Susan's Place Transgender Resources

It wasn't enough to learn that one of my ancestors on my mother's side used to be a prominent southern general and slave owner (whom had an affair with one of them out of wedlock AND had kids), but one of my other ancestors was a proud geneticist responsible for... I can't believe this... creating the foundation for eugenics study.

I told my mom half joking that this is why our family is cursed like my grandfather used to claim (according to mom). What's weird is that I'm trying so hard to be surprised by this discovery but for some reason I'm just not. I'm just mostly embarrassed.

Like it's one thing if your ancestors were the inventors of pesticides or your related to a mob boss, but part of my family were racists and partially responsible for the damn Holocaust...

I fell like I should be making amends by devoting my life to charity like Mother Teresa or something because that's a really REALLY embarrassing thing to learn about my past... What's the most reliable organizations for donating to holocaust survivors and groups defeating racism?

On my dads side I'm related to 2 famous outlaws,robert e. Lee, and the Cherokee and Choctaw tribes,we even had a preacher somewhere along the line..my moms side we are related to William Brewster and Miles Standish,clemons Iowa was named after one of my great great grandfathers..Im proud of my heritage for my heritage is intertwined in the making of this country we call the United states.

I'd suggest Amnesty International since the work they do is related to current global injustice.

I wouldn't fret to much about your ancestry but it's good to acknowledge the unsavoury family roots and discredit them.

Don't sweat it, KyleEdric!  You bear no guilt for the misdeeds of your ancestors.  We need to take responsibility for our own actions.  We can't change the past even if we wish we could.  Learn the lessons about where your ancestors went wrong and make sure not to repeat those wrongs.  If you can do that, you're on the right track!

Conversely, some people expect credit for virtues of their ancestors who did something good in the past.  That doesn't make any sense either.  We all come into the world new.  Our lives and our legacies are what we ourselves make of them.

You are not responsible for the deeds of others, now or in the past.

Having bad ancestry doesn't make you a bad person anymore then having good ancestry make you a good person. You define the type of person that you are by your actions, you aren't defined by the actions of your forefathers.

Quote from: KyleEdric on March 30, 2016, 09:04:01 AM

I fell like I should be making amends by devoting my life to charity like Mother Teresa or something because that's a really REALLY embarrassing thing to learn about my past... What's the most reliable organizations for donating to holocaust survivors and groups defeating racism?

Its not your past, it is theirs. 
I never understood why people take the blame or seek praise from the actions of their ancestors. We all have our share of villains, heroes and lunatics among our progenitors.  They came before us but they are not us.

That's not to say that acknowledging that you may have indirectly benefited from slavery isn't a good thing tho

I come from a long line of disgraceful people on my mom's side (some... lovely... people) and have just decided to leave it be. We cut off relatives who still believed in the practices mentioned, moved and are happy out. The thing is, these people are just common blood. They are just relatives. They haven't got your brain, your thoughts, your beliefs... Don't let it bother you. End the stream of bad people, just acknowledge it happened and leave it be other than that. Look into activism for the parties involved who are still struggling - as someone mentioned about WWII for example, donate to foundations for Jewish people, Roma, LGBT etc. Even in your own community, it's still a change. Good luck.

KyleEdric the fact that you're concerned about this makes you a far better person than your ancestors.  I would bet they wouldn't be concerned.

Take care,
Paige :)

I have an ancestor who did some messed up things too. For some reason my family kept the fact that I'm part indigenous on my dad's side for years. I didn't find out about me being second-last generation Mohawk until I was 21. I don't know the names or anything about my native ancestors, the people who suffered (and were probably tortured, beaten, raped, put in residential homes, who knows what else) and I feel horrible that they all died in vain. Meanwhile, my family had no problem telling me about my white, french ancestor who came to Canada. He was a voyageur who resorted to cannibalism to get here. And if he was anything like the Europeans who took over North America... I'm assuming he did horrendous things to my Mohawk ancestor.

Quote from: WarGrowlmon1990 on June 24, 2016, 05:34:03 PM
I have an ancestor who did some messed up things too. For some reason my family kept the fact that I'm part indigenous on my dad's side for years. I didn't find out about me being second-last generation Mohawk until I was 21. I don't know the names or anything about my native ancestors, the people who suffered (and were probably tortured, beaten, raped, put in residential homes, who knows what else) and I feel horrible that they all died in vain. Meanwhile, my family had no problem telling me about my white, french ancestor who came to Canada. He was a voyageur who resorted to cannibalism to get here. And if he was anything like the Europeans who took over North America... I'm assuming he did horrendous things to my Mohawk ancestor.

Oh my god, that's awful!

I am not sure why there would be any worry about what long ago ancestry did as it is not at all related to what we are now...unless there is some tradition that causes issue that is carried on currently.  I thought about it years ago as my very near ancestry is from the region around the Balkans and the numerous instances of genocide and atrocity are well known in my family.  Never discussed anything specific, but being a student of history...I know that family had to be connected to something bad.  No way to actually escape it.

So, considering that...have always looked at my ties to three generations ago (as far back as I personally knew any) as academic.

Who you are today, the values YOU hold and share are what are important.

You can't be responsible for things that your ancestors did. You're not your family. It's not your fault what they did because you didn't do it.