Community Conversation => Significant Others talk => Topic started by: PrincessButtercup on February 19, 2016, 02:59:25 PM Return to Full Version

Title: He Wants T-blockers And I'm Scared
Post by: PrincessButtercup on February 19, 2016, 02:59:25 PM
As the subject says, my husband wants to pursue T-Blockers, but without estrogen. His goal is to develop a more androgynous appearance since he won't be transitioning to a woman. I read a bunch of information about the possible side effects, including lack of sex drive, difficulty getting and keeping an erection, liver problems, kidney problems, etc. Am I overreacting? Do some folks use only T-blockers long-term without experiencing all the negative side effects?

We've discussed it, and estrogen is off the table because there's no way I could handle that level of change in him and he would rather keep our marriage together and find a middle ground where we can coexist.
Title: Re: He Wants T-blockers And I'm Scared
Post by: Cindy on February 19, 2016, 03:04:07 PM
T blockers alone may lead to medical issues as we all need a sex hormone either E or T to maintain our health in particular bone strength.
I doubt a medic would prescribe blockers alone and self medication is just not on.

We put children on blockers to stop puberty but under strict medical supervision.
Title: Re: He Wants T-blockers And I'm Scared
Post by: PrincessButtercup on February 19, 2016, 03:30:46 PM
Quote from: Cindy on February 19, 2016, 03:04:07 PM
T blockers alone may lead to medical issues as we all need a sex hormone either E or T to maintain our health in particular bone strength.
I doubt a medic would prescribe blockers alone and self medication is just not on.

We put children on blockers to stop puberty but under strict medical supervision.

That's what I've wondered about because I've not found anything about someone being on T-blockers alone for the long-term.

He definitely wouldn't self-medicate.

I just have this fear in the pit of my stomach that I'm going to be told that he has to take e and then he'll eventually have breasts, a woman's butt & thighs... and I'll be sleeping alone.
Title: Re: He Wants T-blockers And I'm Scared
Post by: Cindy on February 19, 2016, 03:51:49 PM
Possibly low dose E would work. There are a number of members here who are on low dose E and present as male.
This really needs a deep discussion between the two of you and the therapist.

I do feel for you in this very difficult situation that you are both in.
Title: Re: He Wants T-blockers And I'm Scared
Post by: PrincessButtercup on February 19, 2016, 04:07:36 PM
He's signing the forms next week so I can talk to his gender therapist. I have my own 1:1 scheduled with her. I want to do that before I start joining his sessions.

I think this is going to be more of a discussion with the doctor than the therapist, though. I guess I'll find out what is happening there after his appointment with our GP next week (he has an appointment for something else, but is thinking of asking for the T-blocker while he's there).

I'm making progress with resigning myself that things are never going back to the way they were and I'm trying to be as supportive as possible while he works on exploring ways to tackle his GD in order to have a happier life. Still, if I found a genie and got 3 wishes, the first one would probably be to make GD nonexistent. It's so difficult on everyone. The 2nd would be for enough money to never have to worry again. The 3rd...who knows...
Title: Re: He Wants T-blockers And I'm Scared
Post by: Cindy on February 19, 2016, 04:29:05 PM
As for your first wish I recall my first meeting with my psychiatrist. I asked him if there was some way that he could make me a man as it would make my life 'normal'.
He replied that he could change my body to match my brain, but he couldn't change my brain to match my body.

I became me and I am finally at peace.
Title: Re: He Wants T-blockers And I'm Scared
Post by: Hikari on February 19, 2016, 04:55:10 PM
I have known a few people to go on antiandrogens alone, but it was almost always part of a hormone regimen where estrogen was to be added at some point. It is doubtful that too many serious problems would occur on the short term from using a common and safe medication like Spiro but over the long term you absolutely need either E or T, also with the hot flashes and whatnot I had when I was briefly on spiro without E it was not fun at all.

Title: Re: He Wants T-blockers And I'm Scared
Post by: SophieSakura on February 19, 2016, 05:30:45 PM
That must be so scary and worrying for you.  I also wish that we could wave a magic wand and make the dysphoria go away for people, it must be so hard for them to go through it and is so hard for us partners too. xxx

I don't know much about the hormones but will be following to learn more.
Title: Re: He Wants T-blockers And I'm Scared
Post by: PrincessButtercup on February 19, 2016, 05:32:31 PM
Quote from: Hikari on February 19, 2016, 04:55:10 PM
I have known a few people to go on antiandrogens alone, but it was almost always part of a hormone regimen where estrogen was to be added at some point. It is doubtful that too many serious problems would occur on the short term from using a common and safe medication like Spiro but over the long term you absolutely need either E or T, also with the hot flashes and whatnot I had when I was briefly on spiro without E it was not fun at all.

Being post menopausal (hysterectomy years ago), and opting to skip HRT, I'm a pro at dealing with hot flashes. A little peppermint oil on the back of the neck does wonders! Just thought I'd share that trick in case it helps someone down the road.
Title: Re: He Wants T-blockers And I'm Scared
Post by: PrincessButtercup on February 19, 2016, 05:33:49 PM
Quote from: SophieSakura on February 19, 2016, 05:30:45 PM
That must be so scary and worrying for you.  I also wish that we could wave a magic wand and make the dysphoria go away for people, it must be so hard for them to go through it and is so hard for us partners too. xxx

I don't know much about the hormones but will be following to learn more.

Thanks for the support. I greatly appreciate it.

This is definitely a learning process for you and me both.
Title: Re: He Wants T-blockers And I'm Scared
Post by: DawnOday on February 19, 2016, 07:25:42 PM
I have been on low dose Spiro for 25 years for my heart condition. It has given me breasts, small ones but not what you would normally find on a guy. It has also reduced my sex drive which I found is not the end of the world but damn close.
Title: Re: He Wants T-blockers And I'm Scared
Post by: PrincessButtercup on February 19, 2016, 07:48:18 PM
Quote from: DawnOday on February 19, 2016, 07:25:42 PM
I have been on low dose Spiro for 25 years for my heart condition. It has given me breasts, small ones but not what you would normally find on a guy. It has also reduced my sex drive which I found is not the end of the world but damn close.

Oh terrific...those are 2 of my fears. I guess he could always wear a shirt and take Viagra. Still...not what I want to happen.  :(