Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Male to female transsexual talk (MTF) => Topic started by: stephaniec on May 11, 2016, 10:03:17 AM Return to Full Version

Title: what's your fear level for being trans
Post by: stephaniec on May 11, 2016, 10:03:17 AM
I really have no concerns because I rarely leave my neighborhood or venture outside my neighborhood at night. I live in a college community with a lot of police around. Once in a while I get a little unnerved if I'm sitting in a sandwich shop in the early morning hours and a group of teens or a bunch of drunks come in, that can be quite unnerving.
Title: Re: what's your fear level for being trans
Post by: Mariah on May 11, 2016, 10:18:06 AM
My fear level hasn't changed. It's not something I give anymore thought to now than before. Hugs
Mariah
Title: Re: what's your fear level for being trans
Post by: suzifrommd on May 11, 2016, 10:20:13 AM
Never had a problem, but I try to avoid dodgy areas. I was always fearful for my safety (even as a man, I didn't scare anyone), so being trans hasn't changes things much.
Title: what's your fear level for being trans
Post by: Deborah on May 11, 2016, 10:21:08 AM
Since I'm ambiguously androgynous right now I rarely think about it.  Plus, for better or worse I do know how to fight and that mindset seems to be fixed and unchanging.

And I do like Suzi and avoid bad places while remaining acutely aware of my surroundings.


Sapere Aude
Title: Re: what's your fear level for being trans
Post by: cheryl reeves on May 11, 2016, 10:27:58 AM
I've never been afraid. I can scare he'll out of any man when I let my facial hair grow out. As Cheryl they are left in wonder and leave me alone for I carry an aromia of trouble,so it's best to wonder and keep quiet. See Cheryl maybe my middle name,but my other middle name is TROUBLE.
Title: Re: what's your fear level for being trans
Post by: archlord on May 11, 2016, 10:34:32 AM
i dont have any more fear then a woman does when alone on big city street  after midnight...  ciswoman have high rape statistic sadly.    Trans or not.



god... just noticed im a bit over 7 month HRT. time flies since month 5  :O
Title: Re: what's your fear level for being trans
Post by: KyleeKrow on May 11, 2016, 01:48:15 PM
Pretty high, but getting easier. I think it's mainly just getting past old trauma for me. I tend to be hypervigilant, though.
Title: Re: what's your fear level for being trans
Post by: KristinaM on May 11, 2016, 05:26:38 PM
My fear/anxiety had died down pretty well until this fiasco with HB2 here in NC.  Now I look over my shoulder more whenever I'm somewhere unfamiliar.
Title: Re: what's your fear level for being trans
Post by: stephaniec on May 11, 2016, 11:16:55 PM
I get somewhat apprehensive when I need to go to the bathroom. I was shopping at Target yesterday and felt a major weight off my sholder when I went to the ladies room because of their new policy.
Title: Re: what's your fear level for being trans
Post by: MichaelaLJ1972 on May 12, 2016, 04:57:31 AM
Sadly, most of my fear is experienced right at home. I've said before that I am my dad's caregiver and he's not supportive. A few days ago we had an argument and he had the nerve to tell me that I was a disgrace to my mother's memory because I am changing my body. Forget the fact that my mother was very supportive of me and was going to help me start my transition before she passed away. So, I spend a lot of time trying to hide all the changes going on with my body while I am at home. I can be a little more open and free at work, but I still don't feel like I can pass so I will hide my breasts as best I can when I am out... it's getting more difficult because they are definitely growing quickly, even on low dose. My dad has at least accepted (reluctantly) that I am wearing wigs, but that's about it. He even bitches about that though.

Title: Re: what's your fear level for being trans
Post by: allisonsteph on May 12, 2016, 06:06:00 AM
I've been full time for about two and a half years. I never had any fear until the last couple of weeks. I've been harassed at the shelter I am staying in and on the streets. I refused a housing placement from social services over fears for my safety. I have no idea why it's starting now.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Title: Re: what's your fear level for being trans
Post by: RobynD on May 13, 2016, 04:37:16 PM
I think also that i have about the same fear level as any woman. I live in liberal city, i don't venture in unfamiliar places late at night, i go with people when it is appropriate.

My mom always use to say not a lot of good happens after midnight, which is sort of silly but has some elements of truth to it. I'm sleeping before that hour 95% of the time.
Title: Re: what's your fear level for being trans
Post by: karenpayneoregon on May 14, 2016, 10:44:45 AM
Everyone is different coupled with where they live in regards to society feeling on transgender and cross-dressers.   In the beginning I had reservations living in a small town but once out into a larger city all thoughts on not being accepted went away.
Title: Re: what's your fear level for being trans
Post by: Beth Andrea on May 14, 2016, 11:25:05 AM
Same as before. Really it's not much different than when I was going to school and being bullied, as far as "do I go out today or not..?" I just take a deep breath and que cera, cera.

