Community Conversation => Transgender talk => Topic started by: Midnightstar on May 07, 2016, 07:36:04 PM Return to Full Version
Title: What helped you get back up when you realize you have been down?
Post by: Midnightstar on May 07, 2016, 07:36:04 PM
Post by: Midnightstar on May 07, 2016, 07:36:04 PM
I pick myself back up by telling myself i'm human and try letting myself know that doubts and worries are normal.
Title: Re: What helped you get back up when you realize you have been down?
Post by: Ms Grace on May 07, 2016, 07:38:02 PM
Post by: Ms Grace on May 07, 2016, 07:38:02 PM
I find remembering good times really helps. I have a huge bank load of those nice memories packed away in my heart for easy extraction should the need arise.
Title: Re: What helped you get back up when you realize you have been down?
Post by: Rebecca on May 07, 2016, 08:01:39 PM
Post by: Rebecca on May 07, 2016, 08:01:39 PM
The fact I am capable of feeling down cheers me up :)
Title: Re: What helped you get back up when you realize you have been down?
Post by: Michelle_P on May 07, 2016, 08:43:27 PM
Post by: Michelle_P on May 07, 2016, 08:43:27 PM
Memories of good things. Simple things.
I've been dealing with a pretty severe depression for a few months, driven by dysphoria. (Hey, guess why I'm here?) With my therapist, I've been working through exercises in mindfulness and cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). Originally, when I was down I did what most folks seem to do, holding onto the dark feeling, poking at it, trying to shove it back in that deep dark hole it came from, and really, just wallowing in it. That turns out to be the wrong thing to do. ;) Oops.
What I'm learning to do is just let it go, sort of mentally stepping back to a quiet place, a happy memory, and letting the darkness dissipate on it's own. Rather than engage it, I try to shift myself to a happier place, relax, and let it flow past, slowly fading away.
The happy places I shift to are simple, almost primal things; the memory of making a piece of toast with jam and how nice it tasted; the thought of how nice I felt getting dressed; the pleasant coolness of a countertop pressing on my hip through thin fabric; how I felt slipping into a cute new top for the first time. I often shift to the same posture I held at that moment, perhaps at the same location in the house, or even repeat the movements, making the recall more vivid. Then, I just hold that memory and wait.
I've been dealing with a pretty severe depression for a few months, driven by dysphoria. (Hey, guess why I'm here?) With my therapist, I've been working through exercises in mindfulness and cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). Originally, when I was down I did what most folks seem to do, holding onto the dark feeling, poking at it, trying to shove it back in that deep dark hole it came from, and really, just wallowing in it. That turns out to be the wrong thing to do. ;) Oops.
What I'm learning to do is just let it go, sort of mentally stepping back to a quiet place, a happy memory, and letting the darkness dissipate on it's own. Rather than engage it, I try to shift myself to a happier place, relax, and let it flow past, slowly fading away.
The happy places I shift to are simple, almost primal things; the memory of making a piece of toast with jam and how nice it tasted; the thought of how nice I felt getting dressed; the pleasant coolness of a countertop pressing on my hip through thin fabric; how I felt slipping into a cute new top for the first time. I often shift to the same posture I held at that moment, perhaps at the same location in the house, or even repeat the movements, making the recall more vivid. Then, I just hold that memory and wait.
Title: Re: What helped you get back up when you realize you have been down?
Post by: SadieBlake on May 08, 2016, 02:01:12 AM
Post by: SadieBlake on May 08, 2016, 02:01:12 AM
Life can be pretty unfair, I was asked the other day if I was being 'so emotional because of the drugs I'm taking' in reference to HRT. I can't even describe how taken aback I was at this guy who never in a million years would ask a cis-female if her hormone state was the problem. He then made it worse when I tried to explain to him how that felt pretty insulting and he just further justified his logic.
Right now 2.5 years back in therapy after 16 years relatively depression-free and a slow and scary slide back into that awful place.
One of the first things I shared with my therapist was how I'd been in denial of the return of depression for a couple of years. Along with that was the thought that my standards for 'happy' might be a bit low from a lifetime of chronic if sub-clinical depression.
I recognize and use most of the strategies already mentioned, HRT seems to be helping, as has addressing the proximate cause of my now 2+ year old crisis -- undertaking a career change moving from technology to art.
Remembering to savor each moment .. or maybe better put being more fully engaged in my here and now.
Recently after the difficulty mentioned above with the guy who runs the space where I make my ar. I was quite emotional and in my therapy session I was a little surprised to see my therapist clearly emotive toward a difficult situation I'm dealing with.
It was odd to see her emotion (countertransference) and comes in a context of we've discussed my attraction for her and moderately strong desire to be intimate (transference). I was definitely down and it felt good to be touched emotionally.
Right now 2.5 years back in therapy after 16 years relatively depression-free and a slow and scary slide back into that awful place.
One of the first things I shared with my therapist was how I'd been in denial of the return of depression for a couple of years. Along with that was the thought that my standards for 'happy' might be a bit low from a lifetime of chronic if sub-clinical depression.
I recognize and use most of the strategies already mentioned, HRT seems to be helping, as has addressing the proximate cause of my now 2+ year old crisis -- undertaking a career change moving from technology to art.
Remembering to savor each moment .. or maybe better put being more fully engaged in my here and now.
Recently after the difficulty mentioned above with the guy who runs the space where I make my ar. I was quite emotional and in my therapy session I was a little surprised to see my therapist clearly emotive toward a difficult situation I'm dealing with.
It was odd to see her emotion (countertransference) and comes in a context of we've discussed my attraction for her and moderately strong desire to be intimate (transference). I was definitely down and it felt good to be touched emotionally.
Title: Re: What helped you get back up when you realize you have been down?
Post by: Rebecca on May 08, 2016, 03:37:52 AM
Post by: Rebecca on May 08, 2016, 03:37:52 AM
Just when you mentioned depression. I had my first experience of that on Friday morning and identified it.
It was like "wow new emotion" then "erm ok I don't like this one can they take it away again".
After a lifetime of declaring depression to be BS it was interesting, to say the least, to actually feel it. That all pervading sadness and in my case self pity (was really feeling horrible about having to grow facial hair for 5 days before electrolysis). Logically I knew it was short term, had to done, long term great and not really noticeable to others but still felt..... can't really think of a word.... but low and well depressed I guess.
Talked it over with the wife and she told me everything I already knew while playing with my hair making it all better.
Seems like the best way to get rid of it is to talk it out with someone. Wow there's a radical new theory lol.
It was like "wow new emotion" then "erm ok I don't like this one can they take it away again".
After a lifetime of declaring depression to be BS it was interesting, to say the least, to actually feel it. That all pervading sadness and in my case self pity (was really feeling horrible about having to grow facial hair for 5 days before electrolysis). Logically I knew it was short term, had to done, long term great and not really noticeable to others but still felt..... can't really think of a word.... but low and well depressed I guess.
Talked it over with the wife and she told me everything I already knew while playing with my hair making it all better.
Seems like the best way to get rid of it is to talk it out with someone. Wow there's a radical new theory lol.
Title: Re: What helped you get back up when you realize you have been down?
Post by: FTMax on May 08, 2016, 11:26:43 AM
Post by: FTMax on May 08, 2016, 11:26:43 AM
My dog! I got him when he was a baby. I was going through a really bad period of depression and needed a reason to keep getting up everyday. Puppies want to hang out all the time, and it's hard to stay feeling down when someone else is counting on you. He'll be 5 this year, and he's still the best pick-me-up.