Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I live in the San Francisco Bay Area and I'm not sure who could help me learn?

Well, it's not brain surgery. You go to the store. You pick up something you like.  You take it to the dressing room and try it on. If it fits you buy it. Glad I could help. Perhaps your personal anxieties are making this more complicated than it is. Try to look at the situation as simply what it is.

but how do I know where to even start with choosing?

Well you have a few options :
-you can buy used on the internet . Looking from a cozy place at home can be fun ...
there might be shops dealing with used clothing where its easy to return if it does not fit.
It might be possible to order a few nice items in one package.

-buying in second hand stores.
Clothing is often not even sorted by gender there.
So maybe beginning with a few nice pants and a few nice sweaters ...
a skirt of medium length...
and maybe a dress of medium length ...
during hrt its possible size changes so buying used might be a good idea ...

-buying on the internet

And you might look for support groups in your place.
Its well possible there are a few trangender people who go shopping together.


And you might start by looking at a few sizes tables...
https://www.susans.org/wiki/index.php/Clothing_Sizes


*hugs*

Quote from: blossom on March 11, 2016, 03:53:37 PM
but how do I know where to even start with choosing?

What do you mean?
Have you ever shopped for men's clothes?
It works the same way.
You see something you like, you try it on and see how it fits and looks.
If you feel uncomfortable trying it on in the store, shop at a place with an easy return policy and try it out at it home.

if you are really struggling, just find some people you like the look of, celebs, or fictional characters. Just dress like that. That's how you start, gets more advanced when you have to take into account of dressing for your body shape, age and complexion

One good idea with things like this is to only concentrate on one type of thing at a time-- rather than trying to do it all at once. Maybe learn all about bras, then shop for them, find out your size and what you like. After you've got bras down, advance to some other clothing item. Eventually you'll have it all down.

This method works especially well with makeup, too. Rather than trying to get everything and do your entire face right at once, start with, say, foundation and a beard cover. Practice and try products until you're doing it satisfactorily. After that, move on to, say, eyebrow pencils. Work you way through these things gradually.

  You can look at what women that are your age are wearing.

   You could try bootcut jeans, they flatter most body types. You would probably want to get them from the misses or junior section as you can find styles that the hips are not as curvy as women's jeans.

You might also buy from some place that has a catalog, like Roaman's or FullBeauty (they focus on larger sizes, which is VERY important to me), and then you'll start getting so many catalogs you won't know what to do with them! That may give you ideas on putting outfits together, and keeps a steady supply of new things coming constantly. 

Laura, my head is spinning at all those sizing charts.  :o Where do I begin?

Quote from: blossom on March 13, 2016, 06:06:38 PM
Laura, my head is spinning at all those sizing charts.  :o Where do I begin?

You could use this:
http://www.womenssizechart.com/

and simply start with the first table.

You might look for your size, and then look for a nice pair of trousers and a nice sweater.
Maybe in black and a bit of a flowing style, so you might wear it in guy or girl mode.

*hugs*

but laura, i have a flat man chest and a big stomach, all those sizes assuming large hips and breasts if your stomach is big :( whatever will I do :(

Quote from: blossom on March 18, 2016, 05:56:04 PM
but laura, i have a flat man chest and a big stomach, all those sizes assuming large hips and breasts if your stomach is big whatever will I do

Just give it a try.
Sweaters should fit in any case.
Trousers are available in different lengths and in many different styles.

If in doubt you might visit a second hand store and try on a few clothes, to get aquainted with sizes and fits.


*hugs*

Quote from: blossom on March 18, 2016, 05:56:04 PM
but laura, i have a flat man chest and a big stomach, all those sizes assuming large hips and breasts if your stomach is big :( whatever will I do :(

I had that too when I started, but it's doable. Get yourself a tailoring tape measure (the flexible kind) and get to measuring. Inseam, outseam, hips, waist, chest. With that you can find a baseline using the sizing charts. A pair of pants, a shirt, some underwear, and a bra. Then after trying them on, adjust the size until you get it right (it will probably be a little off). You can branch out from there. Some crossdresser clothing sites also have sizing charts that convert from mens sizes to womens. I used that myself. There are lots of shoe sizing charts online that have male and female sizes side by side, so you could use that for the first pair of shoes.

