Susan's Place Transgender Resources

So I went to the thrift store today to try on men's clothes and everything makes me look like a little boy playing dress up in his father's clothes. It's depressing. I'm a bigger guy. Honestly, I could stand to lose about 80 pounds, but that's not something that's going to happen overnight so...I don't know what to do. I'm assuming going on T would help with pants, but it's not going to make my breasts disappear. Does anyone have any suggestions? In the end, I just got some women's pants and button up shirts. I'm definitely not going to pass but I guess it's better than nothing :(

Well it depends on how curvy you are.  Most men's pants aren't designed for hips and posteriors.  I favor the relaxed or loose fit for jeans.  They accommodate my larger than normal male hips. A thrift shop is probably not going to be terribly helpful.  Guys tend to wear clothes until they die rather than donate.  You should consider going to something like Walmart and trying on a few different styles of pants.

Hey Jonathan, could you describe your shape a little then maybe we could give specific suggestions on where to shop or what to look for when shopping?  Like are you pear, Apple, or hourglass?  What's your height?  You mentioned chest size--are you able to bind much?  How are you proportioned--like do you have short legs and a long torso or vice versa?  I help people figure out what to wear with their body type for a living, but it's hard to give advice since being a bigger guy can mean a lot of different shapes.  :) Some body types just don't fit into men's clothes, but others can look in specific departments or online stores or specialty stores even if they don't fit common sizes.

Quote from: amberwaves on February 28, 2016, 08:53:31 PM
A thrift shop is probably not going to be terribly helpful.  Guys tend to wear clothes until they die rather than donate.  You should consider going to something like Walmart and trying on a few different styles of pants.

That's a good point. I actually found the one pair of men's jeans that more or less fit at Target, lol. I guess I can see what else they have and get a couple of items every month.

Quote from: FtMitch on February 28, 2016, 10:37:27 PM
Hey Jonathan, could you describe your shape a little then maybe we could give specific suggestions on where to shop or what to look for when shopping?  Like are you pear, Apple, or hourglass?  What's your height?  You mentioned chest size--are you able to bind much?  How are you proportioned--like do you have short legs and a long torso or vice versa?  I help people figure out what to wear with their body type for a living, but it's hard to give advice since being a bigger guy can mean a lot of different shapes.  :) Some body types just don't fit into men's clothes, but others can look in specific departments or online stores or specialty stores even if they don't fit common sizes.

These are really good questions! I'm very hourglassy, 5'2, and I think do have short legs and a longer torso. Unfortunately I'm not able to bind. I have been trying to wear a sports bra and even that hurts after awhile. I think I'm a D. The biggest problem seems to be finding shirts that fit over my chest and hips that aren't so baggy that I'm floating in them. Also, I notice that the arms are all waaay too long. I found pants that fit around the waist and hips but the legs/thighs were really baggy which just makes me look bigger than I am. Sigh. Although the pants I found at Target that I mentioned above actually fit pretty well. They just don't really hide my curvy hips/behind. Sigh.

I was in between pants sizes, and I had a lot of luck getting pants from the thrift store. It seemed like it was easier to make the smaller size fit if they were a little wore in. Compression shorts were also helpful in reducing my hips.

As far as tops, I found that layering worked best. Binder at the base, then a tanktop tucked into my pants and belted to smooth out any weird lines, then a t-shirt, and another t-shirt if it still needed to be flatter.

Quote from: Jonathan L on February 28, 2016, 11:54:34 PM
That's a good point. I actually found the one pair of men's jeans that more or less fit at Target, lol. I guess I can see what else they have and get a couple of items every month.

These are really good questions! I'm very hourglassy, 5'2, and I think do have short legs and a longer torso. Unfortunately I'm not able to bind. I have been trying to wear a sports bra and even that hurts after awhile. I think I'm a D. The biggest problem seems to be finding shirts that fit over my chest and hips that aren't so baggy that I'm floating in them. Also, I notice that the arms are all waaay too long. I found pants that fit around the waist and hips but the legs/thighs were really baggy which just makes me look bigger than I am. Sigh. Although the pants I found at Target that I mentioned above actually fit pretty well. They just don't really hide my curvy hips/behind. Sigh.

I would suggest starting with a sports bra then adding a tight fitting tank top then a t-shirt then topping that off with a button down shirt (in a dark solid color that contrasts with the t-shirt) left unbuttoned.  For example, a red t-shirt with a navy button down.  Leaving in unbuttoned will create a straight line down your body that will lengthen you and de-emphasize your chest.  The sleeves of button ups will probably be too long for you every time unless you seriously build up your deltoids (shoulder muscles), so I would not reject shirts for this.  Instead roll them up to the elbow, a stylish look that will hide the fact that they are too long.  Choosing a dark color for the button ups will hide the fact that the shoulder seam lays further down the shoulder than it should.

