Susan's Place Transgender Resources

So a month ago me and my ex girlfriend got back together, we realized that after 4 months that we still had feelings for eachother after me and my previous girlfriend broke so me and my ex are together again. We decided to go prom together this year and ill be honest I asked her if I would get lucky on that night and she said if I get lucky and well lately I been getting dysphoric about it, I mean I have a Peecock and I feel like its to small and not only that but idk it just has me thinking about how its gonna go and if it will still be good with my shirt on and boxers on and I mean she's completely accepting of me so maybe I am just more worried about alittle to much but long story short her uncle is taking our kids for the night and we go from there.

I have serious anxieties about sex, too. I used to be able to take my clothes off and be okay but a partner drew too much attention to the chest tumors (I guess she thought it was funny? :-\) and now I'm scared of them being touched.

I learned the old school lesbian thing of getting a woman off with my mouth and hands. Most women actually get off clitorally and then penetration is a fun bonus, but your gf could be the kind who gets off from intercourse. It's not that I don't want to engage in intercourse, it's that I get anxious about using a blunt object I don't have a ton of control over (using a harness).

I think being calm and relaxed is the most important thing. Also, if she cares about you, then if it turns out your prosthetic is too small for you, you can always pick out a larger one together.

i had anxieties before i had my top surgery and was on T. the girl i was with at the time made sure i was comfortable and never made me feel like crap or dysphoric. she would always reassure me. if someone you're with accepts you, uses the right terminology and there is a ton of communication, it helps. as for being "too small" i wouldn't worry about that tbh. vaginas are only 6 inches deep usually and as people will tell you, it isn't about how big it is but how you use it. there is also other ways to get a woman to be satisfied without penetration. try not to over think it and communicate.

oh and don't put so much pressure on it happening THAT NIGHT. that isn't good for you or her. it will make the whole evening awkward and put too much pressure on you guys. especially if you just got back together, it could cause major issues imo. you will also have issues getting aroused if you're over thinking it and putting pressure on that night. be prepared but also just go with the flow and have fun. you will have plenty of time to have sex.

I get nervous too, and I'm back to wearing a shirt during. i want to relax and enjoy myself, but just hasn't been happening. I miss being intimate with my girlfriend. :(

I left my underwear and binder on until top surgery. After that, underwear stayed on until I started dating my current partner. Everyone I've dated has been very understanding of my needs and potential discomfort.

Just have fun and try not to worry about it too much.

Quote from: AnxietyDisord3r on April 13, 2016, 04:13:11 AM
I have serious anxieties about sex, too. I used to be able to take my clothes off and be okay but a partner drew too much attention to the chest tumors (I guess she thought it was funny? :-\) and now I'm scared of them being touched.

I learned the old school lesbian thing of getting a woman off with my mouth and hands. Most women actually get off clitorally and then penetration is a fun bonus, but your gf could be the kind who gets off from intercourse. It's not that I don't want to engage in intercourse, it's that I get anxious about using a blunt object I don't have a ton of control over (using a harness).

I think being calm and relaxed is the most important thing. Also, if she cares about you, then if it turns out your prosthetic is too small for you, you can always pick out a larger one together.

She's not a huge size freak she's been with past exes who were smaller than me but I think it matters to me more tbh she's more of the its not how big you are its how you use it type of girls.

Quote from: WorkingOnThomas on April 13, 2016, 06:42:35 AM
I get nervous too, and I'm back to wearing a shirt during. i want to relax and enjoy myself, but just hasn't been happening. I miss being intimate with my girlfriend. :(

I mean I think once it actually happens ill be fine but I just have a tendency to overthink everything, so ill think ill enjoy it.

Quote from: FTMax on April 13, 2016, 10:17:37 AM
I left my underwear and binder on until top surgery. After that, underwear stayed on until I started dating my current partner. Everyone I've dated has been very understanding of my needs and potential discomfort.

Just have fun and try not to worry about it too much.

You are right I gotta stop worrying about it to much.

Quote from: Brandon on April 13, 2016, 10:44:36 AM
She's not a huge size freak she's been with past exes who were smaller than me but I think it matters to me more tbh she's more of the its not how big you are its how you use it type of girls.

I dunno if you have a lot of experience (or any experience) with having intercourse with a man, but I have quite a bit and I will state that 1) most cis men are not very large (think 4-6 inches) and 2) bigger is DEFINITELY not better.  In fact, bigger can be seriously uncomfortable and limit the number of positions you enjoy doing, especially if your partner doesn't enjoy having her cervix hit (something I personally find very uncomfortable).  I had a very large partner once, and our sex life was greatly limited by his size.  I found smaller partners to be much more enjoyable because you could worry all about the pleasure without having to take steps to alleviate any possible discomfort.  Some women like larger men, but most of the women I know prefer men to be average size.  So if you are worried about her pleasure, I wouldn't worry about the size.  If it's because you think you SHOULD be larger... remember that porn sizes are FAKE.  VERY few men have junk that size.  It is 100% abnormal to be larger than around 6 or 7 inches when aroused.  Having a HUGE prosthetic will actually look more fake to a woman or man who has had experience with a variety of cis men than a smaller sized one, because it just doesn't happen in real life very often.

Quote from: FtMitch on April 14, 2016, 06:17:23 PM
I dunno if you have a lot of experience (or any experience) with having intercourse with a man, but I have quite a bit and I will state that 1) most cis men are not very large (think 4-6 inches) and 2) bigger is DEFINITELY not better.  In fact, bigger can be seriously uncomfortable and limit the number of positions you enjoy doing, especially if your partner doesn't enjoy having her cervix hit (something I personally find very uncomfortable).  I had a very large partner once, and our sex life was greatly limited by his size.  I found smaller partners to be much more enjoyable because you could worry all about the pleasure without having to take steps to alleviate any possible discomfort.  Some women like larger men, but most of the women I know prefer men to be average size.  So if you are worried about her pleasure, I wouldn't worry about the size.  If it's because you think you SHOULD be larger... remember that porn sizes are FAKE.  VERY few men have junk that size.  It is 100% abnormal to be larger than around 6 or 7 inches when aroused.  Having a HUGE prosthetic will actually look more fake to a woman or man who has had experience with a variety of cis men than a smaller sized one, because it just doesn't happen in real life very often.

I am not gay but I understand what you are are saying and that's what I figured tbh which is why I am not so worried about the size anymore.