It's going to take a little time to figure out if you're not willing to use dressing rooms. There's really no rime or reason to some of the sizes. For instance my daughter wears a 14 and so do I. She's not even a teenager yet. They kind of go up then hit a different age bracket and start back at 0.

Once you get your initial outfit together, I'd watch some fashion shows on tv or the net. There are little tricks women use to enhance their good features and hide their bad ones. You'll want to learn that too for picking out clothing that works with your body best. I get stuff that flairs out in spots that I feel my body is too narrow in, like hips and chest. Color and stripes make a difference too. I use layering to help hide my stomach and take the focus off it.

muchas gracias!

Quote from: blossom on March 19, 2016, 04:51:17 PM
muchas gracias!

De nada ;)


*hugs*

Your so awesome laura ;p

All I do these days is look at women on the street or at work and only see what they are wearing! lol. I'm still a mtf lesbian, but I am so starved for the clothes and things I want that it's all I see. If you are sexually interested in women, perhaps you are conflating your interest in them in a romantic way and your interest in, as I say, being them!

I feel that is an interesting and potentially common issue among mtf lesbians like myself.

Id just try on a cute dress and look at your body in the mirror. You might be surprised how it feels/looks. Best of luck! <3

Quote from: blossom on March 13, 2016, 06:06:38 PM
Laura, my head is spinning at all those sizing charts.  :o Where do I begin?

The dirty little secret of women's clothing sizes is that the actual size and the size number don't have much to do with one another.  Back when I was married, my wife had some items that were size 20 and others that were size 12.  That's why you have to try stuff on.  If you buy from catalogs, you make sure they have a decent return policy.

I mostly buy from catalogs since I don't like most of what's in the local department stores.  Every women's clothing catalog or website I've seen has size charts.  When I've wanted additional information, I've called customer service.  If they're a decent on-line clothing merchant, they'll have someone who can look up things like hem lengths, sleeve lengths, neck sizes, etc.  (And if they don't, I don't want to do business with them.)

One other secret to buying women's clothes: only buy stuff you really like.  Don't buy stuff you think other people like to wear.  Or what you think other people expect you to wear.

The point of shopping is to go through the millions of "latest fashions" until you find something that calls to you and says, "wear me!  You know you want to!"  Then you try it on.  If it fits, and you like how it looks on you (and you can afford it!!) you buy it.

That's one reason women spend so much time shopping: 99% of what they see isn't to their taste, or won't look good on them.  It's like panning for gold.

Also, if you're just starting, don't worry about whether you'd have the courage to wear it out in public.

For one thing, the point is to hone your sense of style, so eventually you can tell what you like and what you don't.  (And what works on you -- that is, what makes you look the way you want to look -- and what doesn't.)

For another, just because you don't have the guts to wear that bright red spandex micro-mini outside your bedroom today doesn't mean you won't be dying to flaunt it a year from now down at your local watering hole or that upscale mall.  Tastes change with practice.  (Mine have, a lot.)

Yeah I'm going to second what was said about women's clothing sizes being odd; I might wear a 10 in a vest, but a 14 or 16 in button down shirts on account of my shoulders. It's worth trying stuff on if you can, but if not you could always order more than one size if you're unsure and then return any that don't fit. I've personally found it intimidating to try on men's clothing in store, but finding out what size shorts (or whatever item of clothing) I need in a particular shop is very valuable and usually then means I am able to order clothing from them online (in the comfort of my home!), now knowing what size should fit.

Measures around your chest that will tell you what size of bra to buy,and you need to decide cup size that depends on what size are your breast forms

Thank you again everyone, but Asche, why did you pick that avatar of Oscar the grouch?

