Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Male to female transsexual talk (MTF) => Topic started by: Keri on March 07, 2016, 03:58:49 AM Return to Full Version

Title: Transition complete ...........?
Post by: Keri on March 07, 2016, 03:58:49 AM
Well almost complete.. 
I had SRS February 20th and flying home in a week. Never any pain at all.. It was a cake walk. 
Got a Catheter out today.. My biggest fear.. Peeing was no big thang at all... I kind of like it.
I smiled sitting there free handed.. That surprised me.. A reaction I did not think about.

I am about 26 months out from the start.

I have been very lucky with all surgeries.. Very lucky indeed.

I am in Thailand.  I went out shopping today for the first time without a catheter.. No problems.

Celebrated with some chocolate.. Yum.... Ate at a KFC lol.

So now what?

Well really there is so much more to do.. Mostly get on with my life..

Time to do some important things.. No time to waste at my age...

I want to learn how to sing... So that will go with my voice lessons even though my voice is getting better all the time.

Time to start working out harder.. Time to go back to school this fall ..taking communications.

I have a Business Degree but want to get into a different profession..

So, I don't care if your 80.... Dream on.. Move on... I will not stop living until my heart quits beating and then I know there is more in store for me after that.

Transition.. Not for the faint of heart.. You have to be ready to accept losses.. To see gains.

I have met people who did not go through the standard of care and went and had surgery.. SRS surgery.. And I just shake my head..

Without the standards of care process I would not be able to handle the emotions of transition.  So many regrets at times.. So many losses.. So many looks back

But you know what???  If you do proper transition through the standards of care you know the answers .. Sure we get depressed.. But then we have joy... The joy that comes from knowing you did it right.. That you know yourself.. You made the right decision.. Not only for yourself but for others..

There are so many people I owe my life to now.. My family, friends, Susan's and my therapist.. Whom I love and I will still see when I get home for a few months..

There can be post op depression, we need to be ready for it.. Lots of work after that surgery.

So Transitionn Complete... I don't think so.. But the process is winding down..

I am so happy.. My advise to anyone is to know what your getting into when you transition.. Know what you an handle, know yourself.. Dig deep with the help of a qualified therapist.  Transition is not for everyone.. It should be nearly a life or death decision.  Know yourself well.

Sorry those last statements are not totally positive.. But they are true.

Love
Keri
Title: Re: Transition complete ...........?
Post by: Maybebaby56 on March 07, 2016, 05:24:52 AM
Dearest Keri,

What a wonderful message to start my day with.  I am so happy for you! 

Quote from: Keri - formerly known as Dodie on March 07, 2016, 03:58:49 AM
My advise to anyone is to know what your getting into when you transition.. Know what you an handle, know yourself.. Dig deep with the help of a qualified therapist.  Transition is not for everyone.. It should be nearly a life or death decision.  Know yourself well.
Keri

Wise words. I don't know if anyone can fully realize what transition entails until you start getting into it.  I decided to transition about two years ago.  I gave myself permission fail, if it got too much, if the price was too high.  Let's just say I am still in negotiation with myself, lol.  I have surprised (and pleased) myself with how I have gotten braver and more sure of myself as things have unfolded.

Another thing that has surprised me was how unacceptable the prospect of not transitioning has become.  I can't see going back. I would feel gutted, bereft of life.  I have never considered myself a member of the transition-or-die club, but, yes, for me it is very much a question of life - or not living. To continue my days as a male would represent a total denial of my spirit and soul.  That's not life.

Quote from: Keri - formerly known as Dodie on March 07, 2016, 03:58:49 AM
But then we have joy... The joy that comes from knowing you did it right.. That you know yourself.. You made the right decision.. Not only for yourself but for others..

This I can only hope.  My biggest fear is hurting my children, my sons.  I pray that they will eventually accept me, and know I never stopped loving them.

Thank you for sharing your journey with us. Please know your words have made a difference, at least to me.

With love and kindness,

Terri


Title: Re: Transition complete ...........?
Post by: stephaniec on March 07, 2016, 08:13:06 AM
congrats
Title: Re: Transition complete ...........?
Post by: Orchid on March 07, 2016, 10:03:52 AM
Congratulations on completing your transition! I think, one day, I'll feel that sense of completion that you feel. Oh my goodness how great would that be! It could come a little faster, though...

(: congrats!
Title: Re: Transition complete ...........?
Post by: AnonyMs on March 07, 2016, 10:54:33 AM
Congrats

Quote from: Keri - formerly known as Dodie on March 07, 2016, 03:58:49 AM
I have met people who did not go through the standard of care and went and had surgery.. SRS surgery.. And I just shake my head..

Without the standards of care process I would not be able to handle the emotions of transition.  So many regrets at times.. So many losses.. So many looks back

But you know what???  If you do proper transition through the standards of care you know the answers .. Sure we get depressed.. But then we have joy... The joy that comes from knowing you did it right.. That you know yourself.. You made the right decision.. Not only for yourself but for others..

At the risk of derailing your thread, I'm all in favor of this. So many people say you can't do it, or there's no decent surgeons who'll do it. Dr Chett's not the only one, there's also famous non-Thai surgeons that will perform SRS without RLE. Just get your letter.

