Susan's Place Transgender Resources

From my very beginning i was in awe of you
You could do no wrong, the Master of the house
The one with all the answers and no time
But secretly your explosive temper terrified me
i tried so hard to be like you
And hoped that you would notice
Spent half my life doing that, feel so silly
And all i inherited was your fury
One time, just one time you told me
That you were proud of me
But not once did you say that you loved me
You were emotionally crippled in that way
From a very unhealthy childhood yourself
yes, i know you did and you showed it in other ways
But these things need saying or they get doubted
You were a smart man
Why couldn't you see and accept me for who i am?
i tried to tell you, to reach you in so many ways
But you just went bahh every time
But i am here to tell you that i was never your weak son
i was your adoring daughter
We really should have talked earnestly
Near the end i think you had come to accept it as fact
And in your way you did attempt to convey that to me
At least we have that
i loved you so and i still do

My father died recently.  It's really strange how the mind can work but in dealing with his passing and going
over memories i realized that i had been trying to tell him since childhood something i didn't realize in my mind
until much later, that i am transgender because i think i blocked it out as a possibility. 
It's an awful thing to say but his passing has given me added certainty and i'm not really handling that,
so i wrote the above.