Site News and Information => Introductions => Topic started by: Alex Forbes on June 07, 2016, 10:20:35 PM Return to Full Version
Title: Hello from DC!
Post by: Alex Forbes on June 07, 2016, 10:20:35 PM
Post by: Alex Forbes on June 07, 2016, 10:20:35 PM
Hello everyone :)
I started crossdressing in 1978 or 1979, when I was around 10 years old. I tried on a pair of my cousin's opaque black tights. She is a year younger than me, and, interestingly enough because I just made the connection as I write this, her name is Alexandra. It fascinates me to wonder why I tried on those tights in the first place. It wasn't because I wanted to be a girl. It was probably a proxy for sexual exploration. Needless to say, it gave me a thrill. Perhaps because the act was done in secret and had an element of danger about it, I felt a buzz. In that act, I had ventured into a strange and wondrous place. My life would never be the same. In many ways, I suppose, Alex began to stir on that day over three decades ago.
Throughout my teen years, I would secretly try on various clothes belonging to my mother since she was the only female around (I rarely saw my cousin, and when I did there was no opportunity to try on her stuff). I never had the chance to dress "full up," only parts at a time and I did not have access to a wig. My mom also wore very little makeup and her wardrobe was boring, especially for a European woman in the 1980s. One day, I think it was in 1985 or so, my stash was found. I was deeply ashamed and humiliated, and I can only imagine what my parents thought. Indeed, they were not pleased, and I received the silent treatment for a long time. I shudder when I think of that time. It was the worst period of my life; which is to say I have a good life because if that's the worst of it thus far I should consider myself fortunate.
I eventually resumed dressing, of course, but it was very sporadic. In 1987, I found myself alone in the house for a few hours, so I dressed as "full up" as I could, which means everything but a wig. I tried to style my longish hair, and I wore my mom's yellow dress. Wow. I felt awesome. And that was it. A few months later I left for the military. I never dressed in the military.
As the years ticked by, the seed that would become Alex grew a bit. Girlfriends came and went, college came and went, and jobs would come and go as I moved along in my career. In 2005, I lost about 50 pounds due to food poisoning. What a nightmare. On the other hand, I discovered I could wear a size 8 or even a size 6! So, in 2006, after I moved to a new location, I decided to go "full up." I went all out and purchased all manner of girly goodness. I spent perhaps $1,000 online (thank goodness for the Internet). I bought several wigs, as I had not done that before and had no idea what would look good. I also bought breast forms. The combination of wigs and breast forms, for me the quintessential elements of femininity at the time, was almost too much for my heart to handle. I dressed up in some kind of skirt suit, because as my friends already know I have a penchant for the corporate look. With clothes and makeup on, I put on my first wig. I was a redhead for the first time, kind of shoulder length with a slight wave. I thought I looked hot. So, I looked at myself in the mirror and wandered about the apartment. I practiced walking around in heels. The swishing sound created by my nyloned legs rubbing against each other was divine. I could even detect a slight bounce in my silicone bosom. But then, I got bored. A bored crossdresser is a dangerous crossdresser. I decided to go for a drive, and thankfully I had an attached garage at the time, meaning the chances of being exposed to neighbors was low. What a thrill! I could not believe what I was doing.
But the red hair didn't feel right. I felt "off" somehow. I tried on the other wigs until I settled on a bob. And there she was. Alex was born. Except at the time, I had no name for this startling new creature in my life. That would come later. I realized I had a digital camera, and that with a tripod I could take photos of myself in an effort to evaluate my appearance and manner. At first, the photos were disappointing. I looked really idiotic. But the photos served their purpose because I now had references to help polish my look. Finally, I took a series of successful photos with me wearing a pink outfit (the first photo in my Flickr stream, for example). I was very happy. I didn't look idiotic any more. I looked like a girl. Now, as far as walking and talking, forget about it!
I went online to see if other people did similar things, and to find out more. I was worried I had a mental illness, and my initial search revealed all manner of horrid fetishy crap that didn't help. Finally, I found several crossdressers who really knew what they were doing. They were elegantly dressed, and their makeup and hair were perfect. At this point, a competitive quality to the crossdressing emerged, and the idea that this thing I did was a hobby or craft became real. Whereas as a kid I dressed for sexual reasons, now I dressed for artistic pleasure. It was challenging and creative and fun and a faux pas. All the things an artist likes to play with. By going online, I discovered Yahoo and Flickr, where I found that crossdressing could be an art. I recall being so impressed and intimidated by a few individuals. I wanted to reach out to them for advice and acceptance. In order to do so, I needed a name so I could get an account and email address. Andrea Michelle Forbes came out of my head rather quickly (Andrea was my first girlfriend in high school). I later changed my name to Alex, since I've always liked that name.
