Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I'm not sure all at which on line sites are the best, no idea really. Any suggestions are greatly appreciate. I live in a rural area so I cannot just drop down to the local LGBT club & pick up a nice man like years ago. Thanks so much.

On the other side of the fence, but I had some luck with OkCupid. They do have inclusive gender and orientation options if you want to put everything out there, which may help you filter your responses to people who are actually interested.

Quote from: FTMax on June 18, 2016, 06:37:01 PM
On the other side of the fence, but I had some luck with OkCupid. They do have inclusive gender and orientation options if you want to put everything out there, which may help you filter your responses to people who are actually interested.

Thanks, do not try Be Naughty, what a stupid site.............stupid.

It's a problem isn't it. You can't really just go to a gay bar for it anyway - the men in there are gay. You're a straight woman. You don't have/can't give what they want.

I don't know American sites, but over here I got the impression the men looking for 'pre-op' probably aren't the kind of men you really want around anyway. Although I met one who seemed decent enough and able to focus on other topics of conversation - the news, his views on events, his football team, my postgrad, etc. Quite happy to have him over again. Young and good looking. Not hugely ambitious or imaginative, but thoughtful and decent.

Less so the one who turned up in a black Ferrari which I was thrilled by. And who then spent the dinner he took me to speaking about how his wife didn't have time for him, his daughter was Downs Syndrome and so he didn't get any attention at home - even though he'd extended the swimming pool she wanted done, blah, blah, blah. I was pretty horrified at how tacky and cliched it all was. He kept trying to discuss sex and operations and the rest while the main was barely on the table. The room he'd booked near the restaurant went unused I can assure you.

Try a holiday in the Middle East or North Africa. Seriously. There isn't really an LGBT culture, because there isn't a public straight v gay dichotomy. You're either active or passive (with women obviously being 'passive' for that purpose). Sounds like you've always been the latter, so you'll have your pick, and they're very good looking.

Quote from: FrancisAnn on June 18, 2016, 06:47:19 PM
Thanks, do not try Be Naughty, what a stupid site.............stupid.

Have you considered just leaving it until 'after', and then going on/out as a woman looking for a man?

What is Be Naughty? It sounds like something someone with a weight problem might say when they try to tempt you into eating the double helpings of pudding that they're about to tuck into.

It's better to finish my GRS, heal up then just find a simple well endowed heterosexual man. I thought I'd have a little summer fling before hand but it's too much trouble. Dating sites just want your card # to debit, doubt you could ever stop them once they have your account #.

I dunno about where to find good men... I'm still wondering where I can find a woman. @.@ Seems even harder to me, since I get men chasing after me plenty, although not for any good reasons. The only somewhat respectable looking one that I've seen so far is probably okcupid though.

It's so complicated.....for me anyway there are boo coo men that love a sexy attractive mtF woman. I've dated a dozen or so of them that just loved me.  But it's so hard to find them though these fixed "man/woman, gay/straight" stupid dating sites....

There does seem to be a fair amount of guys who are just looking to cop a bit of sex off of us and I generally tend to ignore those types

What bothers me is when a guy messages me a load of lovey dovey stuff about how attracted they are to me but then...

a) They don't actually want to put much effort to the relationship or...

b) Upon realizing that I actually am a trans woman they say something like "Oh sorry, I thought you were actually a (genetic) woman"

It really kinda grinds my gears and I think to myself "Then why the hecks are you visiting a transgender dating site and chatting up trans women who state in their profile that they are in fact a pre-op trans woman?"  :icon_poke:

Although I may feel like either backhanding or slapping them across the head I usually just quit responding 

It's always tricky. I just set up OK Cupid, laid it all out, we'll see.   None of this is easy for sure. The hardest part for me when I dated was to sort out the gay men. I told all only dominate heterosexual men need reply. Then all the time some man would turn gay on me & want me to be gay with him, I kicked him out so quick. I'm a woman that loves being with a strong man.   But there are nice men out there. I found several of them years before. This is kind of a fling before my GRS later this year. I just need to be with a man for a while.   For me if a man just wanted some sex that was fine, all I wanted from him was some good sex nothing serious.

