Community Conversation => Non-binary talk => Topic started by: Simon T on March 06, 2016, 07:28:29 AM Return to Full Version
Title: On Love, Fear, and being true to your own nature.
Post by: Simon T on March 06, 2016, 07:28:29 AM
Post by: Simon T on March 06, 2016, 07:28:29 AM
Imagine giving in to cultural pressure and letting it shape you into a person that is so far
from your true nature that you have great difficulty in loving and accepting this person.
Imagine gradually losing your connection to your original true self, and thus winding up
as a prisoner in an almost loveless personality.
Imagine how your inner sense of security gradually fades away along with your self-love
and self-acceptance. Ordinary worries and uncertainties grow and turn into fears.
Fear becomes the dominant factor in all your choices, thereby integrating itself
into every aspect of your life.
Imagine reversing the process, peeling off your cultural adaption layer by layer,
even if it means dropping the gender role that you have been playing for so long.
Imagine uncovering your natural true self, and discovering that it is still just as lovable
as the day you were born, and that your natural inner sense of security is still there.
I am not yet a very good example of reversing the process and regaining my self-love,
self acceptance and inner sense of security, but I have made clear progress.
I have written a very personal blog describing my own process, hoping that other people
may benefit from my experience, and my personal interpretation of this experience.
Writing this blog is probably the most meaningful thing that I have ever done.
The blog itself is not open to comments - I prefer to discuss these topics in a
dedicated forum like this
http://fromlovetofearandback.blogspot.com (http://fromlovetofearandback.blogspot.com)
Best wishes,
Simon
from your true nature that you have great difficulty in loving and accepting this person.
Imagine gradually losing your connection to your original true self, and thus winding up
as a prisoner in an almost loveless personality.
Imagine how your inner sense of security gradually fades away along with your self-love
and self-acceptance. Ordinary worries and uncertainties grow and turn into fears.
Fear becomes the dominant factor in all your choices, thereby integrating itself
into every aspect of your life.
Imagine reversing the process, peeling off your cultural adaption layer by layer,
even if it means dropping the gender role that you have been playing for so long.
Imagine uncovering your natural true self, and discovering that it is still just as lovable
as the day you were born, and that your natural inner sense of security is still there.
I am not yet a very good example of reversing the process and regaining my self-love,
self acceptance and inner sense of security, but I have made clear progress.
I have written a very personal blog describing my own process, hoping that other people
may benefit from my experience, and my personal interpretation of this experience.
Writing this blog is probably the most meaningful thing that I have ever done.
The blog itself is not open to comments - I prefer to discuss these topics in a
dedicated forum like this
http://fromlovetofearandback.blogspot.com (http://fromlovetofearandback.blogspot.com)
Best wishes,
Simon
Title: Re: On Love, Fear, and being true to your own nature.
Post by: Emerald on March 06, 2016, 09:09:44 AM
Post by: Emerald on March 06, 2016, 09:09:44 AM
Hi Simon, welcome. :)
I read your blog. You write exceptionally well.
What would you like to talk about? Gender?
What's on your mind today?
I read your blog. You write exceptionally well.
What would you like to talk about? Gender?
What's on your mind today?
Title: Re: On Love, Fear, and being true to your own nature.
Post by: Satinjoy on March 06, 2016, 12:55:23 PM
Post by: Satinjoy on March 06, 2016, 12:55:23 PM
You have much to give my dear....
Title: Re: On Love, Fear, and being true to your own nature.
Post by: Ayla on March 06, 2016, 01:48:52 PM
Post by: Ayla on March 06, 2016, 01:48:52 PM
Simon
Your blog is raw and honest. Love, self acceptance and fear do go hand in hand. Splitting one self, ignoring part of your truth is unloving and is often driven by fear. In my case it was fear of being my true self. Finding myself after many years of stress, self loathing and fear also allowed me to leave my head and move into my heart and ground myself more fully as a person.
We each tread different paths but there was enough shared experience to recognise and to welcome a fellow traveller on a similar journey. Thank you for sharing.
Safe travels
Isla
Your blog is raw and honest. Love, self acceptance and fear do go hand in hand. Splitting one self, ignoring part of your truth is unloving and is often driven by fear. In my case it was fear of being my true self. Finding myself after many years of stress, self loathing and fear also allowed me to leave my head and move into my heart and ground myself more fully as a person.
We each tread different paths but there was enough shared experience to recognise and to welcome a fellow traveller on a similar journey. Thank you for sharing.
Safe travels
Isla
Title: Re: On Love, Fear, and being true to your own nature.
Post by: Jacqueline on March 07, 2016, 11:11:59 AM
Post by: Jacqueline on March 07, 2016, 11:11:59 AM
Simon,
Welcome to Susan's. This is a very supportive place. I really enjoyed your first post. You are a very good writer.
