Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I've been reading posts about losing friends and people getting freaked out when people come out as trans*.  The argument of "I'm still there same person", " it's still me inside " etc seems to fall on deaf ears.  Even for me, I am different as I transition.  But here's my point, the change is soooo slow (could be many months, or even years) people don't notice.  Let those friends transition with you.  Don't tell them.  Let them learn about the new you as you do.  Eventually they will either stop calling or be unavailable but then they are making that decision on the new you not "trans* you."

I see three exceptions
1) obviously medical professionals
2) your immediate family
3) those people you need help from during transition.
#3 is the "other" bucket, but the key is, you must tell them.  For example hair dresser/stylist.  Maybe (and this is a huge maybe) H.R or your manager.

I'm thinking a slow, let them get used to my mannerisms.  Typically people are so totally oblivious to subtle changes they might not even notice at all until you wear a dress one day. 
Things that might get noticed:

Hair length. Mine is longer now than in the last 30+ years.  The comments have been "wow, retro 70's". To "wow, I love it.". No one has been negative.

Ear piercing: yes this is a big one.  Maybe really small studs?  I'll take suggestions on this one.

Breast growth:  by the time they can't be hidden, I would say they are either with you or not.

Then the rest, name change, FFS, voice, etc. But by that point, you might have a better idea of allies and non-allies.

I would love other's opinions on this.

That couldn't have worked for me if I had friends because my transition was forced. I started it before I was fully ready and before my time table had it planed. I needed to be full feminine because job loss forced it and I didn't want to spend another year or two at a new job before making much progress in transition. I had already spend about 6 years working my way through the medical maze to get to where I was.

Some people are comfortable with that approach but others like me are tired of waiting and just want to get on with our life. I admit the times I was in the line between feminine and masculine was more clearly drawn but even today there are places where you would be called out pretty early if you start getting close to the line.

IMO I don't think this will quite work out. They may be accepting of you being a feminine guy; but could become unaccepting if they learn you're a trans woman. They may also be angry at you that you 'lied' about how you actually identify and that you didn't trust them enough to open up.  I feel it's best just to get it over with; then you know straight away who your real friends/family are and like Dena said; you can transition quicker.
I wwouldn't worry about getting your ears pierced. Many guys have both ears pierced; it's no longer considered unusual. I had my ears repierced on Sun :). Just make sure you go to a professional piercing studio to get it done. Also the earrings the piercer gives you are usually just plain studs. So quite inconspicuous.

This is pretty much my plan when it comes to work my biggest fear though is i only see coworkers every 3 months as we all work from home so i am thinking the changes from hrt will be more readily visible.  Oh well only time will tell and I still have to figure out how to explain it to my kids.

I think its a great idea to create a plan that is well thought out and execute it. Be real with those that love you. Honest and Open. Be ready for everything to NOT go your way, some people IMO will never get it, others take time to get it (And will get it eventually). For coming out at work, I can only say what I have heard myself (I haven't done it).  Do your research on the companies stance (And take screen shots of any wikis that give the official company stance),  make back ups of your up line manager reviews for evidence of your performance at work, talk to HR, Security, and your manager.

beyond that, slowly easing folks into your real gender can work, IMO. Good Luck!