Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I am in the middle of many new discovered questions with SRS only two weeks behind me. Instead of making a new thread with every question, I think it might be better to just ask them all in here :P.

Like.. Wound fluid keeps going. Day in, day out. How long is this an usual thing? I wear a sanitary napkin, I think is what you call it in English. Even so whenever I lay in bed, sit on a sofa or lean on clothes.. I make a mess. How long can I expect this?

Second! In America I notice many buy their own dilators. In the Netherlands you pay a certain amount and receive these:
https://www.wellnessproducts.ch/bilder/3541.jpg

I like these. The handle at the bottom makes it easier for inserting.. Minus point is that yunstart with the third biggest and they advice you to use this till you are further in your recovery. Now I can feel with this dilator I am not at my max depth. No idea what my max depth is but I do know that right now it can only shrink .. Which I rather it doesn't :/.

Can someone please give me an url where you can buy a set from small to big but where the length of them is longer? Also.. My boyfriend is bigger than this biggest one. He is familiar with not fitting into a girl completely. But the width is adjustable right?

Last question (for now :p)! After dilating your vagina is quite the gap. This doesn't stay this way forever right? An usual vagina isn't always wide open either.. O.o?

Thank you!

The drip can last a month or two and I would wear the heaviest pad I could find and expect to change to or three times a day.

I bought my dilator in a Adult book store but they don't do it that way any longer. Some of the ones they currently used can be found here https://www.soulsource.com
When I bought my dilator, I was told to buy one that was about the same size I was before surgery. If you had a procedure using a graft, you may be able to use a larger dilator. I would suggest that you talk to your doctor about it as this will depend on the the surgery you received.

As for the last question, I am not sure what you are asking but my vagina tends to remain open a little even after many years. What yours will look like, I don't know.

As large as in length or width? There was skin craft used to increase my depth.

The sex toy I purchased had sufficient length but the doctor was talking about width. I had penile inversion surgery so the objective was to maintain a width the same as the one I had before surgery. For me, that was about 1.5 inches or around 38mm. I am not sure if I could take a guy who was much larger.

I use the Soul Source dilators, which are 9 inches long.  Yes, to some degree at least, it is possible to gain width.
This will be limited by the size of the pelvis and the willingness of the muscles to stretch, but I can accommodate the largest Soul Source dilator (38 mm) easily.

I only needed pads for about a month, but I have no idea if that was normal or not...

And the "gaping open" look was mostly during the healing phase; these days (I'm several years post-op) the vagina is closed and covered by my labia unless I spread my legs wide open, and then it looks like what I've seen on cis women.

I found that the biggest I got is 37mm.. I think my bf is about 40mm then. Judging from saying it goes easily I assume that should be possible. Also I wonder.. Now with dilating 2 weeks post up you can barely even press it in. You have to wiggle it inside? Which works for now but on long term, and with sex, is it possible with lube that it jusg slides in also because the real thing is less hard?

Sorry for such personal questions but could maybe someone tell me how the sex goes if prepared with dilation and whether, if you as example can take 35mm with a hard dilator, is it possible to get the same size or slightly bigger penis in or does the dilator always has to be bigger?

And also I been looking but nowhere do I find a dilator of 40mm.. Does anyone know :(?

Quote from: JustOneQuestion on March 06, 2016, 10:30:11 PM
And also I been looking but nowhere do I find a dilator of 40mm.. Does anyone know :(?

Re: What diameter is your largest dilator?
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,202379.msg1804474.html#msg1804474

I found it by typing this into google

    site:susans.org dilator 40 mm

Thanks! My largest one is 37mm. I use a 32mm now. Going to buy one inbetween for the time being because the 32mm does not cover the full depth. Just got to find a good one now >_<. Most dilators look so.. Boring cosmetic.

You should be aware that the larger the dilator, the less the apparent depth will be - some of the vagina is going to stretching *around* it rather than *out* to full depth - so do not expect the next size up from 32mm to show MORE depth.

I am not sure if I understand what you mean?

You mean a larger one will apear as if it goes less deep because it is thicker?

