Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Hello,

First off I'm not sure if this set of questions belongs here or in another part of the forum. Sorry if it's in the wrong place or doesn't make sense. Have to give some background into my thoughts and feelings. First off I think it's completely ridiculous about all this transgender bathroom nonsense. I personally feel that the only way to solve this whole issue is to have trans-people use the bathroom of their presenting gender. Bathroom laws are completely wrong and should never have been enacted or even presented. I do not think gender neutral bathrooms are the way to go either to resolve this issue of which bathroom to use.



I can only speak for my own beliefs and I am pretty rigid in my sense of right and wrong. I am a transgender Aspie (trans person with Aspergers syndrome). My gender identity is such an intertwined part of my ability to live that I cannot stand to have my gender identity destroyed; even by the use any bathroom other than the women's. There are exceptions though. When I first began my transition I could use the gender neutral bathrooms but after using the women's bathroom for so long I can no longer use gender neutral bathrooms lest I feel that my gender identity is under attack. I feel that my femininity and gender identity are threatened by using gender neutral bathrooms. It takes the gender out of gender identity. I cannot stand that. Just like that vest at work. It's too masculine and I still will not wear the vest lest my femininity and gender Identity be threatened.



I refuse to use the men's room, family bathrooms, single occupancy bathrooms and I especially refuse to use gender neutral bathrooms. The only exceptions are my own personal bathroom at home, at my parents, a friend's house or if I am in public and a porta potty is the only thing there for me to use. Even if they pass a transgender bathroom law in MN I will still use the women's room irregardless. I pass very well so nobody says anything. I was upset recently because my gender therapist's office replaced the men's and women's rooms with two family bathrooms. I think they made a mistake in doing that. I refuse to use them simply for that reason. I will go somewhere else that has a women's room or wait until I return home. This whole trans-people in bathrooms nonsense and gender neutral bathrooms makes me angry and upset.



Is there anyone at all that agrees with me that having trans people use the bathroom of their presenting gender is the only way to resolve this whole trans bathroom nonsense? Am I wrong in having that viewpoint? Am I wrong or too rigid in my refusal to use any bathroom that is not the women's albeit with the special exceptions that I mentioned? Am I making any sense with any of this at all? I would appreciate your thoughts on this matter.

gender neutral has a neutral effect on me. I go to a restaurant that has two single occupancy restrooms and they are both gender neutral.

Quote from: Cute Ida on May 26, 2016, 02:52:17 PM
Is there anyone at all that agrees with me that having trans people use the bathroom of their presenting gender is the only way to resolve this whole trans bathroom nonsense?

I posted a thread in the "Polls" area (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,209905.0.html) asking this very question. Seems like the membership of this site overwhelmingly agrees with you.

Quote from: Cute Ida on May 26, 2016, 02:52:17 PM
Is there anyone at all that agrees with me that having trans people use the bathroom of their presenting gender is the only way to resolve this whole trans bathroom nonsense?

LoL, you're asking this question on a transgendered message board?

Let's see.................

A Bear ->-bleeped-<-s in the:

A) Woods
B) Woods
C) Woods
D) Woods

Basically, yes, literally every person here agrees.  Go to Al-Jazeera, Fox News, or The Westboro Baptist Church's forums and have a go there... you would maybe (maybe!) get a dissenter or two who'd be up for a friendly debate :icon_userfriendly:

Quote from: Cute IdaIs there anyone at all that agrees with me that having trans people use the bathroom of their presenting gender is the only way to resolve this whole trans bathroom nonsense?

Quote

Hi Cute Ida You are preaching to the converted on this particular subject I certainly agree with you

Am I wrong in having that viewpoint?

Its your view why do you think you are wrong? We know that we a threat to no one in a bathroom. 


Am I wrong or too rigid in my refusal to use any bathroom that is not the women's albeit with the special exceptions that I mentioned?

