Susan's Place Transgender Resources

So, you wan to become a girl?

No, I am already a girl.

But, you are a guy...

No, I have never been a guy.

But you have a...well, you are a guy.

No, I have never been a "guy" and it does not matter what chromosomes I was formed with, my brain is a girl brain.  It is not that I am trying to 'become' anything, I am already.  Just trying to align the inside and outside so that I can be happy with the whole package.

So you are going to get it cut off...

Can we talk about this later?  I am hungry and I have a headache.

Just tell them you are going to gift to them preserved in formaldehyde.  Answers like that usually leave them speechless.


Sapere Aude

Quote from: Deborah on February 04, 2016, 08:07:56 AM
Just tell them you are going to gift to them preserved in formaldehyde.  Answers like that usually leave them speechless.
Sapere Aude

:)

Sound like one of my conversation with Gender Dysphoria Therapy

I've had similar discussions with my wife... everytime she says "you want to be a girl"...

I AM... not want to be...

But the concept is difficult for some to grasp...

In fairness to them, I don't think they're -trying- to be obtuse. It's just that the concept is so foreign to them, the idea that living the wrong gender really really sucks, they can't empathize with it in any way. The only thing they can think is "Well, I don't really care about my gender, I'd probably be okay being the other gender, so that must mean they just want to switch to the other gender because <unknown reasons>."

And that's about as far as they get. The polite will at least have some tact about it, but unless you've got some gender issues of your own it's a very difficult thing to empathize with it seems.

Hang in there. I know it can be difficult as those around us have difficulty understanding. Hugs
Mariah

I think CIS people have no internal awareness of gender because since everything matches and there is no conflict, that awareness never arises to conscious thought.  So, for them it's an unknown and might as well not exist at all.  They have no conscious reference point from which to understand our dilemma.


Sapere Aude

Quote from: Deborah on February 04, 2016, 09:46:44 AM
I think CIS people have no internal awareness of gender because since everything matches and there is no conflict, that awareness never arises to conscious thought.  So, for them it's an unknown and might as well not exist at all.  They have no conscious reference point from which to understand our dilemma.


Sapere Aude

***clicks on like button***

Quote from: Deborah on February 04, 2016, 08:07:56 AM
Just tell them you are going to gift to them preserved in formaldehyde.  Answers like that usually leave them speechless.


Sapere Aude

Now THAT was funny.

Quote from: Deborah on February 04, 2016, 08:07:56 AM
Just tell them you are going to gift to them preserved in formaldehyde.  Answers like that usually leave them speechless.


Sapere Aude

Oh no I'm laughing in class...

Quote from: Deborah on February 04, 2016, 09:46:44 AM
since everything matches and there is no conflict, that awareness never arises to conscious thought.

Yes.  Very well said.

Quote from: Deborah on February 04, 2016, 09:46:44 AM
I think CIS people have no internal awareness of gender because since everything matches and there is no conflict, that awareness never arises to conscious thought.  So, for them it's an unknown and might as well not exist at all.  They have no conscious reference point from which to understand our dilemma.


Sapere Aude

I think this is probably the best explanation that can be given.  It's just not on most peoples' radar, at all, ever.

Quote from: Deborah on February 04, 2016, 09:46:44 AM
I think CIS people have no internal awareness of gender because since everything matches and there is no conflict, that awareness never arises to conscious thought.  So, for them it's an unknown and might as well not exist at all.  They have no conscious reference point from which to understand our dilemma.


Sapere Aude

Can I quote this?  This is a very straightforward way of putting it to my cis friends who really want to understand but just don't.

Quote from: Deborah on February 04, 2016, 08:07:56 AM
Just tell them you are going to gift to them preserved in formaldehyde.  Answers like that usually leave them speechless.


Sapere Aude

We SO need that like button!! Way to go Deborah! Lol


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I'm usually not a fan of the saying "you can't understand what I'm going through, unless your going through it as well", but in the case of gender dysphoria I find it an appropriate way of viewing things.