Quote from: JustOneQuestion on March 07, 2016, 03:30:21 PM
You mean a larger one will apear as if it goes less deep because it is thicker?

Well the whole thing might have been a misunderstanding...
you need a dilator which is physically long enough to fit all in.

And yes a thicker dilator might make it appear as there is a bit less depth ... simply because the surface cannot be expanded that fast ... it might be possible after a few dilations there is some kind of stretching effect.
I'd not overdo it  ;)

Some people use bioidentical estrogen cream from a gyn to help soften the tissue ... from time to time ...
otc creams usually do not have enough estrogen content...

and some people reported smell when using premarin ...


*hugs*

Yes, that is exactly what I mean. The thicker the dilator, the less depth it will appear to reach. I get almost an inch less apparent depth with the 38 mm than with the smallest dilator. This is true for cis women too, though; it's basically a law of physics as applied to vaginas. :)  Imagine sticking the dilator in a balloon : the bigger the dilator, the more the balloon will have to stretch around it rather than lengthening, right?

So you can either check your depth with the smallest dilator from time to time, or make a note that the depth you get with the largest should be *consistent* - this is what I do, since if the depth with the largest stays the same, by definition I have not lost depth.

But the basic point is that if you think you'll see more depth with the larger dilator that you just bought, that probably will not happen. Don't panic!

We (Schaff girls) get a set of dilators where the largest one is 210*40mm which is suffcient in most cases.

The inner labia closes immediatly after dilation or having sex. But I did not had a PI. I am not sure how it is if you have a penile inversion.

I needed pads for almost three months. Now I need when after having sex. I get very wet when aroused and I do not like to have a wet slip.

My English goes a bit choppy sometimes.. so once more.. sorry xD if with my 3 the length is about 15 a 16 cm. With the 4 it might become like 12? Can the 4 eventually also reach the 15 again then? Sorry for the many questions about the same subject. I am a bit slow >_<.

After how many weeks or months did you all increase size anyhow? Atm I use one which is 32mm. I want to order one which is also 32, but longer and possible a 35mm as a step in between. Still got a 37mm then .. I just really want to buy the Soul Source dilators. They look so much nicer :P.

And I think my boyfriend is inbetween 40 and 45mm wide and 18cm long so I am a bit nervous wither this can even be pleasurable eventually. At least I warned him I doubt we will be having sex anytime soon due havong to stretch it first x_x.

I definitely like the Soul Source dilators.

I'm sorry, I don't know how else to explain it, but no, the bigger dilators will never achieve the same depth as the smaller ones. It doesn't mean you lost depth, it just means vaginas work that way. (In other words, if you check your depth with the smaller dilator, you should *still* see the same depth you did before. If the bigger dilator reaches greater depth, the smaller one should also increase in depth proportionally, so that the bigger will always be hitting less deeply.)

Oh like so. I think I understand :p. The main reason why I mentioned a bigger dilator to go deeper is because my number 3 is only about 13cm long. Even when it is completely in and I put pressure in it I do not feel a wall/stop or anything. Maybe it is only a cm I am missing but even so I am going to try and order the Soul Source dilators :D. Even if it is for the biggest part because dilating shouldn't be such a chore so I rather push something happy colorful looking inside me :P.

Kay something completely different tho! A bit weird to even mention. Sure I got some loose stitches healing up and plenty wound fluid.. But not much pain. Mostly discomfort. I still lack a lot of energy and struggle to walk for very long. I lay down a lot, and get up every now and then tk stay active. One mystery although.. Is that my bum hurts me the most. As if the skin is slightly irritated on my bum, but you do not see anything. Might be as simple as that I sit too much, is that the case or does anyone recognize this? Tis a bit weird I guess but I will just trow everything out in this thread xD.

Also thank you Lara ^^ I will look forward for able to get rid of the constant pad wearing then around 3 months :D!

Oh! I'm so sorry - you're right, the confusion was on my end. :) Well, the 9" Soul Source dilators ought to be enough for you to use. And they are both cheerfully colored and really comfortable to hold, plus I like the gently curved tip (I think it's easier to get inside).

I had the "no pain but constant fatigue," too, for months.

