Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I'm working on courage to come out I'm sure I will lose my marriage(my wife will leave me), and her side of the family will be done with me. I'm sure I will lose some of my side of the family. and what friends I have I will likely lose some of them. I'm also sure that at work it won't go over to well.. but I won't lose my job I may be "put on an island" so to speak.

The challenge here is I'm afraid of growing old, alone. so it paralyzes me from coming out.

For those that came out and lost a wife, or partner because of it. Are you lonely? do you live alone, and on your own?  For those that are out now, are you lonely? what is your story?

I've always been alone, more or less. Yeah, I had some friends back in the day. But, I never really felt like we had a true connection, other than the fact that we got intoxicated together. They ditched me once I came out. Oh well. Good riddance.

Even though my relationship with my family is basically okay, my relationship with my father certainly went downhill once I transitioned. Sure, we still see each other since he and my mother live together (even though they have been divorced for years). But, we barely speak to each other. We just don't have much to say to each other anymore. Oh, well. That's just the way it turned out. It doesn't matter.

As far as being alone is concerned: Honestly, that would have occurred no matter what my gender situation would have been. Cis-male, Cis-female, Transchick, Transguy. It would have made no difference at all. I always knew that I would be alone. 95% of the time, I don't care about it. The remaining 5%? I just deal with it and get over it. The truth is that I could never live with anyone anyway. I'm pretty difficult to live with and set in my ways at this point. So, I don't need to deal with someone else complaining about how I do things. That's not even considering bringing gender into the mix, either.

In these cases its very difficult. On one hand nobody wants to be alone. Everyone most come to a decision about what they want and need. Every action has a positive or negative reaction. If you truly want to be yourself and you know who you are, staying in one spot and not progressing only leads you to despair. Somethings people can truly bring you down and stop you from advancing and evolving and becoming, other times they can help you elevate yourself to new levels. From what I'm getting, your being stopped from growing and its going to get worse unless you can make a conscious choice about how you want your life to go. How about this, why don't you make up a pros and cons list. This way you can sort out your needs and wants as well as the positive and negative consequences of each action or choice you may or may not make.
 

Quote from: mickey.megan on January 29, 2016, 01:55:35 PM
I'm working on courage to come out I'm sure I will lose my marriage(my wife will leave me), and her side of the family will be done with me. I'm sure I will lose some of my side of the family. and what friends I have I will likely lose some of them. I'm also sure that at work it won't go over to well.. but I won't lose my job I may be "put on an island" so to speak.

The challenge here is I'm afraid of growing old, alone. so it paralyzes me from coming out.

For those that came out and lost a wife, or partner because of it. Are you lonely? do you live alone, and on your own?  For those that are out now, are you lonely? what is your story?

About 15 years ago I had the opportunity to come out to my wife properly and tell her the truth about me not being a crossdresser  and that what I really wanted was to transition and that this is something I have wanted for as long as I can remember. But I didn't because I was certain I would lose everyone and be onb my own.

I waited a further 15 years before finally deciding that I had to "come out" regardless of the outcome. I really was terrified of losing my partner as she is my soul mate. When I did tell her she was as you would expect shocked but she was also on my side and made a commitment that day that no matter what happens she was not going anywhere. The rest of the family was really good  with the exception of my mother, She is still a work in progress.

I was prepared to lose everyone in my life and had this been the case then I would still have come out. Once you are out you may find as I did that the world is a different place than I had anticipated with support coming from unexpected quarters.

There is no substitute for living as your authentic self

Elizabeth K

Quote from: mickey.megan on January 29, 2016, 01:55:35 PM
For those that came out and lost a wife, or partner because of it. Are you lonely? do you live alone, and on your own?  For those that are out now, are you lonely? what is your story?

Yes, I live alone, and yes, I'm not going to lie, I'm really lonely.

My wife asked for a divorce when I transitioned. I've been trying to date for more than two years. I'm intelligent, interesting, loving, and I have a really nice figure, but so far no one has shown the slightest interest in me as a romantic partner.

I still think transitioning was worth it, and I'd do it again in a heartbeat.

I've been alone all my life , but since being on HRT I'm alone but, happy.

17 years ago I hit the crossroads either get divorced or tell my wife the while ugly truth.up til then she thought I was a crossdresser, but I still hid Cheryl in the closet. When I fully came out to my wife we talked for 3 days with no sleep, and then she set fire to my closet so I couldn't hide anymore, we agreed to no hrt or grs for that would be a deal breaker, but I can dress when I have downtime which is rare, but I love my wife. I've never sought out therapy for I don't trust them due to bad experiences with am.

Sure I would be happy to help

Quote from: stephaniec on January 29, 2016, 07:06:24 PM
I've been alone all my life , but since being on HRT I'm alone but, happy.

Pretty much the same. I always wondered how people could live with someone else in their house. I wouldn't be able to stand that. Independence for the win!  :)

Hugs, Devlyn

Yes so many ppl will not understand.....try not to worry about it at all. The world is full of new ppl to make friends with, good friends.......enjoy being your self first, then find friends that like you. For the others who cares. I've met so many new ppl & good friends along with men since I'm a hetrosexual woman.