Later in 2006, I even went to the Southern Comfort Conference down the street from my home (imagine the fortune). It was during that conference that I decided to go out in public for the first time (not counting buzzing around in my getaway car earlier in the year). Damn, that was exhilarating! I sat in my car in the hotel parking lot for 45 minutes before mustering the courage to get out and walk through the hotel to the conference rooms. I remember being slightly panicked because once in the hotel I didn't see any obvious signage or directions for SCC. I kept walking, and found the signs pointing to the escalators. On the way down, I looked down at my gray skirt, smooth legs, gray pumps, and the grating of the escalator step. I remember thinking, "If my mom could see me now..." What a happy, unreal day that was. I have since moved to another city, but try to make SCC each year.
I started crossdressing in 1978 or 1979, when I was around 10 years old. I tried on a pair of my cousin's opaque black tights. She is a year younger than me, and, interestingly enough because I just made the connection as I write this, her name is Alexandra. It fascinates me to wonder why I tried on those tights in the first place. It wasn't because I wanted to be a girl. It was probably a proxy for sexual exploration. Needless to say, it gave me a thrill. Perhaps because the act was done in secret and had an element of danger about it, I felt a buzz. In that act, I had ventured into a strange and wondrous place. My life would never be the same. In many ways, I suppose, Alex began to stir on that day over three decades ago.
Throughout my teen years, I would secretly try on various clothes belonging to my mother since she was the only female around (I rarely saw my cousin, and when I did there was no opportunity to try on her stuff). I never had the chance to dress "full up," only parts at a time and I did not have access to a wig. My mom also wore very little makeup and her wardrobe was boring, especially for a European woman in the 1980s. One day, I think it was in 1985 or so, my stash was found. I was deeply ashamed and humiliated, and I can only imagine what my parents thought. Indeed, they were not pleased, and I received the silent treatment for a long time. I shudder when I think of that time. It was the worst period of my life; which is to say I have a good life because if that's the worst of it thus far I should consider myself fortunate.
I eventually resumed dressing, of course, but it was very sporadic. In 1987, I found myself alone in the house for a few hours, so I dressed as "full up" as I could, which means everything but a wig. I tried to style my longish hair, and I wore my mom's yellow dress. Wow. I felt awesome. And that was it. A few months later I left for the military. I never dressed in the military.
As the years ticked by, the seed that would become Alex grew a bit. Girlfriends came and went, college came and went, and jobs would come and go as I moved along in my career. In 2005, I lost about 50 pounds due to food poisoning. What a nightmare. On the other hand, I discovered I could wear a size 8 or even a size 6! So, in 2006, after I moved to a new location, I decided to go "full up." I went all out and purchased all manner of girly goodness. I spent perhaps $1,000 online (thank goodness for the Internet). I bought several wigs, as I had not done that before and had no idea what would look good. I also bought breast forms. The combination of wigs and breast forms, for me the quintessential elements of femininity at the time, was almost too much for my heart to handle. I dressed up in some kind of skirt suit, because as my friends already know I have a penchant for the corporate look. With clothes and makeup on, I put on my first wig. I was a redhead for the first time, kind of shoulder length with a slight wave. I thought I looked hot. So, I looked at myself in the mirror and wandered about the apartment. I practiced walking around in heels. The swishing sound created by my nyloned legs rubbing against each other was divine. I could even detect a slight bounce in my silicone bosom. But then, I got bored. A bored crossdresser is a dangerous crossdresser. I decided to go for a drive, and thankfully I had an attached garage at the time, meaning the chances of being exposed to neighbors was low. What a thrill! I could not believe what I was doing.