The soul source ones are good, I used the unequal length ones similar to yours, they are not a good idea for SRS, they are really designed for vaginismus.

My bf is also large, I waited a long time to try sex because of this. We tried and it just didn't work. He is at least 50mm. My 38mm mr orange soul source looks tiny next to him. Very stressed at the thought I might not ever be able to have intercourse with him.  :icon_sad:

Well those kinda messages do not much good :/

I seen dilators up to 50mm tho.. they look very boring but isn't it an idea to go further than the 38mm you got? I think I am going to try to 45mm or so. Like.. I can at least try o.o..?

Quote from: Serenation on March 08, 2016, 04:48:27 AM
The soul source ones are good, I used the unequal length ones similar to yours, they are not a good idea for SRS, they are really designed for vaginismus.

My bf is also large, I waited a long time to try sex because of this. We tried and it just didn't work. He is at least 50mm. My 38mm mr orange soul source looks tiny next to him. Very stressed at the thought I might not ever be able to have intercourse with him.  :icon_sad:

On the link on the other side are large dilators.
You might work up to them ... be careful then ... don't overdo it ...

Another possibility might be anal ... there are very pleasurable spots there, at the right angle ...

or simply rubbing on the outside ... if a partner is large ...
using coconut oil as lube might be an idea, it does not dry up as fast ... use non latex condoms then ...


*hugs*

I do wonder though. If you use a dilator of 32mm I understand you can use bigger flexible material toys, or penisses. But how much bigger? A toy of 40mm? Or..? Abou how much does a more flexible material shrink plus that I think the vagina can stretch at least a few mm's more?

Well since a dilator is more sturdy its supposed to have a better effect.

How much seems to be difficult to say.

Some surgeons say to use dilators in any case, some people say after years regular sex is enough for them...

If using toys you might use sturdy ones ... not all soft ... there are some with kind of a solid core ...
and use condoms if they are not made of safe silicone or safe hard plastic ... or glass :)


*hugs*

I more meant it in a sexual kind of way :p. As in.. if you dilate up to 32mm, I heard it is possible to be penetrated by a penis wider than that because a penis is more flexible then those hard and boring dilators :P. But how much do they co operate? As an example can you take someone who is 37mm if you stretched up to 32mm?

Quote from: JustOneQuestion on March 06, 2016, 10:30:11 PM
And also I been looking but nowhere do I find a dilator of 40mm.. Does anyone know :(?

Phoenix surgical or medical supplies has a 40mm one

Quote from: La femme Nikitta on March 09, 2016, 10:43:29 PM
Phoenix surgical or medical supplies has a 40mm one

Well here are sources for dilators:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,205650.msg1826110.html#msg1826110

Quote from: JustOneQuestion on March 09, 2016, 05:57:01 PM
I more meant it in a sexual kind of way :p. As in.. if you dilate up to 32mm, I heard it is possible to be penetrated by a penis wider than that because a penis is more flexible than those hard and boring dilators :P. But how much do they co operate? As an example can you take someone who is 37mm if you stretched up to 32mm?

Well I'd say it depends.
How stretchable is the neovagina ... how hard is the p ...
small differences should not matter that much. And you can take it slow and use enough lube.
Some people dilate for bigger sizes.
I'd say don't overdo it.
And many guys with bigger sizes know already that quite a few ladies can not accomodate.
So rubbing on each other or anal (preferably with condom) might be a possibility.
There are quite a few pleasurable spots that can be stimulated anally, at the right angle.


*hugs*

I rather overdo it than dilating so often without eventually having sex with my bf tho :/.

Quote from: JustOneQuestion on March 10, 2016, 06:28:54 AM
I rather overdo it than dilating so often without eventually having sex with my bf tho :/.

Lol I meant don't overdo size.
If you feel you need to dilate up to a certain size its up to you.
And you'll see how much is necessary ...
you might get one or two sizes in between ... and see whats necessary ...


*hugs*

In terms of dilator size and penises, if you can comfortably dilate with the largest stent in your set, in practice you should be able to fit in penises bigger than the dilator (particularly for width). A dilator is completely hard like acrylic type material, whereas a penis has more spongy tissue. It's easier to have actual intercourse than dilate with the largest stents in my opinion.