One of the few times I'm glad to be built "like a linebacker" LOL  ;D

Fear does not, must not, stop me.
Title: Re: what's your fear level for being trans
Post by: Emileeeee on May 14, 2016, 02:06:37 PM
I've never had a problem where I live, but I still get a little nervous at night. I've seen other people in the area get asked if they were trans whether they were or not, so the fact that people are not only looking for us, but telling us when they spot us, puts me on edge.
Title: Re: what's your fear level for being trans
Post by: cindianna_jones on May 14, 2016, 03:24:16 PM
I live in a very transphobic community. I'm out to everyone I know and I'm sure there are others who know. I don't think about it much but when I do, I get a touch of paranoia thinking that someone might take a shotgun to me. Oddly enough, I worry about that more at home than when I'm in town. I live in a remote area.

Many neighbors used to brag about the low crime rate... "We don't have much crime here. We own a back hoe." I've heard that from more than a few people. The thing is... they're not joking. People talk around here. There have been lots of stories about bodies show up in weird places. I know that some of them are true.
Title: Re: what's your fear level for being trans
Post by: RobynD on May 14, 2016, 05:17:24 PM
Cindi - are you sure your not living in that community from "children of the corn"? Do they do unsettling rituals or anything?  ;D

I use to read a lot of Stephen King when i was young, i would be likely be freaked out hearing about their crime prevention measures.

Definitely time you moved north
Title: Re: what's your fear level for being trans
Post by: TG CLare on May 14, 2016, 10:03:59 PM
Generally I try to be aware of my surroundings and what is going on.

The other day I was waiting for someone when I found this mid-20's man staring at me. Not in a checking me out stare but a defiant, angry one. I just stared him right back and after a while I just said, Why don't you take a picture instead, if you're that interested?" That's when he called me a f***ing ->-bleeped-<-. Doesn't even know my preferences and thinks I was interested in him? Full of himself that was for sure.

Overall I have had no problems apart from the occasional smart ass comment but I can fire them back as good as the next person.

Just be aware of what and who is around you and be careful when the bars let out. Drunken young men do not take lightly to being fooled by someone they thought was a real woman and not a trans woman, especially in a group.

Love,
Clare
Title: Re: what's your fear level for being trans
Post by: HappyMoni on May 14, 2016, 10:48:12 PM
I was getting less and less afraid. Now with the clarification by Obama on the rules for the bathroom, I believe someone somewhere is going to pay a price. Some wacko will see us having the "special right" of being able to go to the bathroom and think it is their duty to put us in our place. Flying under the radar in a sense had the advantage for trans people of not putting us upfront in people's minds. Of course, no real progress can be made without increased visibility.
Moni
Title: Re: what's your fear level for being trans
Post by: Laura_Squirrel on May 14, 2016, 11:13:48 PM
I'm not worried about it. I have noticed a few looks and whatnot recently. But, I think that it's a result of all of the stuff about trans this and trans that lately. If someone wants to actually come at me, I would rip their eyes out of their head.
Title: Re: what's your fear level for being trans
Post by: AnonyMs on May 15, 2016, 12:05:12 AM
I'm not out and I don't get out much so I've no practical experience, but none of the above feels like it would apply to Sydney, or at least the parts I live in. It sounds rather like the stereotype of violent America. Is that really representative?
Title: Re: what's your fear level for being trans
Post by: JoanneB on May 15, 2016, 06:00:17 AM
Back in the day, as in late 70's early 80's, when I had my first two experiments with transitioning I was always fearfull. I always had that 'Some guy in a dress' feeling and obviously exuded it to the world in general.

Before all the current brouhaha, thanks to the bathroom nutz and the feds riling up all the knudnicks just in time for the election, I would say my fear level was situational, as it would be for anyone, especially a female anyone, and a transwoman one.

Today I'll have to admit that situational awareness has been ratcheted up a few notches  >:(
Title: Re: what's your fear level for being trans
Post by: stephaniec on May 15, 2016, 08:49:00 AM
pretty good distribution for the graph
Title: Re: what's your fear level for being trans
Post by: stephaniec on May 15, 2016, 11:33:09 AM
the bathroom thing makes you wonder if the cops are going to bust down the door