I had very similar anxieties when I first started buying women's clothes because it seemed like a completely foreign world to me and a couple of the outfits I bought at first I absolutely hate now, but if you just try different things and pick what you think you look good in you'll slowly start to figure out your style. Also if you can find a close female friend to go shopping with you whose opinion you trust then that might help you get the ball rolling as well since that is what I did.

Oh simplythea, what I'd do for a close female friend :'(

I also suggest double checking to make sure that if you order online from ebay or the like that you verify the measurement. I ordered what was listed as a size 18 slacks and when they got here they were an 18 alright. !8" waist laid flat.

I've also had tops vary slightly inside labels. This is something that even Cis girls deal with though. Trial and error and try it on when you can.

Quote from: blossom on March 26, 2016, 03:57:20 PM
... Asche, why did you pick that avatar of Oscar the grouch?

Because I feel like I'm so disagreeable and negative a lot of the time.  It sort of says, "yeah, I know what I wrote was kind of negative, but what can you expect from a grouch like me?"

You poor girl. Find a girlfriend & go thrift store shopping!!! Have fun, enjoy the colors & styles that you like, try on lots of things, dresses, blouses...shoes.....Shopping is such fun. I'm going thrift store shopping today.

I agree that you should wear what you like. But I think you're looking for more advice than that. Like what's your color? How do you dress for your body type?

Finding your color is really complicated. Cool toned means cool colors like blue, green. And warm meaning warm colors like red, orange, etc. You can be both too. But check to see if the colors make you glow, or make you look drained.

1. Check Your Veins
Push your sleeves up right now and look at the veins on the inside of your wrist.  Are they blue or green? If they look more blue, you likely have cool undertones. If the veins look greenish, you're warm. It's worth noting, warm girls, that you're veins aren't actually green—they look it because you're seeing them through yellow-toned skin (yellow + blue = green.)

2. Eye and Hair Color.
Your natural eye and hair colors can help figure out your coloring. Customarily, cool people have eyes that are blue, gray, or green and have blond, brown, or black hair with blue, silver, violet and ash undertones. Conversely, warm-toned women usually have brown, amber, or hazel eyes with strawberry blond, red, brown, or black hair. Their hair tends to have gold, red, orange, or yellow undertones.


As for your body type, there are several.

The triangle, hips wider than your shoulders

Wide necked shirts like ones that hang off your  shoulders are the way to go. they widen your shoulders. Poofy skirts and tight fitting jeans or skirts will emphasize your hips.

The inverted triangle, shoulders wider than your hips.

Most trans women fall under this category. Avoid wide necked shirts, horizontal stripes, poofy sleeves, or any sort of decoration like frills around the neckline and shoulders. These will make your top look wider. try shirts that hug your neck or are sleeveless paired with a poofy skirt (a circle skirt or something to add volume to your hips).

hourglass, shoulders, breasts, and hips equal in ratio with a smaller defined waist,

this is considered the ideal body type.

boyish/box, shoulders and hips of equal ratio with a less defined waistline and usually smaller chested.

Also considered an ideal body type. This is by far the easiest body type to dress. You want to avoid anything that hugs your figure too much because it will show your lack of figure. Poofy skirts, shirts with frills, those will add volume to the places you need or want them. Empire dresses are really the way to go with this body type. (tight around the bust and then falls without hugging your body). These give you a feminine appeal that hides your lack of a waist. I think empire dresses are adorable. They just look so cute and innocent to me even without sleeves.

The apple, wider waist than hips or shoulders.

This is the hardest to dress.

First of all, since a lot of attention is going to be drawn to the top part of your body, get yourself a good fitting bra.
Tops that highlight your body at the slimmest point which is often just underneath your bust. They should have enough space for your belly but not be too wide. Buy t-shirts that are ruched in the middle. This will confuse the eye and you can't tell that there's a big tummy underneath. Get Tops with a V-neck to break up the size of your chest and create a vertical line. Look for tops with a thicker texture that don't cling so much. Woven tops can be great.

Get trousers that have zippers at the side to avoid adding extra bumps on the front.
Trousers should be flared or straight and not cling to tummy or thighs unless you are opting to create the long and lean silhouette using vertical lines (see above). Avoid pleats. Also choose jeans that are tailored and  either straight or flared. Trouser jeans are ideal. Pants with a high rise will create a nice silhouette. It's best to get trousers with some stretch for extra comfort and a good fit.

Layer with a long cardigan or a long sleeveless vest. Make sure the top underneath is not too short. Try to have v-neck lines with your long long jumper or tops underneath the layering piece. Longer tops and jackets that skim the body can be worn with leggings or skinny jeans


It's worth mentioning that male body types tend to hold their weight in their shoulders, and feminine body types hold it in their hips, so you want to create as much hip-defining illusions as possible. There are special things designed to give you hips.

If you want to know more about your body type, then just google each of the body type names.

Wow AcesAlex, you really took a lot of time to write that reply. Thank so much to you and everyone else.

yea cool  AcesAlex, thanks for the cool and very informative post  :)

Quote from: blossom on March 07, 2016, 05:13:19 PM
I live in the San Francisco Bay Area and I'm not sure who could help me learn?

I haven't read through all the posts. You live in the Bay Area. How lucky for you! There are many support groups there. It's been a while since I lived there but there was an  ETVC organization in the city. Google: ETVC San Francisco  That should bring up several other groups as well. Go and ask questions. Look what others are wearing and what looks good. ETVC is a crossdresser organization so they will tend to dress nice. Okay, you aren't a cross dresser but you need that exposure. I won't explain why but it may become self evident to you.

There are other organizations in the bay area. Before you spend a lot of money, take advantage of a free (or low cost) resource. You'll find friendly people who are willing to at least provide some advice. Some may know where the best places to shop are.

Good luck,
Cindi

Quote from: blossom on April 01, 2016, 04:08:09 PM
Wow AcesAlex, you really took a lot of time to write that reply. Thank so much to you and everyone else.

I just like fashion. And I'm not gonna let you walk into a store scared and not know what you're doing. I want you to walk in and out of there confident and fabulous.

Just go shopping & less time talking about it. Start with shape wear, panties, bras, jeans, blouses, earrings, shoes.......Have fun. Ask women friends to help you become a nicer girl or woman, most all will help you, go shopping with them.

Quote from: blossom on March 07, 2016, 05:13:19 PM
I live in the San Francisco Bay Area and I'm not sure who could help me learn?

Ebay and amazon have been very helpful to me. Start with something cheap to get how certain sizes fit you. For the most part I am a large to XL. You can also take measurements of you bust(chest), waist, and hips. No one can help you with what type of style you want you have to figure that out yourself. I love camisoles because you can sleep in them and wear them out. I found cute skirts for a dollar on ebay and shorts for dress for a little more. One bit of warning do it slowly if you can because it will add up quickly I spent 80+ dollars on underwear alone and only like 40 dollars maybe less on shirts and skirts. Window shop as well online. it helped my find the style I liked and also made me wish I had 2k dollars to spend.

cindi james, i tried googling that, but there meetings are now in walnut creek.

acesalex, why did you pick that profile picture?

The suggestion I received was to go through some fashion magazines cutting out pictures of what I liked and didn't like.  That will help you to figure out a style fit you.  Make sure it's age appropriate then go to a department store (in the US, the suggestion was either Macy's or Kohl's). 

I have put both guy and girl clothes in a cart and went into the dressing room.  Put the guy clothes back and checked out.  Next time I probably skip the deception since no body cares.

I did have a cashier make a big deal about buying for my wife, her assumption.  I commented to the manager that she should warn clerks to "not bring it up and/or drop it" it's none of their business and it could make the customer nervous.

She was appreciative of the comment and I think she understood my concerns.

Quote from: blossom on April 08, 2016, 05:12:16 PM
acesalex, why did you pick that profile picture?

I drew it. Rain Dove is an androgynous model and is the reason I discovered being non-binary. She's kind of my inspiration.

I'm afraid to go into the girl's section. I wish I had someone to hold my hand and take me there.