Quote from: alex82 on June 18, 2016, 07:59:02 PM
It's a problem isn't it. You can't really just go to a gay bar for it anyway - the men in there are gay. You're a straight woman. You don't have/can't give what they want.

I don't know American sites, but over here I got the impression the men looking for 'pre-op' probably aren't the kind of men you really want around anyway. Although I met one who seemed decent enough and able to focus on other topics of conversation - the news, his views on events, his football team, my postgrad, etc. Quite happy to have him over again. Young and good looking. Not hugely ambitious or imaginative, but thoughtful and decent.

Less so the one who turned up in a black Ferrari which I was thrilled by. And who then spent the dinner he took me to speaking about how his wife didn't have time for him, his daughter was Downs Syndrome and so he didn't get any attention at home - even though he'd extended the swimming pool she wanted done, blah, blah, blah. I was pretty horrified at how tacky and cliched it all was. He kept trying to discuss sex and operations and the rest while the main was barely on the table. The room he'd booked near the restaurant went unused I can assure you.

Try a holiday in the Middle East or North Africa. Seriously. There isn't really an LGBT culture, because there isn't a public straight v gay dichotomy. You're either active or passive (with women obviously being 'passive' for that purpose). Sounds like you've always been the latter, so you'll have your pick, and they're very good looking.

Decent idea to holiday in North Africa. I have been in Morocco and there one has to be careful who one reveals one is trans to. Most of the time in an Arab land it is best I have just presented as woman never mind the trans part and that is how I have been taken while in Arab lands. There is some danger if one reveals one is trans -- legal risk and cultural un-acceptance risk. Misgendering rarely has come up for me while in Arab lands because people (except the man you want to date) won't accept that I am anything other than a woman in Arab lands -- a lot of people won't accept the trans part if they find out, except your man you are dating and even then he cannot just generally blurt it out to everyone that you are trans, either.

Also, in Morocco, if you cannot show evidence of being married, hotels in general will NOT allow you to register in the same room. A trans girl -- while not mentioning she is trans just presenting as woman with female gender passport and name like me -- and Arab male date must register for SEPARATE HOTEL ROOMS. Then you sneak over to the other person's room for sexual fun. So your hotel costs are double, if you are using hotels.

Jennifer xx

Arab men want a lady who is "bottom" or "passive" that is for darn sure correct. I am very strongly a "bottom" girl so this is perfect for me.

OK Cupid seems nice for maybe a local man, practicing up the 3 little words, hahaha I'm excited & giggly like a little girl. I bet I have some nice men reply, I'm really a very sexy attractive confident woman & I sure know how to satisfy a man in bed & in the kitchen.

I prefer Facebook. One has to comply with Facebook standards on photos.

I get about 30 to 120 new requests for friendship on Facebook every day. Around 90% of those requests are from men from around the world. Developed countries men and developing countries men in multiple languages.

This gives me a wide variety of men to choose from for real life in-person as well as online flirting.

Since becoming Jennifer full-time I've had real-life in-person sexual relations with about 40 adult men. More than 30 of these came from my profile on adult-type websites. The rest of my in-person sexual dates came as a result of men I met on Facebook or from personal referrals to men that female friends hooked me up with on a blind date. Again, if you use Facebook to meet men just be sure to follow Facebook community standards. Caution: Facebook will warn you then BAR you if you show your nipples. Be forewarned about that one.

If you want to get dates with men using overtly sexual content, you would be better off using an adult website to find your male dates. There are many out there on the Internet. Also younger people use rather sexual ones such as Snapchat and Tinder nowadays so those are available too.

As to marriage, well it appears I am close to having a great man as a real-life fiance. This man comes originally from Facebook. If this works out he will pay my international relocation costs but probably he will shortly make an international trip to meet me in person. All going well he will take me back with him to his home country for me to be his loving housewife. Or I might travel separately a month or two later to be with him full-time.

