Activism and Politics => Discrimination => Topic started by: dontquestionisaac on June 22, 2016, 08:41:20 AM Return to Full Version
Title: finding a job
Post by: dontquestionisaac on June 22, 2016, 08:41:20 AM
Post by: dontquestionisaac on June 22, 2016, 08:41:20 AM
so it's finally summer and im running low on cash. i just got a car so i have more freedom to get out of the house (i rarely feel safe here), but i need to pay for gas among other things. i had a job for a while but it involved rude customers and transphobic managers and i needed to quit.
but my problem with applying is my deadname. i've got too much of a negative emotional attachment to it, since my parents are continuously making me feel guilty about getting rid of it. as hard as i try i can't even look at it. while we were talking about this yesterday my therapist said it and i completely broke down. it's really hard to get anywhere on applications or even just call and follow up when i'm forced to say that that's my name. it's not my name. if i could, i'd just say screw it and continue on with my life, and out myself once im hired, but that's not even a possibility right now. and after my negative trans-related experiences at my old job, im terrified of what might happen in just looking over my application, and seeing isaac in parentheses next to my deadname. i feel like that's why i haven't been called back for an interview at any of the places i've applied to. im scared they just throw it out once they see that.
does anybody else have any experience with anything like this? i'm really stuck, but i don't want another job where i'm constantly harassed about my genitals. i'm scared, and i could really use some advice.
but my problem with applying is my deadname. i've got too much of a negative emotional attachment to it, since my parents are continuously making me feel guilty about getting rid of it. as hard as i try i can't even look at it. while we were talking about this yesterday my therapist said it and i completely broke down. it's really hard to get anywhere on applications or even just call and follow up when i'm forced to say that that's my name. it's not my name. if i could, i'd just say screw it and continue on with my life, and out myself once im hired, but that's not even a possibility right now. and after my negative trans-related experiences at my old job, im terrified of what might happen in just looking over my application, and seeing isaac in parentheses next to my deadname. i feel like that's why i haven't been called back for an interview at any of the places i've applied to. im scared they just throw it out once they see that.
does anybody else have any experience with anything like this? i'm really stuck, but i don't want another job where i'm constantly harassed about my genitals. i'm scared, and i could really use some advice.
Title: Re: finding a job
Post by: tgchar21 on June 22, 2016, 03:17:22 PM
Post by: tgchar21 on June 22, 2016, 03:17:22 PM
I saw another post where you said that you're age 17. Could you get your parents' permission and have them pay to get your name legally changed? If that's possible I'd recommend it not just for now but for in the future, since if you change it now and have your high school diploma and other background-check-relevant records under the right name you'll thank me later.
Title: Re: finding a job
Post by: dontquestionisaac on June 22, 2016, 04:17:25 PM
Post by: dontquestionisaac on June 22, 2016, 04:17:25 PM
i would, but my parents are extremely unsupportive. they're threatening to take my college fund money if i legally change my name.
Title: Re: finding a job
Post by: FTMax on June 22, 2016, 04:21:19 PM
Post by: FTMax on June 22, 2016, 04:21:19 PM
You can apply for jobs as whoever you want to be. The only time anyone needs to know your legal name is when you are filling out tax-related paperwork. I would put your preferred name on the application/your resume, interview as yourself, and then when you get hired, inform whoever is doing your onboarding paperwork that the name you go by is not your legal name and therefore will not match the government documents you're producing for tax purposes. This should not be an issue.
You may need to explain to them that you are trans and what pronouns to use with you, or you may not. If there are any issues, you can tell them that you have put in to have your name legally changed and didn't want it to get in the way of a job opportunity.
You may need to explain to them that you are trans and what pronouns to use with you, or you may not. If there are any issues, you can tell them that you have put in to have your name legally changed and didn't want it to get in the way of a job opportunity.
Title: Re: finding a job
Post by: dontquestionisaac on June 23, 2016, 09:21:42 AM
Post by: dontquestionisaac on June 23, 2016, 09:21:42 AM
you're serious, i can do that?? that's the greatest news i've heard all day! thank you so much!
Title: Re: finding a job
Post by: FTMax on June 23, 2016, 12:13:03 PM
Post by: FTMax on June 23, 2016, 12:13:03 PM
Quote from: dontquestionisaac on June 23, 2016, 09:21:42 AM
you're serious, i can do that?? that's the greatest news i've heard all day! thank you so much!
Yep, there is no legal issue with it. The only time you absolutely have to list your legal name is if you are filling out a background check request. And even then, that's not going to be something that a manager would see. No one you work directly with would know.
Title: Re: finding a job
Post by: tgchar21 on June 23, 2016, 01:19:17 PM
Post by: tgchar21 on June 23, 2016, 01:19:17 PM
Quote from: FTMax on June 23, 2016, 12:13:03 PM
Yep, there is no legal issue with it. The only time you absolutely have to list your legal name is if you are filling out a background check request. And even then, that's not going to be something that a manager would see. No one you work directly with would know.
You also need to use your legal name for tax withholding purposes (unless you want to risk a possible mismatch with the IRS and/or SSA). ETA: I saw you mentioned that in your first post to this thread.