General Discussions => General discussions => ARGHHH! => Topic started by: Midnightstar on March 16, 2016, 09:53:34 PM Return to Full Version
Title: Problems with my mother
Post by: Midnightstar on March 16, 2016, 09:53:34 PM
Post by: Midnightstar on March 16, 2016, 09:53:34 PM
My mother has this new thing where if i'm signing paper work she has to explain to me and remind me i can get my name changed and why certain things are a certain way on the paper work. She does this not for support but because she's been attempting to confirm that i am transgender like i say, iv'e noticed her doing this to make herself feel safer and better about everything or come up with answers that aren't always correct or what she assumes they have to be. I can't stand it and is it wrong it makes me angry? Because i know she is in some weird way trying but in another way iv'e done everything myself and i don't even know half the time what i am doing because i struggle with the understanding of how our society works. And while i'm over here struggling, and getting everything how it's needed an learning everything on my own. She's basically reminding me of the struggle and acting like she knows more when she hasn't even done much research.
I feel overwhelmed with her doing that and sense she likes control and her OCD is horrid, i don't know how to get her to stop D: and i don't want to seem like i am pushing her away either. help?
I feel overwhelmed with her doing that and sense she likes control and her OCD is horrid, i don't know how to get her to stop D: and i don't want to seem like i am pushing her away either. help?
Title: Re: Problems with my mother
Post by: FTMax on March 17, 2016, 10:49:03 AM
Post by: FTMax on March 17, 2016, 10:49:03 AM
Well, a quick fix may be to look up the requirements and cost of a name change where you live and inform her. "I could change my name, but I'll need $300 total to get it updated with the courts and then to change all of the documents that I'd need to pay for. I'd also want to save an extra $200 while my bank account and credit cards are being updated just in case there are any issues."
Sometimes people don't realize that there are costs associated with things because they've either never done them or haven't done them in a long time. My parents didn't understand initially why I had waited so long to start HRT, but when I showed them how much insurance pays towards my lab work, they understood - part of why I had waited was to save $500 on annual labwork, as my old insurance wouldn't have covered anything.
Sometimes people don't realize that there are costs associated with things because they've either never done them or haven't done them in a long time. My parents didn't understand initially why I had waited so long to start HRT, but when I showed them how much insurance pays towards my lab work, they understood - part of why I had waited was to save $500 on annual labwork, as my old insurance wouldn't have covered anything.