Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Im asking this, because the way I feel and how i think is honestly, utterly exhausting and Im becoming unproductive and falling behind in my studies and work is piling up,

It can cause depression, and that can utterly destroy productivity.

Quote from: jaybutterfly on March 22, 2016, 09:54:26 AM
Im asking this, because the way I feel and how i think is honestly, utterly exhausting and Im becoming unproductive and falling behind in my studies and work is piling up,

Yes.

Can you do a few things to keep you motivated ?
Like dressing up and remembering how you felt then ?

And maybe going in a direction you feel you can integrate more of you ... so you have a feeling it goes in the right direction ...


*hugs*

YES absolutely.  The mind wanders, emotions are wild and focus completely scattered.  I say this based on personal experience of being partially responsible for my crashing and burning in a high profile transition within my life long career.  The company and industry I transitioned within actually did give me a chance but I completely blew it.  There might have even been some self sabotage in there as well, but things turned out differently, and possibly, ultimately, better anyway, so no complaints!

Yes!  I came out at school while I was writing up my PhD, and I was unprecedentedly productive.  I'm back in the closet for work, and I've probably lost a day or two over the last few months by silently flipping out.  Soon...

Quote from: AnonyMs on March 22, 2016, 09:56:47 AM
It can cause depression, and that can utterly destroy productivity.

Exactly! This is what happened to me before I started HRT. It also affected my ability to concentrate as well as my short-term memory and comprehension of text. Often whilst reading, my eyes would see the words, yet my brain refused to take any of it in. I could read the same passage several times over, yet have no idea what I just read!

I can speak from experience that I am at SEVERELY depleted capacity in work. In fact, as I type, I am supposed to be doing work and every 10 minutes I almost lose my breath with how sad and messed-up I feel. It's starting to overflow the edges at this point, and I'm, for the first time, wearing my emerald cut diamond engagement ring. I flip it when someone comes too close to my desk.

I usually consider myself pretty sharp, and am an engineer. But the past few weeks especially have been almost insurmountable for me.

I hope you can find ways to pacify while you need and can be yourself as soon as humanly possible.

In fact, I keep day dreaming about telling my bosses that I could do far better if they just made one small concession. And then I go on to tell them that if they allow me to be a woman at work I will increase productivity by 10% lol! Hey, it could work!

To me, I believe that is what dysphoria is.  It distracts you by drawing you towards who you want to become, yet takes you away from the present moment of who you are.  My productivity and focus is sub par to where it really needs to be.  I struggle with this every day.

It totally destroyed mine.

It sure can. I had to do very un-typical things to stay focused and stay on task my entire life and career. Despite this i engineered a successful career.

HRT has helped me become very focused and more productive. Somewhat ironically that has given me more time to spend with family and on freestyle pursuits as well.

In my case it was total distraction.  Productivity - what productivity?  After I came out to myself and a handful of others I couldn't concentrate on anything.  I'm glad we weren't in the middle of a huge project.

It definitely effects my productivity; my concentration and focus is probably the lowest it's ever been at the moment. I space out really often, especially at work. I'm not even thinking anything or daydreaming, I just blank completely. I struggle to focus on television, which has lead to me not having a clue what happened in something that I thought I was 'watching' but clearly wasn't. I have long-running personal art projects that I want to work on, but hardly put in the time because I just get so distracted by everything and nothing.

It's affected me to the point of dropping out of school and quitting work before. So it definitely has a hug impact on my productivity, whether professionally or my own creative hobbies.  In one of my deepest depressions I finally realized that however challenging transition turned out to be, it couldn't be worse than not transitioning. And so far, it hasn't.

As I struggled with transitioning trying to figure how to make it all work it was brutal on the brain did a lot of daydreaming and very little night time sleeping. I work in a wood mill I'm a plainer operator,and I racked my brain over how to be girl in a place like this. My therapist recommend were some make up. I thought yaa wright, but I warmed up to it, but before I did I had a talk with my boss,and told him I'm Transgender,and what ever critzum I bring on I can handle it, but I don't need you to add to it. He says hold up let me tell you about my favorite gay uncle and why he is my favorite it's not for what he is. It's for who he is and the person inside. Then he tells me that it doesn't to me if you're black, white, boy or girl you do a great deal for this company, and that's what matters to me. He even tried to protect me,and wanted to know who gives me a hard time says how make a example out of them. I got ->-bleeped-<- for 2 weeks, but it only made me stronger, and after 2 weeks a employee came up to me and asked if my make up was going to be the new Thang. I was waiting for this moment to come and I had a bunch of pictures of me with my hair curled make up done and sporting meny drees's told him that I'm Transgender, and I told him that it's not a secret and I want you to share what you have learned, and my name is Kulena he then says to me you got it Kulena. Had a few others ask, and I should them pictures of who I em told them that I'm a girl. To my surprise it's so hard to believe how well everyone is excepting me as a girl, and they all started calling me Kulena. Sounds crazy but I love going to work now it's rewarding every day I go people except me for who I em could  not ask for it to go eny better. It's  taking the first steps, but after you do it gets better and you might find what would be impossible you just might find it possible and easier then you thought. I have learned people just might surprise you as in our minds we think of the worst out comes. Kulena