Unfortunately since you are short AND curvy AND can't bind much AND have an hourglass figure, it is unlikely that you will be able to wear button down shirts actually buttoned down, but this is a great alternative to that which is also very trendy.  Don't feel too bad about it, though--I am tall and small chested and thin and 4 months on T, and button down shirts still look a little funny on me when I fully button them as they are obviously tighter at the hip area then anywhere else.  Since I have a small chest I really prefer just t-shirts as they make me look straighter, but I think the t-shirt/open button down combo will be the very best for you.

The person above is right: layers are the key.  Also, a tiny bit of tailoring can go a LONG way.  I actually tailor all the sleeves of my t-shirts to lay tightly against my arms as this makes them look bigger.  It is the difference between looking like a scrawny little thing and a fit dude.  You might try pinching in parts of the shoulders and sleeves of shirts to see if a small bit of tailoring could make them fit a lot better.  If so, it might be worth the cost.  Or, like me, you could do it yourself if it's something simple like making t-shirt sleeves smaller.  Length of dress shirt sleeves are a tougher animal, but like I said, you can always roll those up for an "urban casual" look. 

I have recommendations, but it all depends on your size/shape/income as well as your style preferences.

I prefer a more business casual type look. I like to look professional when possible. If you have a thrift store budget you can always go there, find a button down shirt (as an example) and have it tailored. The shirt would have to be too big in certain areas but after maybe $20 worth of tailoring, it'll fit you pretty darn good.

Situation is similar with trousers, jeans, chinos, etc. My one major beef (however) is that a lot of pants have a saggy crotch. while some of that can be adjusted, and pant legs can be narrowed or tapered to your preferences there isn't a dramatic change that can be made.

If you're looking for this sort of style and have a little more cash to throw around there are other options that would be a better fit.
PeterManningNYC makes really great chinos that are proportioned to shorter bodies. The crotch is closer to where it's supposed to be and he carries inseams down to 26 inches. The shirts are all much shorter in the sleeves where it hits around the right spots. But, again...expensive. There are occasional giveaways and some items get really good sales prices.

Another option, again if you can afford it is Modern Tailor. They make made to measure suits, trousers, and dress shirts. I recommend going for one of their starter shirts (I got the oxford blue) since they're about $20 with $5 shipping (again, I think that's the price). Put in your measurements or find a shirt that fits you well, and measure the shirt subtracting and adding in places that are too baggy and too tight.

Find clothes that you feel are close to fitting and get them tailored.

ALSO! American Eagle now has men's jeans that are stretchy. If that's your kinda thing, check into it. Stretchy fabrics will give you hip room.

by trying  lots and lots and lots of clothes on.
i weigh like 85kg so im a bit on the hefty side of things tbh. i used to wear just baggy clothes but i looked like a child and it was awful and it just made me look worse. like, find stretch jeans theyre good. its hit and miss with charity shops but there are some shops that are fairly cheap tbh.
but ive discovered that even if clothes shopping is painful and upsetting its better to try lots on and find one that fits than just give up and look a bit iffy tbh.
but button up shirts are good. and womens jeans isnt neccesarily a bad thing, if they fit you ok they might not look all that femininy(i know thats not a word). but you could always get jeans that are too long in the leg and turn them up yourself, its not like thats an impossbly hard task (also it seems that having turn ups is in again or maybe thats just where i live idk)

Best stores, in my experience. Originally pear shaped, but now I'm much more masculine. Don't know what I weigh, but I'm about 6'0 now so I definitely am a big guy.

Shirts:
* River Island (lethal for binders, sometimes the neck holes are massive, but otherwise great, good sales)
* American Eagle (Good sales. Go up to really big sizes. I wear a small in their shirts, no joke. Not to mention comfortable)
* Diesel (the thicker shirts only. AVOID the slim fit if you want to pass... they're hell. I got some as a present and the thicker shirt is one of my favourites, but the thinner one makes me look horrific)
* Levis (I have a cardigan from there and it was very cheap on sale, fits perfect, and looks great)
* Penneys/Primark (If you're from Ireland or the UK. When I came out, I went there because you can get shirts for less than 3 euro and other essentials. I pass best in their shirts for some reason. They're comfortable, last for a decent amount of time, and ridiculously cheap)
* H&M (I love their button up shirts. They're great quality and very comfortable. You NEED to iron them though, or they get weird quick)

Hoodies/Pullovers:
* Superdry (Fit weirdly - they're pretty straight, but that means you pass damn well. Comfy, warm, good value. They ball up a lot though on the inside, so your shirt is left covered in fluff which is very annoying. Nice range too)
* Hollister (one of my favourites... so cheap, so comfortable, so cool... but the quality isn't great sometimes. I have some stuff that looks good as new after a year, and others that started to look awkward after a few wears. Great sales though)
* American Eagle (Again, cheap, big sizes and all if you need it... I only have Summer hoodies from them and a denim jacket, but damn they're nice and the designs are cool too)
* GAP (Got some nice, cheap hoodies from them. Sizing is wacky, but they're nice and comfy. The sales are good sometimes since the store isn't doing too well)
* Old Navy (when i go to canada we spend a lot there. Cheap jumpers and t-shirts, good quality, all you need really)

Jeans/Pants:
* Levi's (only jeans that fit - you can get custom fit as well, so you're not stuck if you're over 34" inseam and have thick legs.)
*Aeropostale (picked up some nice joggers here. They last well, they're fairly comfy, but can be too warm.)
* Produkt (No idea if this is available outside my humble homeland, but this company don't seem to have any website... cheap and good quality clothes, long legs on their joggers so an A+ from me)
* Nike ( good joggers, price sucks unless it's on sale, i got some of their classic combat ones that are kind of like swimsuit material and I love 'em. The jersey/flannel/cotton whatever they are joggers are a huge pain in the ass though, since they're very straight leg and stiff)

Try to avoid bright colours or patterns. Maybe I'm too European, but the "tumblr boys" have it right in only wearing monochrome and dark colours. My whole closet really is only dark red, dark blue/navy, black, grey and white. Get a few, high quality pieces that all compliment each other and they'll work out fine. Also, push up your sleeves to the elbow with long sleeved shirts, but NEVER buy cuffed sleeves on t-shirts (this is more popular with girls and does nothing for passing, as I quickly learned). I luckily don't have to do this, but try to make yourself more "flowing" - no short pants, no rolling up the bottom of your pants, and not drawing attention to your socks. It makes you look taller. Unless, of course, you're very small and have to roll up your pants - in that case, only roll them up to the bare minimum, or you'll make yourself look even shorter.

This is all really good advice everyone! Thank you. I guess I'm going to have to do a lot of experimenting :)

i recently suggested american eagle joggers to a friend of mine (who is bigger) and he adores them. jeans just don't work for me, so i made the decision to completely switch over. they're a lot comfier, you can get pretty much any style now, and they're stretchy :) if you go for a pair of twill ones, keep in mind that they tend to be tighter, so order a size up.

as for your top half, layering and button up shirts are your best friend. before surgery, i wore black t-shirts with button ups..... darker colors also conceal fat better, so try that out. hope this helps you out, man!

Quote from: palexander on March 02, 2016, 10:30:39 PM
i recently suggested american eagle joggers to a friend of mine (who is bigger) and he adores them. jeans just don't work for me, so i made the decision to completely switch over. they're a lot comfier, you can get pretty much any style now, and they're stretchy :) if you go for a pair of twill ones, keep in mind that they tend to be tighter, so order a size up.

as for your top half, layering and button up shirts are your best friend. before surgery, i wore black t-shirts with button ups..... darker colors also conceal fat better, so try that out. hope this helps you out, man!

AEO Joggers are the best. They do wonders for awkwardly feminine legs, though I couldn't get a pair long enough, but for anyone who doesn't have the height problem they'll be perfect. They also do 2-for-1s, discounts etc. really often.

  People also suggest the AEO Flex (I think that's the name) jeans because they're stretchy and soft. I know a few parkour guys who wear them... they're good. Again, great sales, and good quality for price.

I am somewhat hard to fit as I am 6'3" and have size 14 feet.  But for the shoe problem try "Shoes of Prey" online. They will custom make your shoes up to women size 15. A little pricey but they are sold at Nordstroms.
Also for Jeans "Make your own Jeans" custom makes jeans pretty much any way you can imagine and inseam is no problem. It is also online. The pair I bought was $62.


















'

Quote from: DawnOday on March 04, 2016, 05:13:46 PM
I am somewhat hard to fit as I am 6'3" and have size 14 feet.  But for the shoe problem try "Shoes of Prey" online. They will custom make your shoes up to women size 15. A little pricey but they are sold at Nordstroms.
Also for Jeans "Make your own Jeans" custom makes jeans pretty much any way you can imagine and inseam is no problem. It is also online. The pair I bought was $62.