Hundreds of men online want dates with me, and a few dozen online have proposed marriage to me. But you know men think differently from us ladies, so be careful out there. Don't get taken advantage of. Also it is easy for a man to lie online so really watch out for that.

I have NEVER accepted a real-world romantic sexual date with a man from online without first many phone talks and/or videocalls. I advise this as a sensible security precaution for YOUR protection.

I feel I have finally met Mr. Right. If so, he will be my ONLY man for the rest of my life.

Jennifer xx

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi61.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh60%2FJennifer_Lopezgomez%2FWIN_20160605_15_10_49_Pro_zps3bctxdow.jpg&hash=84c0bd31edc40162589faa6dbb43747ca1c6e739) (http://s61.photobucket.com/user/Jennifer_Lopezgomez/media/WIN_20160605_15_10_49_Pro_zps3bctxdow.jpg.html)

Quote from: alex82 on June 18, 2016, 07:59:02 PM
Try a holiday in the Middle East or North Africa. Seriously. There isn't really an LGBT culture, because there isn't a public straight v gay dichotomy. You're either active or passive (with women obviously being 'passive' for that purpose). Sounds like you've always been the latter, so you'll have your pick, and they're very good looking.

This is very interesting what you just said... for several reasons. Do you feel that a public straight v gay dichotomy is actually detrimental for acceptance? that is what I loosely read, and it might even be true or confirm my own ideas about it. Here is why I think that: differences in sexual orientation have always existed, and as I heard, LGB's always got a date somehow, regardless of acceptance. It might even mean that this dichotomy is actually detrimental due to dividing people, i.e.: "us against them"

OK that was a minor derailment, to get back on topic:

I did make use of dating sites: OK Cupid, and POF. But I found no-one through them. Then I tried the mobile way: Tinder,  Jaumo, Pink etc... but the majority of these interests were aimed at intimate encounters, which isn't what I'm looking for. So I quit dating online altogether. These days I don't actively look. I just wait and see if someone will approach me, because in all fairness I'm tired of being the one who has to approach.

My experience on dating sites: When I did not say I was T, I got swamped with messages. When I changed my profile and stated that I was T: I only got a handful of reactions, which all more or less read: "That's brave of you, you look good... but I can't"

2 cherry. I know. But men get upset & rightly so if you spring it on them that your body is not correct for sex or at least all the men I dated did. So I just said I'm a mtF woman & proud of it.......if a man replies great....It's such a tricky step, I've been through it so many times to sort through men to find the right one. Maybe one day I should keep a man....I plan my GRS in maybe 6 months but this will be good for me to be with a man now, oral sex, cooking for him, being treated as a woman again......by a dominate man.  Good luck to all of us girl friends

In my 20's I was a hottie, men had no idea I was not a natural woman so that was great but oh me they got so upset & mean if I teased them along then told them I was T without a vagina....& we could only have oral sex. I was lucky some did not beat me up. So now no matter what I tell all who I am, it's much safer with aggressive men.

Quote from: FrancisAnn on June 19, 2016, 08:33:52 AM
2 cherry. I know. But men get upset & rightly so if you spring it on them that your body is not correct for sex or at least all the men I dated did. So I just said I'm a mtF woman & proud of it.......if a man replies great....It's such a tricky step, I've been through it so many times to sort through men to find the right one. Maybe one day I should keep a man....I plan my GRS in maybe 6 months but this will be good for me to be with a man now, oral sex, cooking for him, being treated as a woman again......by a dominate man.  Good luck to all of us girl friends

U2 FrancisAnn. Like you, I prefer a dominant man. My pending fiance is definitely dominant and he basically wants me to be his classy lady in public and his slutty whore in private. Indeed I will do this for him. This makes me feel SO happy and girly.

