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So last night about 11 I get a call from my sister...she said our mom passed away due to complications of COPD. She was 79, and had a DNR order.

I just realized there is no way to prepare for something like this, no practicing...we only have one mom.

:(

*hugs*

She was the last of the adults who influenced my childhood, and probably the only one with a positive influence...RIP Mom.

Big hug! So sorry, hon. You're right, there's no rehearsal for this. Get in touch if there's anything I can help you with.

RIP Beth's mom.  :(

Hugs, Devlyn

Sorry to hear this Beth. Condolence to you and your. We never prepare for lost of love one. Hugs

Luanne

I am very sorry for your loss; God bless your mom, along with you, and the rest of your family. Take care.

So sorry for your loss. Hugs
Mariah

I'm so sorry for your loss and it is difficult because, as you say, no way to prepare.  I was going to take my mom to the doctor and went in another room to put my shoes on while she was eating lunch.  In the couple of minutes I was out of sight, she passed away so I certainly understand what you are feeling.

Hugs,
Beverly

My heart goes out to you, Beth.  By way of offering what small comfort I am able, I would suggest that you look up Anita Moorjani on Youtube.  The story she tells is a huge comfort to many facing similar circumstances.

Be well.
Miharu

Please accept my condolences

My deepest condolences Beth

Quote from: BeverlyAnn on February 23, 2016, 11:48:34 AM
I'm so sorry for your loss and it is difficult because, as you say, no way to prepare.  I was going to take my mom to the doctor and went in another room to put my shoes on while she was eating lunch.  In the couple of minutes I was out of sight, she passed away so I certainly understand what you are feeling.

Hugs,
Beverly

One of my sisters passed away like that...she had called our sister for help because she couldn't get up off the couch. When sister arrived, she knew to call the local (rural) ambulance and went outside to wave them in. They arrived in <5 minutes but when they went inside they found her "gone." There's just no way to know when it will happen...

Thank you everyone.

*hugs*

Hugs.

Jen

sorry

I'm sorry for your loss. But in the grand scheme of it all, she still lives on in your heart. I would bet anything she wouldn't want to see you sad, or angry for what has happened, just know that she will and always will love you, and the influence in her physical life expands even deeper that what there was. Just know that she will always be there to support you.

Kate <3

I am sorry for your loss Beth.  I will keep you and you family in my prayers. ❤️❤️

My heartfelt condolences Beth

Hugs

So sorry for your loss Beth.

Hugs

So sorry to hear that, take care of yourself.

I am sorry to read that Beth. As you say we only have one mother and I know it never seems long enough to you, but 79 was a good age generally speaking.

We are sad at the death of a loved one of course, but why are we sad? It is because we will miss that person and the things we would say and do together. Their life has ended, no more pain and suffering for them if they were that way but we have the pain now. I know it won't seem that way for a while and you now have a "Year of firsts" to endure, but in time, the pain decreases and happiness begins to fill the space. When we remember them, it's the happy times that we recall, not the sad.

I believe a person is only really and truly gone when no one remembers their name or speaks it and they have become forgotten by later family members.

Take care of yourself and remember that you were loved and always will be, it's just in a different way now.

Peace and love to you Beth and my sympathies.

Love,
Clare

Beth, I am sorry to hear about your mother. My mother also made it to 79. She had some strokes and a broken back. I know how you feel. RIP!

  I know how you feel. My mom was only 62. Cancer. Hugs.

Joelene

Thank you, everyone! It really means a lot to read this thread again...*hugs*, and doubly so to those who've lost their moms also...

My sister and brother are handling all the details of the funeral, services, burial and headstone, since they lived in the same town (about 350 miles from me). None of us are rich, but thanks to a couple of dear friends these things aren't going to be a financial burden.

I never knew it was so expensive to die! Even cremation, which is the least expensive route, is pretty pricey! (We're looking at about $4k) I also learned there's really no good time to talk about money for this...people tend to be in denial of mortality and have a "don't worry, be happy" mindset.

For me, another life lesson learned.

Very sorry for your loss, My mom just died in early March. I was with her for the last 4 months. Fought to the end. Was bed ridden the last 4 days. Died at 77 copd and trachea cancer. Slow suffocation. It was the most terrible experience of my life thus far. No other close family such as my sister or granddaughter came to see her. My family is so screwed up. My coming to stay with her kept her going. As I enabled her to do the little things she liked to do everyday and cooking for me and stuff. doing the mom things again for the time she had left. Still distraught over it.

 Thanks Karen...and *hugs* to you, and kudos for staying with her to the end. I'm on the other side of the state, and couldn't make it before she passed, but my older brother was there, and heard her last words.

I can't imagine the level of hurting you are feeling. My condolences.