I grew up in a not so religious family, but my friends and my formative years were spent heavily involved in some of this countries largest youth ministries. What they taught is that basically consciousness of sexuality is directly tied to the reproductive capacity of your body. This is a notion I myself personally held for many years(while I lived ignorant of my own gender dysphoria).

The thing I have come to realize is that gender consciousness is not set in stone. Our bodies are like a shadow, its what people see, but it's not real. What is real can only be found inside, that's what constitutes the "true" us as women.

Furthermore, while many can't/choose not to understand gender dysphoria, they really haven't taken the time to use logic in their beliefs. If we are created by a supreme being & that supreme being can create people who are born intersexual(born with both sexual organs), then doesn't it stand to reason that a supreme being could also create a woman trapped in a man's body?

Not sure if most people see it that way. But all that matters is that we are true to ourselves and happy with who we are.

Quote from: Adchop on February 04, 2016, 09:37:31 PM
I'm usually not a fan of the saying "you can't understand what I'm going through, unless your going through it as well", but in the case of gender dysphoria I find it an appropriate way of viewing things.

I agree, but there's still people who genuinely don't understand, even if you sit there and try to help the understand.  At that point I usually just give up trying to explain any further.

It's impossible to genuinely understand for someone who isn't trans. That doesn't mean a cis person can't empathize with us after spending time getting to know us.


     Hugs,
- Katie
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Quote from: Obfuskatie on February 05, 2016, 07:06:07 AM
It's impossible to genuinely understand for someone who isn't trans. That doesn't mean a cis person can't empathize with us after spending time getting to know us.


     Hugs,
- Katie
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Amen xoxo

I get how people have questions, but there are so many ways I can reword my responses to the same people. I think my poor mothers mind is going in circles trying to understand even a small part of it. She seems to think we can find an alternative. For some one who was strongly opposed my use of performance enhancing substances during my athletic days , she has been as pro steroid as a 300 lb leaned out pro wrestler lately. As if steroids will solve this problem. I must have to keep reminding her your in the right book, but reading the wrong chapter. Hormones will solve the problem. You are thinking of the wrong hormone sweetheart. Lol this is why I am do terrified of transitioning. It opens to many unwanted social doors.

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A lot of good input and response, thank you all!  Went to dinner with her last night and we had a chat about things.  In the end, the conversation/discussion went well and the point was made well enough.  The intercourse from the other day will fade to the past and our friendship of 20 years will move forward in a slightly different direction.

The sentiment that only someone going through this can understand this is so true.  Without the framing that the experience offers, there is no way to comprehend the facets that are not obvious.

In the end, she came to understand that this is an internal growth and the physical is not the overall goal, at least for me.  It was not until the subject of "partners" came up that the light came on bright for her.  At that point, I explained to her that I am asexual...but if I were to begin to develop interests in someone, it would be with someone that understands...and no one but someone else who is transgender can truly do that.

I am an open book, ask me anything.  I am not shy about who I am.  Some people get weird and walk on, and that is fine.  They are not my tribe.  I have other friends that are strong, empathetic and supportive.  The main point I would have anyone who meets me reflect upon is that I love all, that love is my religion and that all are included.  She got this and the rest is not that important now.

Spot on, Deborah <3

I wrote about this exact subject on my blog about a week ago.

When you are a woman, you just are, there isn't much to say or to explain. I don't know, No one ever questioned my identity and I don't either --after my transition

We are who we are :D

Hugs

Quote from: LadyEleanor on February 05, 2016, 09:29:47 AM
Spot on, Deborah <3

I wrote about this exact subject on my blog about a week ago.

When you are a woman, you just are, there isn't much to say or to explain. I don't know, No one ever questioned my identity and I don't either --after my transition

We are who we are :D

Hugs

Agreed, but it wouldn't be so big of a deal if people in general didn't question women constantly about their realness. Femininity and femaleness are often ascribed to procreative value. Women who are barren or post menopause often feel like they aren't women enough as well.
Plus, I still get stupid questions from people after I out myself to them, since I am and want to remain out about who I am. Over time I've gotten better at dealing with the crazy and inappropriate questions the ignorant ask. It can be so annoying that I'm saddled with being the expert so often... :/


     Hugs,
- Katie
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