I've a personal interest in doing this because I don't want to socially transition, but physical dysphoria has been getting to me. I'm not even non-binary, and what are they supposed to do? I'm perfectly sane and rational. If we all stuck to societies expectations none of us would be transitioning in any way.
Title: Re: Transition complete ...........?
Post by: Mariah on March 07, 2016, 11:54:47 AM
I can imagine myself making a post like this in about 7 months and 20 days. Yet that well almost complete hang over mine until hair removal is done. Congrats Keri, I'm so happy for you and what you have accomplished. Hugs
Mariah
Title: Re: Transition complete ...........?
Post by: Jenna Marie on March 07, 2016, 01:39:56 PM
Congrats!!

I may be weird, because I felt that my transition was complete about 2 years before GRS; the surgery was just for me, not for society.
Title: Re: Transition complete ...........?
Post by: Rachel on March 07, 2016, 07:55:53 PM
Congratulations Keri. You definitely are a strong woman and an inspiration.
Title: Re: Transition complete ...........?
Post by: Keri on March 08, 2016, 04:58:53 AM
Wonderful responses.. For me.. To make it clear transition meant the end goal of the SRS surgery.
Muah!
Title: Re: Transition complete ...........?
Post by: Keri on March 08, 2016, 05:07:44 AM
Quote from: AnonyMs on March 07, 2016, 10:54:33 AM
Congrats

At the risk of derailing your thread, I'm all in favor of this. So many people say you can't do it, or there's no decent surgeons who'll do it. Dr Chett's not the only one, there's also famous non-Thai surgeons that will perform SRS without RLE. Just get your letter.

I've a personal interest in doing this because I don't want to socially transition, but physical dysphoria has been getting to me. I'm not even non-binary, and what are they supposed to do? I'm perfectly sane and rational. If we all stuck to societies expectations none of us would be
transitioning in any way.



I don't have an answer for you. But without standards of care no one would take us seriously. The medical community has recognized our condition as a diagnosable treatable condition under standards of care.

If for you getting the surgery is important by all means do it.. But your just one person... The standards of care are there to protect the process for people like me and thousands of others ..

For example, the young that are lucky enough to know this is right for them and have a path paved for them and their family.

Standards of care are not perfect.. But there to help me.. And they did.

Love
Keri
Title: Re: Transition complete ...........?
Post by: AnonyMs on March 08, 2016, 01:27:22 PM
Quote from: Keri - formerly known as Dodie on March 08, 2016, 05:07:44 AM
I don't have an answer for you. But without standards of care no one would take us seriously. The medical community has recognized our condition as a diagnosable treatable condition under standards of care.

If for you getting the surgery is important by all means do it.. But your just one person... The standards of care are there to protect the process for people like me and thousands of others ..

For example, the young that are lucky enough to know this is right for them and have a path paved for them and their family.

Standards of care are not perfect.. But there to help me.. And they did.

Probably best not to go back over old discussions so I'll just focus on the new bit. As we see the SOC is not a law and no one has to follow it. I know of a number of well known surgeons who work this way.

There's a belief in the trans community that you must do this or that, but I've found the actual practice is quite different. At least some medical professionals are very accepting of the entire spectrum of our needs. More so in fact than many of us. People are taking us seriously regardless of the SOC.

I think of the SOC more as a minimum standard of treatment, but I think it would be better if it wasn't so restrictive. I expect in time the SOC will be more accepting of variance, as it has been changing over the years.

I'm not concerned personally. I'm more than capable of doing whatever I want. My interest is more a hangover from the early days when it worried me greatly. If only I'd known then what I know now I could have save myself a lot of stress.

Title: Re: Transition complete ...........?
Post by: Keri on March 08, 2016, 09:12:13 PM
Quote from: AnonyMs on March 08, 2016, 01:27:22 PM
Probably best not to go back over old discussions so I'll just focus on the new bit. As we see the SOC is not a law and no one has to follow it. I know of a number of well known surgeons who work this way.

There's a belief in the trans community that you must do this or that, but I've found the actual practice is quite different. At least some medical professionals are very accepting of the entire spectrum of our needs. More so in fact than many of us. People are taking us seriously regardless of the SOC.


I think of the SOC more as a minimum standard of treatment, but I think it would be better if it wasn't so restrictive. I expect in time the SOC will be more accepting of variance, as it has been changing over the years.

I'm not concerned personally. I'm more than capable of doing whatever I want. My interest is more a hangover from the early days when it worried me greatly. If only I'd known then what I know now I could have save myself a lot of stress.


Hi .. I agree with you.. We all deserve to be happy and non of us are the same.. Thank God or life would be so boring.. So we do agree on more than we disagree on that is for sure.  No one persons life puzzle when put together fits the same..

And really it's non of my business or anyone else's business what makes one person happy.. Like in the LGBT community.. We all deserve to life our lives.

It is evident you know yourself well and know what you want and I support that fully ..

Who would I be to stand in the way... I would be just like those who try to take our freedoms away.
You made such a good point and I have learned from it.. If I am going to help anyone in the future lessons are valuable and I have learned to have humility..
Love
Keri and wishing you all the happiness life can possibly bring you and your loved ones.