The trans vagina does gape a bit following dilation/sex but it goes back to normal. In my opinion, the gaping entry is normal for a trans vagina, as it has some minor differences to a cis vagina. You can always have the commissure surgery done at the top and bottom of the labia to get the oval textbook vagina look.

Quote from: jade on March 10, 2016, 10:32:56 AM
In terms of dilator size and penises, if you can comfortably dilate with the largest stent in your set, in practice you should be able to fit in penises bigger than the dilator (particularly for width). A dilator is completely hard like acrylic type material, whereas a penis has more spongy tissue. It's easier to have actual intercourse than dilate with the largest stents in my opinion.

The trans vagina does gape a bit following dilation/sex but it goes back to normal. In my opinion, the gaping entry is normal for a trans vagina, as it has some minor differences to a cis vagina. You can always have the commissure surgery done at the top and bottom of the labia to get the oval textbook vagina look.

There also seem to be differences in variation...
asian vaginas seem to have more of a hole appearance so surgeons from thailand might not mind that much ...
maybe its possible to talk to them about it ...


*hugs*

Yes, I am a Thailand veteran and I do agree with you on the appearance lol...I have met 5 Thai SRS surgeons in person and they all seem to do what they want...Thailand vaginas typically have large outer labia and the vagina has more of a bulky "U" or crab claw shape...I must say I do prefer the aesthetics of the work from North America (particularly Dr. Bowers and Dr. Reed's work) over Thailand.

Quote from: jade on March 10, 2016, 10:44:21 AM
Yes, I am a Thailand veteran and I do agree with you on the appearance lol...I have met 5 Thai SRS surgeons in person and they all seem to do what they want...Thailand vaginas typically have large outer labia and the vagina has more of a "U" or crab claw shape...I must say I do prefer the aesthetics of the work from North America (particularly Dr. Bowers and Dr. Reed's work) over Thailand.

Well the north american surgeons prefer the tidy rim look ...
the thai surgeons usually create more generous labia ...

but its also a matter of process...
the north american surgeons are more used to circumsized clients ...
this might be simply one reason to not use too much tissue on outer appearance ...

well it might be possible to talk to surgeons, and ask what realistically can be expected, considering own wishes ...

and yes there are quite a few people who say some surgeons may not be too much deviating from their view  :)


*hugs*

After how long would you go to a bigger dilator amyway? At the moment I feel lime there is not much point to it.. Because the gap is fighting to shrink and I just keep open. Basically, atm it feels like I am dilating to keep the gap, not to increase the width.

I really cannot wait to go bigger. Three weeks post op and it never hurted. Yesterday I realised certain movements gave a pleasureable feeling.. Now I want more :P. But I do not want to damage anything either.

Thank you all formall the answers already by the way! Much appreciated ^^!

Well many surgeons say to wait at least three months until intercourse ...
some say it depends on individual healing ...

well there should be instructions when to use which dilator size ...
you might ask if you can go up one size or two ...

just ask your surgeon I'd say  :)


*hugs*

I never used a dilator, my srs was in 1988. My surgeon at the time said that intercourse would keep it open and functioning, which did keep it dilated and never a problem.  My revisions in 2013 to allow easier vaginal access by Dr Bowers said my pelvis had stability and therefore the reason i never had to dilate all these years. Has anyone else experienced not needing to ever dilate. I have researched that majority of women must dilate their vagina indefinitely?

I haven't dilated in years. Still deep enough and open. :)

There may be surgeries that the need for dilation is less but I have never been sexually active so something needed to keep me open in the early days. I went about 10 years without dilation and when I returned, things were a bit sore at first but I am back to normal size now. I was a PI surgery and I haven't heard of anyone with that type of surgery not requiring dilation in the early stages.

Indeed, in the first few years, I dilated as instructed.

Also me together with a hospital transgirl buddy both feel as if our urethra stretches a bit while dilating.. which I guess is normal due its position.. but does this feeling stay forever or do you feel it now because all is still healing?