Community Conversation => Transitioning => Coming out of the closet => Topic started by: sarah.s on October 10, 2007, 02:40:35 PM Return to Full Version
Title: thinking about it
Post by: sarah.s on October 10, 2007, 02:40:35 PM
Post by: sarah.s on October 10, 2007, 02:40:35 PM
ok so here we go, i really want to come out to my friends, when i thought i was a tv my psychic friend guessed and there were a few jokey comments from her and her boyfriend to show me they were ok about it. That was a few years ago and nothings been said about it
but now things have changed and i realize that i want to take things further by going to therapy and transitioning.
i really want to tell them my feelings and i know they would be fine about it but for some reason i just cant take that first step. ive thought about just blurting it out to them but im not sure that would be the right way to go.
any ideas??
but now things have changed and i realize that i want to take things further by going to therapy and transitioning.
i really want to tell them my feelings and i know they would be fine about it but for some reason i just cant take that first step. ive thought about just blurting it out to them but im not sure that would be the right way to go.
any ideas??
Title: Re: thinking about it
Post by: Kate on October 10, 2007, 02:53:56 PM
Post by: Kate on October 10, 2007, 02:53:56 PM
There probably is no "right" way, unfortunately. Everyone's situation is different, and you never really know how anyone will react.
In my experience, "blurting it out" worked well with aquaintances and strangers, such as when dealing with neighbors, nurses or dentists who I had to tell for whatever reason. With people who had no personal interest in me, it seemed best to just be matter-of-fact and not make any big deal of it. Those conversations never went past, "Oh, by the way, I'm changing my sex and going by the name Kate now."
But even with friends and relatives, I found that people really didn't care about the details or want explanations. They just want to know what to expect, that you're sure you're doing the right thing, and that you're happy. AND usually ask how they can help.
My one piece of advice: never make it seem like you're apologizing. Don't get into justifications and rationalizations, don't try to "prove" that your feelings are valid and OK. Just open your heart, and SHOW them how you feel. Give them the chance to truly know you at last, and trust them to cherish that gift.
~Kate~
In my experience, "blurting it out" worked well with aquaintances and strangers, such as when dealing with neighbors, nurses or dentists who I had to tell for whatever reason. With people who had no personal interest in me, it seemed best to just be matter-of-fact and not make any big deal of it. Those conversations never went past, "Oh, by the way, I'm changing my sex and going by the name Kate now."
But even with friends and relatives, I found that people really didn't care about the details or want explanations. They just want to know what to expect, that you're sure you're doing the right thing, and that you're happy. AND usually ask how they can help.
My one piece of advice: never make it seem like you're apologizing. Don't get into justifications and rationalizations, don't try to "prove" that your feelings are valid and OK. Just open your heart, and SHOW them how you feel. Give them the chance to truly know you at last, and trust them to cherish that gift.
~Kate~
Title: Re: thinking about it
Post by: Ms.Behavin on October 18, 2007, 11:18:11 PM
Post by: Ms.Behavin on October 18, 2007, 11:18:11 PM
Ditto ....what Kate said. Just be you, open and honest. If they know your TV then they probably will still support you later on. For me everyone who was my friend before is still my friend now. But I'm weird or more likely have really great friends. I think you will find in the long term it's easier to tell them earily. As I've told some other friends, We cheat our friends by holding back a part that is us. Let your friends know all of you.
Take care
Beni
Take care
Beni
Title: Re: thinking about it
Post by: sarah.s on October 29, 2007, 07:36:07 AM
Post by: sarah.s on October 29, 2007, 07:36:07 AM
*update*
decided to go to a haloween party this week as sarah :) really excited about seeing my friends reactions and, at the moment looking forward to it. keep getting bouts of nervousness but they pass quite quickly.
decided to go to a haloween party this week as sarah :) really excited about seeing my friends reactions and, at the moment looking forward to it. keep getting bouts of nervousness but they pass quite quickly.
Title: Re: thinking about it
Post by: Pica Pica on October 29, 2007, 08:34:39 AM
Post by: Pica Pica on October 29, 2007, 08:34:39 AM
On no account after telling then go 'tada, surprise' and making jazz hands.
Title: Re: thinking about it
Post by: sarah.s on October 30, 2007, 06:42:30 AM
Post by: sarah.s on October 30, 2007, 06:42:30 AM
Quote from: Pica Pica on October 29, 2007, 08:34:39 AM
On no account after telling then go 'tada, surprise' and making jazz hands.
lol! haha, dont think that will go down too well either!
sarah the witch will be making an appearance >:D i have quite a gothic style anyway so being a witch is close enough to how i want to be
thanx for the good luck msg keira ;)