But the red hair didn't feel right. I felt "off" somehow. I tried on the other wigs until I settled on a bob. And there she was. Alex was born. Except at the time, I had no name for this startling new creature in my life. That would come later. I realized I had a digital camera, and that with a tripod I could take photos of myself in an effort to evaluate my appearance and manner. At first, the photos were disappointing. I looked really idiotic. But the photos served their purpose because I now had references to help polish my look. Finally, I took a series of successful photos with me wearing a pink outfit (the first photo in my Flickr stream, for example). I was very happy. I didn't look idiotic any more. I looked like a girl. Now, as far as walking and talking, forget about it!
I went online to see if other people did similar things, and to find out more. I was worried I had a mental illness, and my initial search revealed all manner of horrid fetishy crap that didn't help. Finally, I found several crossdressers who really knew what they were doing. They were elegantly dressed, and their makeup and hair were perfect. At this point, a competitive quality to the crossdressing emerged, and the idea that this thing I did was a hobby or craft became real. Whereas as a kid I dressed for sexual reasons, now I dressed for artistic pleasure. It was challenging and creative and fun and a faux pas. All the things an artist likes to play with. By going online, I discovered Yahoo and Flickr, where I found that crossdressing could be an art. I recall being so impressed and intimidated by a few individuals. I wanted to reach out to them for advice and acceptance. In order to do so, I needed a name so I could get an account and email address. Andrea Michelle Forbes came out of my head rather quickly (Andrea was my first girlfriend in high school). I later changed my name to Alex, since I've always liked that name.
Later in 2006, I even went to the Southern Comfort Conference down the street from my home (imagine the fortune). It was during that conference that I decided to go out in public for the first time (not counting buzzing around in my getaway car earlier in the year). Damn, that was exhilarating! I sat in my car in the hotel parking lot for 45 minutes before mustering the courage to get out and walk through the hotel to the conference rooms. I remember being slightly panicked because once in the hotel I didn't see any obvious signage or directions for SCC. I kept walking, and found the signs pointing to the escalators. On the way down, I looked down at my gray skirt, smooth legs, gray pumps, and the grating of the escalator step. I remember thinking, "If my mom could see me now..." What a happy, unreal day that was. I have since moved to another city, but try to make SCC each year.
Title: Re: Hello from DC!
Post by: V M on June 07, 2016, 10:28:42 PM
Post by: V M on June 07, 2016, 10:28:42 PM
Hi Alex :icon_wave:
Welcome to Susan's :) Glad to have you here, join on in the fun
Here's a few quick links to help you along
Please be sure to review
Hugs
V M
Welcome to Susan's :) Glad to have you here, join on in the fun
Here's a few quick links to help you along
Please be sure to review
Things that you should read
Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By (http://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html) | Standard Terms & Definitions (http://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,54369.0.html) | Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar) (http://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,114.0.html.) |
Reputation rules (http://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,18960.0.html) | News posting & quoting guidelines (http://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,174951.0.html) | Photo, avatars, & signature images policy (http://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,59974.msg383866.html#msg383866) |
Hugs
V M
Title: Re: Hello from DC!
Post by: Dena on June 07, 2016, 10:32:50 PM
Post by: Dena on June 07, 2016, 10:32:50 PM
Welcome to Susan's Place. While we have a cross dresser section, feel free to explore and post in the rest of the site. Often help can be found in many areas on the site and I often find my self in the FTM section because I may know that little detail that somebody is looking for. We have others who attend the SCC and that's where I first heard about it. Expect a visit from at least one of the members.
Title: Re: Hello from DC!
Post by: FTMax on June 07, 2016, 10:33:44 PM
Post by: FTMax on June 07, 2016, 10:33:44 PM
Welcome! I live in DC as well :)
Title: Re: Hello from DC!
Post by: Amber42 on June 08, 2016, 10:36:13 AM
Post by: Amber42 on June 08, 2016, 10:36:13 AM
What a great story. Welcome Alex. Many things in your life ring true for me and I'm certain for several here at Susan's.
Not sure if it will happen, but I am very looking forward to attending the Southern comfort conference this year. It would be my first ever. I've never even been out of the house, even in a car. Although it kinda scares me to death, there's something inside of me that needs to take those first steps.
Look forward to hearing more from you.
:-)
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Not sure if it will happen, but I am very looking forward to attending the Southern comfort conference this year. It would be my first ever. I've never even been out of the house, even in a car. Although it kinda scares me to death, there's something inside of me that needs to take those first steps.
Look forward to hearing more from you.
:-)
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk