Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Hi everyone, I explicitly came out to one of my sisters and discussed my desire to transition. Although she said it's my life and I should do whatever I want that can make me feel happy, she also said a bunch of transphobic things about trans bodies and using rude terms like "cutting off your breasts" (I'm a trans man), or wondering why I can't just live with this body. I said it can't be understood by someone who doesn't go through it. I tried to make her understand that living like this is worse than any long transitioning process. She also used feminine words to describe me, something I didn't really need, and something that would sound hilarious if it wasn't a difficult situation, because NO ONE ever told me I'm feminine (because I'm genuinely not) or "pretty" or "delicate", because objectively speaking I'm not. I'm not the macho type, but I'm not the effeminate type either. And physically I pass most of the time, even if just as a young guy who didn't complete puberty yet (lack of facial hair is a bigger issue than everything else).

So I don't really know how to feel. I'm just crying now, so much I can barely see what I'm writing on the screen. I really don't know why but I felt humiliated despite being told she supports my decision to transition.

I'm sorry that she had that reaction but we can't expect everyone to get us and immediately switch pronouns from the moment we come out to them. It would be awesome if they did but it is a concept that cis people struggle to get their brain around especially since there is so much misinformation out there about trans people. With time, reminders and education she might hopefully become more understanding and supportive.

Quote from: Ms Grace on March 11, 2016, 05:09:17 PM
I'm sorry that she had that reaction but we can't expect everyone to get us and immediately switch pronouns from the moment we come out to them. It would be awesome if they did but it is a concept that cis people struggle to get their brain around especially since there is so much misinformation out there about trans people. With time, reminders and education she might hopefully become more understanding and supportive.

I know, this is why I told her she can't really understand. I don't mean to be disrespectful to cis people because all my cis friends are wonderful and accepting (but they're also much younger than my sister), I just expected her to use a less rude language since she's accepting of LGBT people, but some accepting people still use transphobic terms or rude words and I blame society for that, so you're right, hopefully she'll be more understanding and who knows, maybe she'll go read something about trans people that might help her get more educated on the issues we face, transition, etc.

It's just that it bothers me because I found the courage to do this and this alone should lead a family member to respect me. Also, I expected her to know I'm trans since she's not unaware of us and my gender presentation is male (clothes, hair, etc.), so I don't see how it could be a surprise.

Still, I can't seem to calm down, and the fact I have mental disorders such as depression and anxiety don't help me handle issues.

Talked to her again and she was more supportive than the first time and it seems like she fully understands my discomfort and pain.

She will probably get more educated on trans issues since she now knows she has a family member like that.

I want to come out.I want to come as Transgender I want male who want to be woman
Call that Male to female it is what is but I have issues
I am 33 years and still live with my father
And also I don't live in the city I live in rule
area that is going to make hard for me to get a therapist
My dad is refusing me to get a therapist
So I really need some support

Quote from: Chelsea9673 on April 09, 2016, 04:34:46 PM
I want to come out.I want to come as Transgender I want male who want to be woman
Call that Male to female it is what is but I have issues
I am 33 years and still live with my father
And also I don't live in the city I live in rural
area that is going to make hard for me to get a therapist
My dad is refusing me to get a therapist
So I really need some support

Hello and welcome  :)

This could help you:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,197598.msg1757491.html#msg1757491

Yes if you want to transition to female its called Male to Female MTF.

Just ask if you have more questions ...


also if english is not your first language you can have texts translated to your language here:
https://translate.google.co.nz/


*hugs*