Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Hello, I'm new to this site. A few months ago my boyfriend told me that he likes crossdressing, he had tried it before meeting me once but he fully understood how he feels about it with me. I accepted it because I love him and he was like the happiest person in the world, I loved this about it. But although I accepted it, we have fun and we have a better sex life I haven't really looked into it or found a support team until now and this is something that bothered him because he thinks I don't really care, which is not the case. I just feel that I'm not strong enough to support him right now and I want to be that strong figure and to help him with all my heart. So I hope other woman that are more used to the topic help me with a good advice so that I show him that I care about him and love both sides of him. Please this is really important for me because I really love him and I want to have serious conversations with him and find out how to handle this in the best way I can...I can answer to any question you want if that would help you guide me. Thank you!

Hi Friend  :icon_wave:

Welcome to Susan's  :)  Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Joining here is a good start, does your BF have an account here as well? We have quite a few crossdressers and their SO's (wives, girlfriends) who come here for support

There are plenty of friends to found here for both of you

Here's a few quick links to help you along

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Hugs

V M

Welcome!

I guess I'm confused. If you're accepting it, then why is there an issue? Does he not feel okay crossdressing in your presence, or he's doing that but feeling like you're not completely supportive of it?

I suppose a great place to start would be why is he crossdressing? Is it for the sexual thrill he gets or is it because he likes presenting as a woman because he sometimes (or all the time) feels like one? Either way, there are a lot of people here in those situations and more who are a great resource of support.

My husband identifies as gender queer (he mostly feels male, but sometimes feels female). So, I'm not quite in the same situation as you because he doesn't crossdress in front of me except for the occasional wearing of lingerie, stockings, and heels for sex.

PrincessButtercup well to be more specific, we are both very young, my boyfriend is 22 and I'm 21 and we live in a country where we canNOT do much about it, so that he can be himself whenever he wishes to, btw he identifies himself as gender fluid. As I was saying, I wish I could do more practical things like going to events or something, meeting other crossdresser but it's not easy at all here so that is something that makes him feel sad and that bothers me. So the only thing that remains to do is being there for him all the time and showing him how I feel, and I feel ok with that. BUT I'm not that much the talkative person, or the person that shows easily their feelings, is the way I growed up. I've felt so bad about the way I am that days pass and instead of taking action I feel bad and don't talk and my mind is always thinking about insignificant things. This is the problem to our relationship, the fact that I haven't really reached out to himin the intimate way he wants to.
   WE have had conversations but I feel I must become stronger and find ways to support him through this difficult moment for him, where he feels alone. His mood viries a lot, one day he is very tolerant and supportive and the next he is furious and then sad, like a rollercoaster, I just need a way to make him feel that he has me to support him and that I can be strong when he's not.
   I don't feel that I lost my boyfriend or sth like that beacause I haven't. There are days he's MALE looking in the mirror at his muscles and others that he likes to wear dresses and look at his beutiful long legs, but no matter the appearence he's always there for me, supportive, making me feel a part of it, making me love him and like him more and more....
  I hope you can understand what I want to put out, it's not easy, I have never talked about it to anyone so it;s hard for me to tell exactly how I feel..

V M thank you for welcoming me, I'm currently looking into the site and feeling better...

I am a bit confused about your goals but I think I have enough to make a suggestion. When others deal with my transsexualism, the fall into three categories.
1. They hate it and nothing will change their minds.
2. They are strong supporters and want to know everything about it.
3. They accept me as I am and don't care to know the details.
I think your boyfriend views you as a #2 and feels you haven't done your duty where as the truth is that you are a #3 and personally you don't need to know the details to accept him as he is.

If you wish to learn more, this is a good place to do it but I think you need to explain to your boyfriend that the details aren't important to you and that you still love him just the same.

I agree with Dena's analogy of the situation. Your boyfriend is quite lucky to have you. Some of us aren't nearly as easy going or accepting of it all.

I think the best course of action on your part is to explain to him that it doesn't bother you at all and that you support both sides of his gender equally and don't feel the need to understand all the details that go into him being himself.

But, if he's adamant about you learning more, the non-binary forum here is a great place to start.