Jennifer xx

Quote from: FrancisAnn on June 19, 2016, 08:33:52 AM
2 cherry. I know. But men get upset & rightly so if you spring it on them that your body is not correct for sex or at least all the men I dated did. So I just said I'm a mtF woman & proud of it.......if a man replies great....It's such a tricky step, I've been through it so many times to sort through men to find the right one. Maybe one day I should keep a man....I plan my GRS in maybe 6 months but this will be good for me to be with a man now, oral sex, cooking for him, being treated as a woman again......by a dominate man.  Good luck to all of us girl friends

If a man doesn't know from my profile that I am a pre-op trans lady, I tell him that within the first 10 minutes or so. Always. Why waste my time or his time, and why risk being physically attacked when he expects a vagina and doesn't get one ?? Not worth the time-wasting or physical risk.

If he doesn't like it...NEXT.....

Jennifer xx

Quote from: 2cherry on June 19, 2016, 06:33:15 AM
This is very interesting what you just said... for several reasons. Do you feel that a public straight v gay dichotomy is actually detrimental for acceptance? that is what I loosely read, and it might even be true or confirm my own ideas about it. Here is why I think that: differences in sexual orientation have always existed, and as I heard, LGB's always got a date somehow, regardless of acceptance. It might even mean that this dichotomy is actually detrimental due to dividing people, i.e.: "us against them"

OK that was a minor derailment, to get back on topic:

I did make use of dating sites: OK Cupid, and POF. But I found no-one through them. Then I tried the mobile way: Tinder,  Jaumo, Pink etc... but the majority of these interests were aimed at intimate encounters, which isn't what I'm looking for. So I quit dating online altogether. These days I don't actively look. I just wait and see if someone will approach me, because in all fairness I'm tired of being the one who has to approach.

My experience on dating sites: When I did not say I was T, I got swamped with messages. When I changed my profile and stated that I was T: I only got a handful of reactions, which all more or less read: "That's brave of you, you look good... but I can't"

I think it is probably detrimental, and it can enforce difference.

This may be controversial, but there is a lot to be said for the attitude that what you do in private is what you do in private. You might have a laugh about some of it with a couple of close friends, but nobody else really needs the details. They all get the idea - they don't want chapter and verse too.

I've always found that to be the prevalent attitude in most of the Middle East (I haven't been to KSA - so I'd expect that to be different), and it's a little bit more freeing than the zoned areas in western cities, or the idea that once you're in a box, you stay in it, while telling every passer by what's going on in there.

Quote from: JenniferLopezgomez on June 19, 2016, 09:45:07 AM
U2 FrancisAnn. Like you, I prefer a dominant man. My pending fiance is definitely dominant and he basically wants me to be his classy lady in public and his slutty whore in private. Indeed I will do this for him. This makes me feel SO happy and girly.

Jennifer xx

Jennifer, That's great, what could be nicer!!! You lucky girl. Darn in my early years I had some sugar daddies what to "keep" me, why oh why did I not move in & accept being their "wife" woman. I love a dominate man, what other man would you want anyway. I always loved it when out of the blue a man wanted sex, how great to just enjoy him when he was ready for whatever he needed to do..........I have a friend in this group that has a great man, sometimes during her cooking dinner her man goes for a quickie with her bent over a counter, then she goes back to cooking dinner............she loves her man...

Quote from: FrancisAnn on June 19, 2016, 10:41:05 AM
Jennifer, That's great, what could be nicer!!! You lucky girl. Darn in my early years I had some sugar daddies what to "keep" me, why oh why did I not move in & accept being their "wife" woman. I love a dominate man, what other man would you want anyway. I always loved it when out of the blue a man wanted sex, how great to just enjoy him when he was ready for whatever he needed to do..........I have a friend in this group that has a great man, sometimes during her cooking dinner her man goes for a quickie with her bent over a counter, then she goes back to cooking dinner............she loves her man...

Indeed girl friend -- well this particular man I am sure wants a quickie bent over counter with me while I would be cooking his dinner -- he has already told me he wants quickies with him and me in his professional office when I  would visit him often during work hours. He is the dominant boss so he has this power in his professional office. Hmnnn I love it !!!!!

Jennifer xx

A bit much. X rated Mills & Boon stuff now.

Have either of you thought of forging your own career?

Normal girl talk, these things happen in real life. I think it's good for us to share life's events. We are all big girls I hope.

