Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I guess I come from a different background because I was a radical Hippie in the early 70's which seems to have made be more accepting of flying my trans flag. Just a curious question yes , no, maybe or other on your thoughts of liking being trans.

Things would certainly be less complicated if I were not trans.  But I don't think of it as liking or disliking it.  I am to the point now that I simply accept that I am what I am and do what I need to do to be happy.  So I am neither ashamed of it or proud of it; it's just what is.

I do like being on HRT though because it just makes me feel right whereas before I did not feel right.


Sapere Aude

yes HRT is pretty amazing as a brain fluid.

I do not enjoy being trans. It feels like a curse to me.

I do enjoy:
- Being out
- Being a woman
- Expressing myself
- Feeling relief from most of my depression

The situation is both good and bad depending on what angle I view it from.

Ehhhhhh.....

Yes.
No.
Maybe.

All of the above.

There are some days where I don't think about it and it is what it is.
There are other days where I totally regret not coming out as I child. But, you can't change the past. Plus, I was completely freaked out by the possibility of being disowned and thrown out if I had actually told the truth when my mother asked me about it at the age of 10.
But, there are also those days where I am extremely depressed about it and I wish that I were dead.

I like being trans as much as I like being smart or white or female, it's just a thing that is.
I'm glad I'm trans rather than cis, because my one good parent would have driven me crazy if I had grown up as female. My mom would've been super overprotective because of her being abused as a kid, that I would've hated my mom who is probably my best friend.
There are advantages and disadvantages to being trans, but I'd rather focus on the positive than be bitter about the things I've missed.


     Hugs,
- Katie
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

(https://rosettastoneweb.files.wordpress.com/2015/10/idioms1-min.png)

Being trans really isn't  big deal for me. I enjoy it. I'm happy, healthy and productive. I'm on hrt, post top surgery and considering bottom surgery for the far future...don't want it now

Sent from my SD4930UR using Tapatalk

Well... I've found it's made me very popular in certain circles?

Probably not going to make me popular around here but there are advantages to being a specialty item.

Well, if there is a positive side to all this, it is that I will never have a period.

I also grew up in the hippie generation...thus I don't drink and prefer my green herbs..also tried every psychedelic drug including getting spiritual with pyote.

Always looked for the positives in life...I'm proud to be Trans and would not want anything to change.  I get to live two lives...what a treat

I wish I had been born the exact man I want to turn myself into, or at least had more males in my family to help me grow up more like a male. I resent my whole life for having been female and have bad relationships with the women in my family. I have struggled with self esteem and been self loathing all my life and part of the time I was in denial about why and tried to exaggerate feminity because when I was a "tom boy" before I got made fun of by a guy who said "You wouldn't make a very good boy". That was in 5th grade though and I was/am delicate and feminine looking.

Being trans has made my life hell for decades.  It has been a constant source of stress, with the promise of more stress going forward, no matter what road I take.

I like finally knowing who I am.  When I come out, I am hoping I will like being out, though I expect that the relief of the in-the-closet stress will be made up for by the dealing-with-it-all stress.  If I get to be myself, that will be good.

Quote from: KathyLauren on March 06, 2016, 06:42:55 AM
Being trans has made my life hell for decades.  It has been a constant source of stress, with the promise of more stress going forward, no matter what road I take.

I like finally knowing who I am.  When I come out, I am hoping I will like being out, though I expect that the relief of the in-the-closet stress will be made up for by the dealing-with-it-all stress.  If I get to be myself, that will be good.

Does it at least feel like a relief to come to terms with your inner self?

Flawed poll, Stephanie, I had to vote for absolutely minimally liking being transgender, when in fact I fully embrace it!  ;D

Quote from: Frae on March 06, 2016, 02:28:32 AM
Well... I've found it's made me very popular in certain circles?

Probably not going to make me popular around here but there are advantages to being a specialty item.

I think of myself as an exotic hybrid.  8)

Hugs, Devlyn

Being trans is not all that much an issue for me now, my problem is with people who have a problem with me being trans.

Quote from: alienbodybuilder on March 06, 2016, 07:05:01 AM
Does it at least feel like a relief to come to terms with your inner self?

Yes, it does.  It is a huge relief that finally all that stuff makes sense. 

Apparently my and my kids being trans is good for my brother's street Fred as a gay politician in Leeds.  Sighs endlessly!  My family are such a comfort

I really don't see much about it to like.

Maybe ten years ago I would have said it was a good thing to be more empathetic; now though, I don't think it really matters how empathetic or non-empathetic I am.

I don't dislike the me that resides inside my head. The rest of it is a mess, though.

It took a long time for me to accept that I was transgender (although I am still in the closet, and I doubt I will ever fully transition).

Even though I have accepted it about myself, It doesn't mean I like it about myself.

Don't get me wrong, I LOVE feeling feminine, and pretty, when I can.  I get so much joy and happiness when I look in the mirror, and my hair looks nice, I have earrings on, and sometimes some makeup.  I love looking at my hands when my nails are nice and painted.  But I feel like I only love those things because of my dysphoria.  I don't like that I love feeling pretty (I know, the logic seems crazy, but that is how I feel)

If I could change myself so that I didn't love feminine girly things, I definitely would.  It would certainly make life less complicated. 

Nevertheless, my acceptance about my gender came down to finally admitting to myself that it is basically impossible able to change my love of all things feminine.

Not sure if this makes any sense.

J.

I've been thinking about this since I answered last night and thought I might add something.  There actually is one positive I think that comes out of being trans for me although it's kind of an indirect positive.

My parents told me in so many words that was insane when I was 13.  Then very soon after they sent me away to a military school.  So I basically left home when I was 13 and although they said they were doing it for the education, at least to me at the time it seemed pretty obvious why their sudden interest in military school.  I remained pretty stoic through those months but honestly it hurt a lot and at the time I internalized the blame for the rejection on to myself.

Anyway, the immediate effect on me was to internalize an extreme drive to prove myself to them and probably also to myself.  So, I set out at age 13 to prove that I wasn't worthless and insane.

Now, before that I was pretty average and marginally overweight.  I sucked horribly at sports (an understatement) and was pretty average in school.  I was bullied occasionally and terribly shy to the point of extreme anxiety around new people.

So at age 13 on arriving at a military school 2000 miles from home and being now away from home for the first time, and as it turned out permanently, I set out to reinvent and myself and prove I was worth something.  It became an insatiable drive and it worked.  When I graduated at age 17 I was valedictorian, class president, three varsity sports letters and MVP on the football team, president of several school organizations, and commander of the junior ROTC.  I also got a 100% everything covered scholarship to a pretty exclusive federal college where I went and then later graduated from.

I'm not trying to wave my own flag here but rather to illustrate just how profound a metamorphosis occurred in me almost overnight.  And thinking back on it most can be directly traced to being trans because many of those things, especially the sports, I didn't really want to do but felt a drive to do them anyway.  My coach told my parents my senior year that I had no real talent but that I simply worked harder and more intently than anybody else.  Even the academics were affected because I really hated studying but felt driven to study just hard enough to keep my grades at the top of the class.  I even taught myself not to be shy or at least to fake it enough so other people couldn't tell.    I had to prove myself in every way I could imagine.

So that's what being trans did to me and I suppose it was a good thing.

The ironic thing is that the trans was there in my mind all along and never even slightly faded although I strongly suspect that getting rid of it was one of my parents' primary motivations.  I will say though that when you spend eight years immersed in environments comparible to the military academy of ancient Sparta, nearly 40% of my entire life at the time, that you learn quickly to cope and bury this very deeply so that while it never leaves the conscious mind it is allowed not the slightest expression of any kind.   To allow even a hint to escape would have been disaster in that time and place and would have instantly unraveled the intricate web I was weaving.  I didn't hate myself because of it nor was I really ashamed in any way.  I did however greatly fear the consequences of anybody else knowing.

I'm not sure if I found myself or if I lost myself during that time.  Maybe it was a little bit of both.  I don't think I will ever know.

I get no enjoyment out of being this way. It's a curse actually, though I only have this view due to the way that historically we've been viewed by society.

I know who I am and that my gender identity is innate, I'm not confused, insane, a sexual deviant, or any of the things haters incorrectly believe that trans people are... but I still fear being seen by society at large as 'different' because it has caused, and continues to cause so many issues. Although society is gradually beginning to understand us, I still feel embarrassed and at times fearful of the repercussions of people knowing I'm trans. Because of fear and/or embarrassment, I'm only out to family and my inner circle of friends, and (as yet) never present publicly as female...though I am gradually pushing those boundaries now as my hair grows and the HRT works its magic.

It's kind of a love/hate relationship.

I don't mind that much, everything is in place to make me feel better albeit I do feel incompetent a lot.
the only thing I dislike is how a few persons end up treating me
or caring about their opinions which holds me back.

Personally, being trans means experiencing dysphoria - something I wouldn't wish on the worst person. While it can be rewarding, years and years of hating myself has made me resent the fact that I was born this way.

I respect people who are able to love their history - however with me it is associated with too much pain.

It's all about the direction. If I could be cis female I'd hate being trans. If I had to be a "normal" male, I'd love being trans. Bottom line is that after I get through a lot of the "firsts" of transitioning, I will be more relaxed and really be proud to be trans. I wonder how responses would change if the question became, "In a society that accepts trans people, would you like being transgender?
Moni

I can understand not liking to be trans, but because I am and I've dealt with this all my life I accept it and embrace it because it's not going to change and I can't be any other way. I've got a long history of presenting male and I've never ever liked it, but the reality is it's who  I happen to be. I've said this many times and I really believe it that having being an all out Hippie paved my way to acceptance of myself. Being trans might have been the reason for searching out the Hippie life style , which I think was the reason I embraced being hippie and it's also The reason I embrace being trans.

I wanted to be a hippie too but that was forbidden to me, first by my parents and later by circumstances.  Soooo, now I'm partly living my hippie years I missed the first time around. LOL


Sapere Aude

Both I guess.

There's a lot of information I wouldn't have been taught and people I wouldn't know if I wasn't trans. I also probably know more about myself than most people do about themselves. That's about it. I hate everything else.

Quote from: Deborah on March 06, 2016, 03:37:11 PM
I wanted to be a hippie too but that was forbidden to me, first by my parents and later by circumstances.  Soooo, now I'm partly living my hippie years I missed the first time around. LOL


Sapere Aude

yeah sister

Yes but I'm still struggling with my own internalized shame and guilt of being trans. Some days are good and some days are bad. I would consider my transition to be a little bit easier than others in the context of not receiving negative reactions from strangers etch. but not a day goes by that I question if my decision to live my truth was the right thing to do. There's still so much uncertainty and the path for me is still not clear.

- April

I am fine with being transgender, but it took a long time to feel this way (it has been a recent epiphany).  I used to cringe at the thought of anyone knowing my trans status, but now I don't mind, and I don't have a problem telling people I am. I think my self-acceptance is because for the most part I am happy with how I look; I'm not saying I look perfectly female, and there are improvements I want to make, but overall I am satisfied with my presentation, voice, walk, mannerisms, etc., And another reason is because I like who I am, and I am proud of my accomplishments; including my transformation.

you look good in your avatar

When I feel safe and accepted, I love being trans.  When people are dumb about stuff, I'm annoyed with them (and not being trans).  I just love being me.  One thing I love about giving up on fitting in to the binary is that I feel completely free to live without defining myself.  Where most people are often forced into a single option because of their gender, I often find that I have two.  That's highly liberating.  At other times (washrooms) when I feel like neither option fits... and that goes back to being annoyed with people being dumb about stuff... and not being annoyed by my gender.

bathrooms can definitely be a conundrum .

Quote from: warlockmaker on March 06, 2016, 03:55:46 AM
I also grew up in the hippie generation...thus I don't drink and prefer my green herbs..also tried every psychedelic drug including getting spiritual with pyote.

Always looked for the positives in life...I'm proud to be Trans and would not want anything to change.  I get to live two lives...what a treat

I must say your looking quite lovely .

I like being transgender but I hate hiding myself. Like Deborah said it made me push myself to prove myself as male which has given me benefits in life  but now being 54 I'm sick of hiding myself. I think about being transgender from the time I wake up until I go to sleep. It has given me such depression that 3 different anti depressants haven't gotten under control   

I'm taking a low dose of estrogen which made me feel better but the depression is still there. I try to feel good for awhile and then the depression builds up and explodes again.

I go to a therapist and it seems like I'm telling her the right things to be a good patient but it doesn't work.

My wife and daughters know and my sister and it's never talked about. The big elephant in the room.

I'm traveling in Asia right now. Got here yesterday and will be here for two weeks which leaves me a lot of time on my own to think about myself

I'm sorry for the rant. I do like what being transgender has done for me. It made me more creative, caring, empathetic and loving pretty things. I just need to love and accept myself.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

acceptance was definitely the key for me.

The only positive I can think of is that I get to choose my own name.

Apart from that it's wrecked my life and damaged the lives of those close to me. I really don't see any positive to growing up having to pretend you're something that you're not.

Jx

Quote from: JS UK on March 07, 2016, 06:32:36 AM
The only positive I can think of is that I get to choose my own name.

Apart from that it's wrecked my life and damaged the lives of those close to me. I really don't see any positive to growing up having to pretend you're something that you're not.

Jx

Biology made the mistake, not you.

For a long time, I hated being trans.
Now I've seen just how happy I can actually be as my true self, I love that part of me.

Of course it would have been nicer to have been born correctly to begin with. But today, I'm not holding that against myself and have been very content that I'm able to transition.

Currently yes! 
At least minimally...
The word trans seems to be jiving with my mindset. Not repulsing me anyway.
Recognizing this label/category, where I kind of know whowhatwhere I am, is giving me some feeling of peace.  A lessening of the weight of painful confusion that I was carrying.
Staying tuned in, whenever possible...
For what may be coming next

I have alternatively hated, accepted, hated and loved being trans.  I am at the point in my life where I have finally accepted myself for who I am and have stopped pretending to be who I am not.  When I reached this point it just became it is what is it for me and I am happy being Alicia.  So I love being me without a label.

Hugs,
Alicia

Today I am not liking it >:(

I've never given it much thought.  Do I minimally like being trans? Do I minimally like my body not being what it should have been?  The answer is No for the most part. Having 'transitioned' in childhood, one learns to kinda accept certain things but yet not accept them.  Would I be this happy -  husband, child, etc had I been cis?  This is the minimal part because I am a strong believer in fate and maybe its the Fate's way of making it up to me  :)

I so totally would like to have the whole kittenkaboodle , but I'm so happy to at least have estrogen the stuff I use to contemplate robbing a drug store for.

Sure! I got to meet a lot of cool, intelligent, funny, and open-minded people I probably wouldn't have otherwise.

Quote from: stephaniec on March 09, 2016, 02:21:30 AM
I so totally would like to have the whole kittenkaboodle , but I'm so happy to at least have estrogen the stuff I use to contemplate robbing a drug store for.

You look convincing to me, Stephanie.