Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Had lunch with an ex colleague yesterday. I really like her, we've known each other for about eight years and we get along great, plus she was very supportive of my transition at the time we worked together. Anyway, it was a great lunch and we chatted for well over an hour before she realised the time and we both had to rush back to work. We hugged, kissed on the cheek and said parting farewells. I almost, without thinking, said "love you"! Almost. I had to catch myself because it was literally right on the tip of my tongue. And hey, I know it wouldn't have been that bad, but I don't see our friendship that way - yes I do love her, in a sisterly way, but it could never be more than that - she is straight, married and about 14 years younger than me. So there's nothing there we are friends and that's it but wow, if I had said "love you" I think I would have thrown a cat among the pigeons.

I think it was a bit of a reflex thing, I always say "love you" to my mum whenever we part company or finish a phone call, but this is a liiiiittle bit different.

Anyway, it's awesome to have these kind of catch ups with women friends. They were never a thing for me with ex colleagues when I was presenting as a dude.

Sounds like a wonderful and enjoyable experience Grace. Congrats. I couldn't udder those words before transition either. Hugs
Mariah

I don't think it would of been bad. Didn't the Beatles say" all you need is love "

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dsxtImDVMig

Love is a powerful word.

But we all love for people and pets.

If Paris Hilton can love Tinkerbell more than anything else in this world... Than love cannot be a bad thing. Sadly, she passed away in 2015.

https://www.instagram.com/p/t4L6r2KgKb/

I have many cis-females hug me and say "I love you," their husbands standing at their side.  Zero sexual innuendo.  It just means that you think the other person is much nicer than usual (and usually much nicer than their husbands), and that she hopes the platonic social relationship will continue.  You receive it that way, and give it in the same spirit.  My husband does not feel threatened, and neither do I.  Just a part of re-affirming that you have found a kindred soul.

I will admit to some very complicated feelings towards her - I guess I would have felt very exposed had I accidentally outed those feelings. Yes I said I loved her like a sister but if I'm being honest with myself it probably runs a lot deeper than that. :-\ But again, as I said, she's married, hetro, I'm not kidding myself for even a nanosecond there is anything there. I do love and appreciate her company though and that is more than enough.

The freedom to say to a female friend that you love them without any sexual connotation is one of the blessings we receive. Be you lesbian or straight makes no difference; we can express our emotion openly and that is only ever for the good of all.

kissing and hugging too

Those deeper feelings are really the main thing complicating matters.  But if you had said it, things would have been ok.  Because it really is an ok thing to say to friends.(I always have.)  As for your own feelings, that's something you'll have to sort through and figure out.  Just try not to be too hard on yourself.  Things will be alright.

I also see so many girls saying I love you... to each other and now they say it to me as well... its just a natural girl thing but our male conditioning has taught us it means lets get with it... ??? or something

I think you should let it fly next time

I mentioned this to my mother when we spoke on the phone today. She had a very interesting angle, given that this woman knew me before transition it would have been different to say "love you" than had I known her only as female. I think this may have an element of truth to it and explains why I feel at ease flirting with one of the women at work who has only ever known me as Grace.

Fun read Grace, and I almost want to know and am extremely curious about what could have happened if those words came out of your mouth haha!

good your mother is lending an ear