Anyway, I'm done, no more messages please.

Quote from: alex82 on June 19, 2016, 11:13:44 AM
A bit much. X rated Mills & Boon stuff now.

Have either of you thought of forging your own career?

If you are blushing, go buy a newspaper & read the funnies. I could share a lot more x rated real life experiences than this....

Quote from: FrancisAnn on June 19, 2016, 11:58:30 AM
If you are blushing, go buy a newspaper & read the funnies. I could share a lot more x rated real life experiences than this....

So could I.

I'm not blushing. You asked - and I told you where to go to get easily laid.

OK Cupid works very well, it's easy to control who sees our profile, block the losers.......easy to set up. All & all a very good means to discretely find men to date. I've already had several decent men reply.

Quote from: alex82 on June 19, 2016, 10:04:36 AM
I think it is probably detrimental, and it can enforce difference.

This may be controversial, but there is a lot to be said for the attitude that what you do in private is what you do in private. You might have a laugh about some of it with a couple of close friends, but nobody else really needs the details. They all get the idea - they don't want chapter and verse too.

I've always found that to be the prevalent attitude in most of the Middle East (I haven't been to KSA - so I'd expect that to be different), and it's a little bit more freeing than the zoned areas in western cities, or the idea that once you're in a box, you stay in it, while telling every passer by what's going on in there.

Interesting!

Maybe there is a good point in having taboo's ? A taboo seems to prevent social incohesion, where the everyday structure isn't bothered by excesses or too much differences that distract from a common goal or purpose. Similar like the practices of religion that seems to be "invented" as a kind of glue, for social and hierarchical purposes.

This truly makes me re-think the concepts of acceptance, visibility and accentuating differences instead of what we should be doing: seek similarities instead of differences.

Anyway, back on topic.  ;)

Quote from: 2cherry on June 19, 2016, 05:45:52 PM
Interesting!

Maybe there is a good point in having taboo's ? A taboo seems to prevent social incohesion, where the everyday structure isn't bothered by excesses or too much differences that distract from a common goal or purpose. Similar like the practices of religion that seems to be "invented" as a kind of glue, for social and hierarchical purposes.

This truly makes me re-think the concepts of acceptance, visibility and accentuating differences instead of what we should be doing: seek similarities instead of differences.

Anyway, back on topic.  ;)

I don't know, it is interesting. I'm not sure about taboos being good for us. They're pretty hideous if you fall outwith.

Ultimately it's great that people can express themselves, which is where those countries fall down.

Men, can't live with them & can't live without them. OK Cupid works fine but men? One wanted me to meet him tonight hotel room to take care of his needs asap. Another man wanted to go slow dancing with me dressed nice in a dress & see where that takes us. I like both types really.

Quote from: FrancisAnn on June 20, 2016, 04:37:52 PM
Men, can't live with them & can't live without them. OK Cupid works fine but men? One wanted me to meet him tonight hotel room to take care of his needs asap. Another man wanted to go slow dancing with me dressed nice in a dress & see where that takes us. I like both types really.

I like both types of men also Francis Ann. TBH more of my in-person dates with men have been of the first type you mentioned. Pleasing men brings me great happiness.  :)

There is another type of date I did quite often in 2015. This is where I lived with a man for anywhere from a couple of days to a month and basically I was his housewife in one form or another. Sometimes I paid my own food but the man provided the roof.  I did this with several men I initially met online, so yes this is possible too. Not all the relationships worked out perfectly, but I wasn't raped or attacked ever. Mostly it was quite fun. I tend to attract nice gentleman it seems -- having verbal eloquence seems to attract a more gentlemanly type of man for me.

Now what I really prefer though is to find my husband Mr. Right. I have many candidates but one in particular stands out. I'll be confirming a lot more about my relationship with HIM in the next couple of weeks. This feels like it COULD be for the rest of my life.  :)

We will soon see. To protect myself I will be sharing only SOME of the details online since I already share online too many details of my real life. But certainly I will share at least some of it here, and other places online.

I will probably get my boob job next week !!!!!

Jennifer xx