I cannot stand any program that uses cis males cross dressing as comedy. I don't find any of it amusing or funny in the slightest...Your refusal to use other bathrooms is your decision and how it impacts you, is severe from what you describe You have every right to do this to keep yourself in a good space. That decision impacts only you as does my decision to not indulge in that type of comedy programming. Its your life your choice


Am I making any sense with any of this at all? I would appreciate your thoughts on this matter.

I live in Australia and find the whole bathroom thing absurd. Most places have a gender neutral option in the form of a Disabled Persons toilet. Many restaurants have single toilets that are used happily by any gender that needs to and I have yet to hear a complaint. If this is what you need to do to keep yourself happy how is it harming any other living being?                                                                               

Liz

I'm obviously not going to use the male restrooms, and I'm not going to use a neutral one if the women's is available but if the only available option is  gender neutral then I can't see what the fuss is... Unless of course some man has used it before and has left the seat up and peed all over the floor, or worse, left the seat down and peed all over the seat.

Before I finally decided to admit that I was trans gender, all the restrooms at my workplace were unisex single stall and that was great as it didn't make me feel separated from the women I worked with. I was enough for me. The day they made one of the restrooms female only was the day I had my straw that broke the camel's back dysphoria meltdown.

Neutral restrooms options can, I believe, serve a very useful purpose to trans people who have not transitioned and/or are trying to manage their dysphoria. For them to be proposed as the "solution" for those who have transitioned to use is of course insulting but that doesn't sound like what was happening at your therapists, it was applied across all genders, cis and trans equally.

The building in which I work recently turned their M/F ground floor toilets into unisex, but so they could also add an accessible toilet for disability use. I haven't needed to use the restroom when I've been on the ground floor yet but when I do I'm not going to go all the way up to the next floor just to use a gendered stall.

"Sense" has absolutely nothing to do people's deeply held cultural, religious, or other mores. Just like making smoking weed a federal offense. "GateWay Drug"? Please. Cigs and booze are far bigger gateway drugs and readily proven to be

The entire toilet debacle is fueled by deep transphobia, especially and pretty much totally limited to MTF. We are deviants, perverts, abominations, etc. that need to be eradicated off the face of the Earth so others don't burn in hell because of our "Gay Agenda"

I doubt I am the only one here that regularly used the Gents, say in a bar or night club, and in walks a woman because the line for the ladies was a mile long. I didn't freak out. Sure a little WTF? look and she said "I couldn't hold it"

It makes sense to us because we innately understand that gender identity is a real thing in the mind.  Many others believe that their identity resides between their legs.  In general you cannot reason with them because for many their opinions are informed by their faith, and faith, properly defined, is pretending to know what you don't know.  This destroys their ability to apply reason, logic, science, and even human compassion in addressing the issue.


Sapere Aude

Quote from: Cute Ida on May 26, 2016, 02:52:17 PM
When I first began my transition I could use the gender neutral bathrooms but after using the women's bathroom for so long I can no longer use gender neutral bathrooms lest I feel that my gender identity is under attack. I feel that my femininity and gender identity are threatened by using gender neutral bathrooms. It takes the gender out of gender identity. . . .

I refuse to use the men's room, family bathrooms, single occupancy bathrooms and I especially refuse to use gender neutral bathrooms. The only exceptions are my own personal bathroom at home, at my parents, a friend's house or if I am in public and a porta potty is the only thing there for me to use. . . .  I was upset recently because my gender therapist's office replaced the men's and women's rooms with two family bathrooms. I think they made a mistake in doing that. I refuse to use them simply for that reason. I will go somewhere else that has a women's room or wait until I return home.

I think most folks here don't mind using family/unisex/gender-neutral restrooms where they are available.  For me, if I need to relieve myself, I'm pretty glad to have a safe, secure, and convenient place to do it.  The idea of passing up a unisex, single-stall restroom and holding it in for maybe another hour until I can get somewhere with a women's restroom has no attraction to me.  I don't feel like less of a woman because of the sign on the door.

I've always preferred using the non gendered disabled toilet. It's private instead of a cubicle. And it's big, so you can let your shopping bags fall all over the floor. Feel a bit guilty if I come out to find a disabled person actually waiting, but that's it.