Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Just wondering if in public and your thinking people are curious about you whether or not they are do you think in the back of your mind as a confidence support system that  yeah, I'm trans kind of get over it whether or not anyone is really caring whether or not you are. I tend to get a little support for myself when a little doubt comes over me by say that to myself.

Hi Steph,

I was at Costco yesterday. There were several people that stared, mostly guys. Most people are absorbed in what they are doing or do not care. When people stare I usually do not give it too much thought but in crouded places like Costco on a Saturday afternoon there were 20 or so people that stared. Eventually I thought to myself, yes I am trans and get over it.

I do not know, I would look back at them then look away. I do not know how long they looked but it felt a little uneasy. I am use to it but still it still feels uneasy.

The Starbucks I go to is mostly college students and I tend to get hyper sensitive when 20 year old coeds are looking at me whether or not they are really looking at me

Quote from: stephaniec on May 15, 2016, 12:09:54 PM
Just wondering if in public and your thinking people are curious about you whether or not they are do you think in the back of your mind as a confidence support system that  yeah, I'm trans kind of get over it whether or not anyone is really caring whether or not you are. I tend to get a little support for myself when a little doubt comes over me by say that to myself.

Yes. I'm proud to be trans, and if I get clocked I hold my head high. I show them that the face of transgender is intellegent and competent.

I just say they're looking at me because I'm gorgeous haha ;)

Don't even care if it's not true

I'm presuming when people stare it's because I'm tall. They all look away if I look at them. I'm guessing that if they're thinking anything it's "wow, she's got great legs!" ;D

If you're with friends or ur partner, they act as a buffer in some ways. When I'm with my BF, I pay attention to him ignoring any stares I may or may not get. He's also pretty vigilant about sticking up for me and calming me down the few times I've gotten upset by jerks saying transphobic garbage.

My mom, brother and friends usually also work well as a buffer. I live an 8hr drive from a lot of my HS and Undergrad friends, and sometimes they do need to adjust, because of how I look and how comfortable/used to being perceived as female I have gotten.

When you're by yourself, people in general are going to be more obvious about looking at you. It's more noticeable both because you aren't distracted by being with someone, and people don't want to be caught staring at someone by the person who is with them. There are also all sorts of judgements people have for women who are by themselves in public. It's less of a deal in bigger cities, and it's really easy to ignore and put off a don't bother me vibe if you're wearing headphones, regardless of whether you're listening to anything with them.

If someone keeps staring and it makes you uncomfortable, stare back, raise a quizzical eyebrow, and if they don't look away or say something roll your eyes and break your gaze. This will probably embarrass them and discourage them from staring or being rude. I've never tried this, but you could make a funny face at them, laugh and proceed to ignore them.


     Hugs,
- Katie
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If you find staring directly back to be too confrontational do what I do, stare at their left ear. It really freaks them out. 99% of the time they will stop.

Quote from: Ms Grace on May 15, 2016, 06:33:11 PM
I'm presuming when people stare it's because I'm tall. They all look away if I look at them. I'm guessing that if they're thinking anything it's "wow, she's got great legs!" ;D

I can't help staring at the women's basketball players from the university they are over 6' something

I tend to smile at people if they stare. A guy did the hrummmph rolls his eyes, shakes his head and sort of laughs thing to me one day a couple of weeks ago, while i was getting groceries. I was in no makeup and just from the showers at the gym, my hair was still wet etc, but i still was dressed neater than he was  ;D

Then i pretty much take the attitude: I'm a trans woman get over it and take care of your own life.

Quote from: RobynD on May 15, 2016, 09:58:44 PM
I'm a trans woman

But... but... you're Rinoa.

This mental picture of the words "use transgender as a backup" is funny to me.  I dunno, I'm picturing someone being stared at and then the person pulls out this walkie talkie and requests back up and out of nowhere all these transgirls in silly wigs, over-the-top makeup, leopard print dresses and 6 inch stilettos come over and encircle the person, pointing and ranting and being all SJW on them.  Rofl, sorry I'm a weirdo.

I just smile at people if I feel I'm "being stared at" and they 99% of the time smile back so... even if they suspect me, I come across as a positive light.  It's the best I can do!

Quote from: Ⓥ on May 16, 2016, 03:21:52 AM
But... but... you're Rinoa.

This mental picture of the words "use transgender as a backup" is funny to me.  I dunno, I'm picturing someone being stared at and then the person pulls out this walkie talkie and requests back up and out of nowhere all these transgirls in silly wigs, over-the-top makeup, leopard print dresses and 6 inch stilettos come over and encircle the person, pointing and ranting and being all SJW on them.  Rofl, sorry I'm a weirdo.

I just smile at people if I feel I'm "being stared at" and they 99% of the time smile back so... even if they suspect me, I come across as a positive light.  It's the best I can do!

Lol to your Rinoa reference and your transgirl superhero...i think you should market that to Marvel

I rarely think I'm trans except for when I come to the website. Perhaps I'm deluded. ;)

I don't do that, but I do think to myself, "I'm sorry I'm not feminine enough for you. What do you want me to do? Cut off my face?" I never say it out loud, but it seems to make me feel better for some reason.