Community Conversation => Transitioning => Real-Life Experience => Topic started by: Richenda on June 22, 2016, 04:36:39 AM Return to Full Version
Title: How hurtful was this? "You look ******* scary with your massive shoulders & wrinkly face" (Quote)
Post by: Richenda on June 22, 2016, 04:36:39 AM
Post by: Richenda on June 22, 2016, 04:36:39 AM
Last year someone I was at school with got in touch with me on social media. When we met up he was rather surprised by my appearance but at the time didn't say too much. A little later he made a derogatory remark about the LGBGT community.
Maybe I should have dropped him then.
But I didn't. We continued to meet up sometimes but things were 'tense.' He didn't make effort to understand transitioning and criticised me for doing so. He was always obsessed with how people look: be that transgender or women.
Well it culminated today in him saying the subject quote of this topic: 'you look ******* scary with your massive shoulders and wrinkly face'. That's me in the profile pic: a quick snap one evening a few weeks ago without wearing a wig or having had my hair done.
I tried not to throw any insults back and walked away. But I've defriended him on Facebook.
The fact that none of my friends agree with him and have made lovely comments, the fact that I haven't even begun any surgery yet (be that BA, SRS or FFS), the fact that I am totally against a looks obsessed approach to transgender life doesn't alter the fact:
I'm wounded. I'm really hurt by what he chose to say.
As a general rule I've noticed that cis-females are fabulous towards me. The only hassles and aggro I've ever had has come from blokes. But I'm still hurt. Really really hurt. I guess I've come here to say so :(
Mod Edit:Language
Maybe I should have dropped him then.
But I didn't. We continued to meet up sometimes but things were 'tense.' He didn't make effort to understand transitioning and criticised me for doing so. He was always obsessed with how people look: be that transgender or women.
Well it culminated today in him saying the subject quote of this topic: 'you look ******* scary with your massive shoulders and wrinkly face'. That's me in the profile pic: a quick snap one evening a few weeks ago without wearing a wig or having had my hair done.
I tried not to throw any insults back and walked away. But I've defriended him on Facebook.
The fact that none of my friends agree with him and have made lovely comments, the fact that I haven't even begun any surgery yet (be that BA, SRS or FFS), the fact that I am totally against a looks obsessed approach to transgender life doesn't alter the fact:
I'm wounded. I'm really hurt by what he chose to say.
As a general rule I've noticed that cis-females are fabulous towards me. The only hassles and aggro I've ever had has come from blokes. But I'm still hurt. Really really hurt. I guess I've come here to say so :(
Mod Edit:Language
Title: Re: How hurtful was this? "You look ******* scary with your massive shoulders & wrinkly face" (Quote)
Post by: Ms Grace on June 22, 2016, 05:02:41 AM
Post by: Ms Grace on June 22, 2016, 05:02:41 AM
So sorry to hear that was said to you. Sadly some people are just jerks and they don't care who they hurt by their actions. You did the right thing to just cut him out of your life.
Title: Re: How hurtful was this? "You look ******* scary with your massive shoulders & wrinkly face" (Quote)
Post by: Marlee on June 22, 2016, 06:38:49 AM
Post by: Marlee on June 22, 2016, 06:38:49 AM
Sorry to hear that.
Sometimes it is best to just walk away. Especially with social media since too many make posts just trying to get a reaction (dysfunctional)
as for me, in your profile pic, I see a lovely woman.
Sometimes it is best to just walk away. Especially with social media since too many make posts just trying to get a reaction (dysfunctional)
as for me, in your profile pic, I see a lovely woman.
Title: Re: How hurtful was this? "You look ******* scary with your massive shoulders & wrinkly face" (Quote)
Post by: 2cherry on June 22, 2016, 07:52:16 AM
Post by: 2cherry on June 22, 2016, 07:52:16 AM
Hurtful yes...
Walk away and don't look back. I know it can't be undone and unsaid, so do something nice for yourself and make others earn your friendship from now on.
Walk away and don't look back. I know it can't be undone and unsaid, so do something nice for yourself and make others earn your friendship from now on.
Title: Re: How hurtful was this? "You look ******* scary with your massive shoulders & wrinkly face" (Quote)
Post by: rosinstraya on June 22, 2016, 08:23:53 AM
Post by: rosinstraya on June 22, 2016, 08:23:53 AM
Well you've done the right thing. Such comments are never acceptable. Spend time and energy on the people who care about you.
You look lovely in your pic. :)
You look lovely in your pic. :)
Title: Re: How hurtful was this? "You look ******* scary with your massive shoulders & wrinkly face" (Quote)
Post by: RobynD on June 22, 2016, 06:28:53 PM
Post by: RobynD on June 22, 2016, 06:28:53 PM
Sorry that happened
Toxic and phobic people: Sometimes you just need to cut them loose from your life. I admire your attempting to be friends, I also buy the " best way to defeat enemies is make them your friends" logic, and sometimes that is a lot easier said then done.
Toxic and phobic people: Sometimes you just need to cut them loose from your life. I admire your attempting to be friends, I also buy the " best way to defeat enemies is make them your friends" logic, and sometimes that is a lot easier said then done.
Title: Re: How hurtful was this? "You look ******* scary with your massive shoulders & wrinkly face" (Quote
Post by: Richenda on June 22, 2016, 08:08:25 PM
Post by: Richenda on June 22, 2016, 08:08:25 PM
Thank you ladies for all your lovely comments.
I stayed awake for 3 hours in the night because the words hurt so much. There's some I didn't put down and even those I did have been censored :) 'Freak' was one. It was so so horrible.
Anyway I will try and put it, and him, behind me.
xx
I stayed awake for 3 hours in the night because the words hurt so much. There's some I didn't put down and even those I did have been censored :) 'Freak' was one. It was so so horrible.
Anyway I will try and put it, and him, behind me.
xx