Shoes of Prey is a women's shoe company and don't make men's shoes















'

Joggers are a really good idea! Thanks :) Hilariously, the one pair of men's pants I have are joggers. Thank goodness for drawstrings and stretchy fabric.

As far as tailoring, the problem I have with shirts is that I seem to be in between XL and XXL. So XL is too small but XXL is way too big and I'm not sure how much fabric they can really take in?

Quote from: Jonathan L on March 05, 2016, 06:25:37 PM
As far as tailoring, the problem I have with shirts is that I seem to be in between XL and XXL. So XL is too small but XXL is way too big and I'm not sure how much fabric they can really take in?

A decent amount, probably two inches on each side of the torso.

Ok I get it now. Don't have to whack me too many times in the head. Vans is good for tennis shoes up to size 16. JC Penny is where I got most of my shoes and clothes since I was little. Old Navy has up to 36" inseam. Zappo's has large size shoes. Expensive. Suits - Valley Dept Store Upland CA  Work clothes - Bass Pro Shop or Cabela's - Carthart

Just wanted to give you guys an update. I'm teaching myself to hem my pants and keeping my eyes open for joggers. I also got some t-shirts and some smaller button ups to wear over them. I even learned how to fold the sleeves properly (http://www.artofmanliness.com/2012/08/21/how-to-roll-shirt-sleeves/)! It gets really hot here so I got some short sleeve button up shirts to wear over the t-shirts too. I'm dreading the heat in terms of layering. And I got a pair of awesome shoes from the thrift store for $15. So I'm feeling more optimistic. Still worried about how on earth I'm ever going to bind since even wearing a sports bra every day hurts. And when I have a little more money to spend I may get some button down shirts from the thrift store and see if they can be tailored.

One thing I've been wondering about is if you guys found it easier to find men's clothes that fit after being on T? Does it change your shape enough or is it still a struggle because our frames are just always going to be different?

For me, T made a big difference. I still have to try things on, of course, but where I used to spend hours (literally) frustrated because the shirts didn't fit right and I couldn't find one that hid the aspects that looked less masculine or, especially, pants that didn't cling to my thighs. There were like 2 style/brand combos that actually looked ok.

I still hate shopping but I hate it less. I still spend time finding things that look good but it's no longer about the fit making my body look feminine. I can put just about any shirt or pants on from the men's section in my size and have it look ok. Now it's about making sure it's not too tight on my arms or shows that I don't have a 6 pack too much. So, at least for me, it does improve.

That's really encouraging to hear, Dex! I'm trying to decide if T is right for me and that is definitely one point in its favor.

Quote from: Jonathan L on March 12, 2016, 11:09:00 PM

One thing I've been wondering about is if you guys found it easier to find men's clothes that fit after being on T? Does it change your shape enough or is it still a struggle because our frames are just always going to be different?

I actually find it harder now.
Reason: Pre-T I wasn't concerned much about getting clothes that actually fit/looked good. I was looking for clothes that hid curves and chest. Now that trying to cover up those things isn't as much of a concern (because beard) I focus more on getting things that flatter me as a man. I look for clothes that fit the way they should.

Quote from: Nygeel on March 13, 2016, 09:51:47 PM
I actually find it harder now.
Reason: Pre-T I wasn't concerned much about getting clothes that actually fit/looked good. I was looking for clothes that hid curves and chest. Now that trying to cover up those things isn't as much of a concern (because beard) I focus more on getting things that flatter me as a man. I look for clothes that fit the way they should.

I think that makes a lot of sense. I'm definitely more in that place of trying to find clothes that hide curves/a binder than trying to find clothes that I actually like, lol. One day...

try some Old Navy, Gap, and especially Walmart. you never know what you're going to find in Walmart. my big bud finds his pants mostly in Walmart and they look very decent and super sturdy for the price. he says shirts and tops are much harder to look for since he's hefty. you can find them in Academy since the place is always packed with bigger sizes.
i'm much smaller and i have curves (hour glass figure), so it's a pain in the ass to go to the mall because i can't pull the pants pass my hips. lol. my hips have been narrowed down much since starting T but i still have a problem since i have butt and most pants are designed for no butt guys. lol. i have to turn into European stores like H&M and some others.
i find that Forever21 have much bigger sizes compared to most standard sizes, you may want to take a look into it.