If I could take a moment to point out some helpful links. If you have not had a chance to read them yet, please do so.
Welcome again. Look around, ask questions, and join in some group fun. I wish you love, self acceptance and a smooth path.
With warmth,
Joanna
PS I am not a great example of pealing back yet, myself.
Welcome to Susan's. This is a very supportive place. I really enjoyed your first post. You are a very good writer.
If I could take a moment to point out some helpful links. If you have not had a chance to read them yet, please do so.
Things that you should read
Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html) | Standard Terms & Definitions (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,54369.0.html) | Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar) (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,114.0.html.) |
Reputation rules (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,18960.0.html) | News posting & quoting guidelines (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,174951.0.html) | Photo, avatars, & signature images policy (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,59974.msg383866.html#msg383866) |
Welcome again. Look around, ask questions, and join in some group fun. I wish you love, self acceptance and a smooth path.
With warmth,
Joanna
PS I am not a great example of pealing back yet, myself.
Title: Re: On Love, Fear, and being true to your own nature.
Post by: Simon T on March 07, 2016, 03:36:31 PM
Post by: Simon T on March 07, 2016, 03:36:31 PM
Thank you all for a very nice response.
I finished the blog over a year ago, but it is only now that I feel I have come far enough
in my own process that I can call attention to the blog with a fair degree of credibility.
I am well on my way to becoming a living example of what I write.
My appearance is quickly becoming a direct reflection of my true inner self, and I must
admit that it takes quite a bit of courage to let that happen. It will soon be obvious to
everyone that I don´t belong in any of the two traditional gender groups.
The gender role is a very central part of our cultural adaption.
Stepping out of the gender role takes courage. Questioning our entire cultural adaption
and seeing the price that we are paying for it takes even more courage.
I would like to inspire people to find this courage in themselves.
This is the most meaningful task that I have ever taken upon myself.
Simon(e)
I finished the blog over a year ago, but it is only now that I feel I have come far enough
in my own process that I can call attention to the blog with a fair degree of credibility.
I am well on my way to becoming a living example of what I write.
My appearance is quickly becoming a direct reflection of my true inner self, and I must
admit that it takes quite a bit of courage to let that happen. It will soon be obvious to
everyone that I don´t belong in any of the two traditional gender groups.
The gender role is a very central part of our cultural adaption.
Stepping out of the gender role takes courage. Questioning our entire cultural adaption
and seeing the price that we are paying for it takes even more courage.
I would like to inspire people to find this courage in themselves.
This is the most meaningful task that I have ever taken upon myself.
Simon(e)
Title: Re: On Love, Fear, and being true to your own nature.
Post by: Ayla on March 07, 2016, 08:06:01 PM
Post by: Ayla on March 07, 2016, 08:06:01 PM
Simon(e)
The more visible that non binaries are, the better. Whether it is a destination or a way station, non binary expression and identity do challenge the casual observer. Those that have never thought or sensed outside of the binary do react. But when they get to know us and start to see us as individuals and not as oddities then it is better for all of us.
My sense of identity crystallised quite quickly but my expression has taken a while to fall in to place. The non binary experience has proved confusing to me at times, but the journey has brought a freedom, a lightness and an authenticity that I had not thought attainable.
Please keep blogging it helps us all.
Safe travels
Isla
The more visible that non binaries are, the better. Whether it is a destination or a way station, non binary expression and identity do challenge the casual observer. Those that have never thought or sensed outside of the binary do react. But when they get to know us and start to see us as individuals and not as oddities then it is better for all of us.
My sense of identity crystallised quite quickly but my expression has taken a while to fall in to place. The non binary experience has proved confusing to me at times, but the journey has brought a freedom, a lightness and an authenticity that I had not thought attainable.
Please keep blogging it helps us all.
Safe travels
Isla
Title: Re: On Love, Fear, and being true to your own nature.
Post by: Tessa James on March 08, 2016, 03:08:16 PM
Post by: Tessa James on March 08, 2016, 03:08:16 PM
A good read and a revealing blog Simon(e). Welcome aboard.
Title: Re: On Love, Fear, and being true to your own nature.
Post by: Simon T on March 10, 2016, 03:13:00 PM
Post by: Simon T on March 10, 2016, 03:13:00 PM
Tessa,
Glad you liked the blog, and yes it is rather revealing.
I don´t plan on staying anonymous, but I´m not quite ready to go public yet.
I need to be able to stand firm in stormy weather.
When fully embracing my natural individuality I no longer have any chance of
melting into the woodwork. Travelling through life incognito just seems so tragic.
Simon(e)
Glad you liked the blog, and yes it is rather revealing.
I don´t plan on staying anonymous, but I´m not quite ready to go public yet.
I need to be able to stand firm in stormy weather.
When fully embracing my natural individuality I no longer have any chance of
melting into the woodwork. Travelling through life incognito just seems so tragic.
Simon(e)