Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I think it was in 2004 or '05 when I described myself as a girly-girl.  I was all dolled up (pre-transition) and dressed to the nines. I loved wearing skirts and heels and looking my best.

I've been full time about 8 years now.  I can't remember the last time I wore a skirt or dress, let alone put on heels. I gave most of my heels away, years ago.

Today I'm strictly shorts, sandals and a tank top or T.  I only wear makeup when going out and even then it's bare minimum. Eight years ago you never could have convinced me I'd be where I am now. 

I think it is the pendulum effect. You are held up on one side for so long and one day they let go.  Then you swing to the opposite side and hold yourself up there until you finally relax and settle in the middle, where you're most comfortable.

Has anyone else gone through this?   

Julie Marie! Hello stranger :) I hope life is going well for you. I haven't had this happen to me personally, but I do know many other trans women that have experienced this. I especially see it over the course of like 6+ years into transition. I'm at 8 years transitioned and I haven't lost an interest in makeup, dresses, and accessories. I will say that I don't wear heels as much as I used to, but I am probably on my feet more now and I'm working a lot longer days than I used to as well. I don't think I'm like super girly girl or anything, probably like feminine maybe, I don't even know how to describe myself, lol. Anyway, you aren't alone because I know a lot of people that went through that! I hope you are well. If you are still in the Midwest, stay cool out there! Meghan

Hi Julie Marie, I'm not as experienced as you since I'm only 1,5 years into full transition but I do feel that same pendulum effect.
Before I came out I was a skirted men, trying as hard as I can to live my gender dysphoria without coming out as trans.

Since coming out, I just bursted with pink everything and girly stuff. Wearing skirts, tights, summer, winter, wind, rain, snow, whatever.

Now I'm becoming more and more boyish with an "in between" look with jeans and hoody where I feel feminine and confortable. I still have a slight beard shadow so fondation is still a must but I can't wait to go out make-up less.

I personaly explain it by saying that at first I fought hard to pass. As time is going by and passing easier, I'm feeling I'm a girl instead of wanting to look like a girl.

Quote from: Elisa on April 23, 2016, 07:24:35 PM
Hi Julie Marie, I'm not as experienced as you since I'm only 1,5 years into full transition but I do feel that same pendulum effect.
Before I came out I was a skirted men, trying as hard as I can to live my gender dysphoria without coming out as trans.

Since coming out, I just bursted with pink everything and girly stuff. Wearing skirts, tights, summer, winter, wind, rain, snow, whatever.

Now I'm becoming more and more boyish with an "in between" look with jeans and hoody where I feel feminine and confortable. I still have a slight beard shadow so fondation is still a must but I can't wait to go out make-up less.

I personaly explain it by saying that at first I fought hard to pass. As time is going by and passing easier, I'm feeling I'm a girl instead of wanting to look like a girl.

Elisa,

Welcome to the site. You  have more experience than a number of us here. However, it is a great site with experienced members and a caring membership.

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Once again, welcome to Susan's. Look around, ask questions and continue to join in.

With warmth,

Joanna

When transitionning (or before) we usually do anything we can to feel even slightly feminin. It's something many experience.

Many of us tend to be "too much" at start, because of this need to feel feminin. We use to get away from everything masculin, in some case even our men friends.

Then there is a point in transition where some of us stop worrying about having some masculin features as we know it won't make us a male.

I am this jeans, running, tank t girl most of the time too (so confortable). I do wear skirts for job only.

No shame about being yourself girl :)

Yes, this is me....

Im very much in between and finding it is so much more comfortable for me here, at this time anyway...

I wear jeans, tennies and I found these awesome fashion bug camis, awesome material and nice pattern/colors
These are great now that its easier to keep my arm and body hair at bay

I wear pastel bandanas and usually a large cross necklace and a few bracelettes

light foundation or tinted primer and some eyeliner

this look is my staple and my wife giggles when I say, ok... this isnt too girly, right?

I'm just at the beginning of all this.  HRT starts in 31 days (but who's counting.). One thing everyone says is to look around at people your age and find a style you like and mimic it.

So for the past six months I've taken mental notes of what women in their 40's and 50's are wearing.  They are all tomboys wearing pants, slightly feminine top, light eye shadow with flats.

There is only one woman at work older that 35 that wears skirts. 

Clubbing/nightlife is a different story, but that's to be expected.

Back when I first came here, I think in 2005, I believed I'd never transition, so when I went out, as a self described CD, I went all out.  Then, as the thought of transitioning entered into the equation, I tried to identify what would make me happiest.  I thought that being girly was the answer.

But I was totally wrong.

Today I am pretty much the same person I always was.  I still enjoy doing what most would consider guy things and I don't try to act feminine at all. I find it funny how I almost dread being girly. 

Interesting how things worked out.

Yeah, straight up tom here

I wear a skirt or a dress 1-2 times a month. I wear jeans and nice tops, although i do wear heels and boots a lot in the winter. My makeup is pretty light most of the time; eyeliner, maybe some BB cream and lip gloss. When im more casual i wear shorts in the summer, and converses.

I think my style is sort of tomboy.

ahhh this is why my therapist i was going to didn't believe i was trans. I simply don't care about makeup or acting like a total girly girl. I do wear girl cloths only when it comfortable and don't much care about other perception of me. So many believe trans-girl have to want to be super feminine. There for i could never pass the rl test because i wouldn't change anything about myself i just go on doing me, so i went and saw a doctor that practices informed consent.

Tomboy here, I wear what most late 50s women do. Jeans,flattties, T shirt, hoodie, crucifix,ear rings, pony tail. Don't do makeup since I had an eye infection.
Like punk/metal, riding my HD Sportster & muscle cars. Lost count of the number of times I've been told "real" t girls don't do this. Those who know me will know my reply!

I love how we are all different.. I kinda opposite..

I am personally a girly girl now about 6 years into transition.

I started out like a tomboy.. wore a little makeup, often just wore ski pants with a top when I was dressed, even noun again I would wear a skirt. When I went full time, I kinda just tried different styles and really explored female clothing.. and now...

I wear a lot of dresses/skirts and I wear heels most days. I don't wear layers and layers of makeup. I wear eye liner, shadow and mascara around the eyes and lipstick.. and maybe a little power on the cheeks. However I love to groom myself. My nails 99% of the time have nail polish on them and  I also love to wear dangle or hoop earrings. I have 3 holes in each ear. I also love wearing lingerie.

I love expressing my femininely.. even my four tattoo's are very feminine designs.

Quote from: roseyfox on April 25, 2016, 08:18:42 PM
ahhh this is why my therapist i was going to didn't believe i was trans. I simply don't care about makeup or acting like a total girly girl.

Maybe that's why TV specials about transwomen spend so much time showing them putting on makeup and wearing dresses and heels. As if that's what makes you a woman...  ::)

I recently mentioned to my girlfriend that I regard myself to be a tomboy. Her reply was "Are you kidding? You're more feminine than I am!" I disagreed.

Perhaps a kinda tomboyish, sorta feminine geek would be more closer to the mark. :)

I won't necessarily call myself a tomboy. However, I have days where I just want to wear jeans, shirt and flats. Some days, I would wear a t-shirt dress with a denim jacket and flats. Same goes with work, however I wear slacks and blouses most of the time with flats or boots.

I rarely wear heels but I love my make-up. I know there's a lot of make-up shaming etch etch. But if you know how to use makeup and use it in a way to enhance your features - why not. A lot of women do it, why can't I :)  But to each their own, whatever makes you happy. You do you.

April

QuoteBut if you know how to use makeup and use it in a way to enhance your features - why not. A lot of women do it, why can't I :)

Absolutely April,

I totally agree with you on this.

Make up is kind of a skill. It reminds me of a friend who used to golf using about 3 clubs. Each one is for a different situation or distance. However, they require different skills. If you can use them all, you will improve. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying one should strive to use make up but it can help if you have the time and desire. Just takes practice, girlie or Tom.

I think your live and let live attitude is the gist of why this thread exists. Fun to compare and contrast. However, it comes down to what your comfort level and strengths are.

Warmly,

Joanna

It's really nice to see old familiar names pop up again!  Welcome back, Julie Marie!

Hugs & Smiles
HelenW