Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I have several names that I like, some a bit more than others.  How did you choose your name after transitioning?

I knew that I wanted to keep all of my initials the same, so I went to one of those baby name sites and looked up lists of popular boy names for the year I was born, and wrote down anything that started with 'M' and 'A'. Crossed some off immediately, altered some from their generic forms, made different combinations.

The first name came fairly quickly, but I was back and forth about the middle name up until I wrote it on the court documents. There were two that I really liked. Strangers who find out my middle name really like it and think it's very cool. My family thinks it is a bit weird, but they would've thought the other one I liked was weird too.

I also wanted to keep my initials the same, but I didn't want a 'genderbent' name so I went for a different one that started with the same letter. I genderswapped one middle name and kept the other middle name the same, because i feel that it's more unisex (and my name is/ was so long that it often gets dropped from anything less official than my passport anyway).

Baby name websites are pretty great. There are some that will give you a random name/ combination of names if you don't want to scroll through the alphabetical lists. They often give you the meaning of the name, and the origin, and you can see what names were popular in what year/ country so you can pick one that's the right 'age' for you, if that's what you want.

Once you've got a few names, try them out first. Practice writing them, go to one off events with that name, use the name at Starbucks when you're there alone - so you can get an idea of which one feels right.

Also there are many cis people that use their middle names/ change their names - I've got grandparents on both sides and an aunt that changed their names for no real reason other than they liked another one better, and no one objected - so if you pick one and change your mind after you've started to tell people, you can still change it. When/if you change it officially, pick a good middle name/s as a backup! Middle names are also a good place for names you like but feel are a bit outlandish ;)

My name is transitioning with me. I was Stephen at birth. Currently I'm going by Stevie, but when I can change it on paperwork, I'm going with Stephanie. It just seems to be the easiest way and I will have an easier time with not having to have people learn a new name. I'll continue being called Stevie and just use the full name on documents.
Oh, I'm also keeping my middle initial, but changing it to my grandmothers name.
I think the biggest change I'll have is when I marry my partner I plan to take their last name. 

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The main character in a story I'm writing is named Semira.

- S has always been my favorite letter (do people have favorite letters?). So my name would have to start with an S.
- A name whose second letter is a vowel is also pleasing to me. sE
- I prefer names that end in a vowel. And for a female name, I find A to be the most pleasing. se___A
- I like names that can be shortened. Semira can become Semi. Semi by itself still starts with an S, still has a vowel for a second letter, and still ends in a vowel (not an A but that's alright).
- Finally, I like names that are relatively uncommon. In the US, Semira is uncommon. However when I google my birth name including my last name, I come with with tons of people with the same name. Ugh.

Quoting myself from another thread.

I liked Semira to start with and when I gave it some greater thought it fit all of the things I'm looking for in a name.

I looked up the top 100 female names from social security for my decade that I was born in.

From there I made a shortlist pf about 5 names.

As I had already come out to my close family and friends I polled everyone to

A: Get a favorite among those who I spend the most time around.

B. Make sure that no name on the short list had bad associations to them.

This led to a close first and second place, and I picked from those.

For me picking a name was a strategic process.

Wanted my name to have been heard by most of the population, not be ambiguous to gender, be appropriate for the decade I was born in, liked by those in my life, and loved by me.


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For some reason I just like Wendy, just seems right. So I checked the internet for girls names in the year that I was born and sure enough Wendy was in the list. I also knew a Wendy at school when I was kid and she was a little bit of a rebel and I so am I, so it just fits.

My name is basically the male version of my old name. For some reason I really liked having a name starting with L since there aren't many names like that in Finnish and this name just felt right. Middle name had a complete change and it's the same as my grandfather's middle name.
I had the whole thing figured out very early on, even before I had my first appointment at the trans policlinic. It just was very clear for me. I didn't really have to worry about having a name that would stand out from the others born in the same year as me since they're both very common Finnish male names, the middle name having ranked in top 10 boy names for like a hundred years. :P

My wife did. I'm a big person, she must have been thinking of something germanic and she blurted out gertrude one day followed immediately by Trudie and it stuck. Gertrude means strong spear. At one time this was true, with 5 kids. :)


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When I first came out as m2f to a friend, she asked if I would just take the female version of my name. I hadn't thought of that, and I didn't like it anyway, and I had already picked a name I've always liked, so I said "no, but this xxxxx is my new name". My friend really liked it. However, when discussing the issue of what I wanted to be called with my parents, my mother didn't like the name I had picked at all. So I asked her if she had picked a girls name for me back before I was born. She said she had, and told me what the name was, so I immediately said "well that will be my name then". Luckily I hadn't legally changed my name at that point, so it was easy to use the name my mom wanted. I think this helped her accept me as I am now.
But I used the name I had originally picked for myself, as my middle name.
That way we were both happy.

I wanted a very short first name with the same initial I'd been using and that was either one syllable or sounded fine reduced to its first syllable, so that weeded out a lot of options. I was all over with middle name options.

It took a lot of checking baby name sites, rankings for my birth year, and running potential names past my family. I particularly didn't want a name my siblings had bad associations with (or automatic terrible nicknames).

I actually had a first name for myself picked out long before I seriously considered transitioning, but it was knocked out early in name selection for being in use by a young cousin. I wasn't completely sure what I was going to pick until I redid the forms right before taking them to court. I swapped in my original (very common) first name pick and a much less common middle name so the full set would be a bit more identifiable.

I guess I am lucky.  My male name is Terry.  My female name is Terri. Oh, and my middle name is Lee, so that works out quite nicely. :)

~Terri

The names I am liking are:

Artesia Claire
Clarissa Dawn
Larissa May
Arya Jade
Yona Anne

None of which were common in my birth year, if ever.  Funny thing, when I typed my list, I put them in the order of preference.  Without trying to.

Mum choose my name.

I was named after my father who died a few months before I was born, I was named after him and still to this day I'm named after him.

Sophia = Wisdom in Greek.  Still bouncing between spellings. I like the meaning behind the name, as it is appropriate for our situations.

You can try a name out with your friends as a nickname before you commit to it. I started using my middle name and it kind of stuck. I like the name I picked as my new middle name a little better (it has a better nickname) but there are a couple of problems, including who in my family has which name. My name is a little unusual but it always was so I don't mind that. I'm going from "old lady name" to "traditional but less common" and that's okay. Being on the spectrum I'm a little detached from names but I did realize by the end that I totally would mumble my first name such that I was always having to repeat it because I really, really hated my old name. I can say my new name without tripping on it.

Quote from: Maybebaby56 on July 03, 2016, 06:26:26 PM
I guess I am lucky.  My male name is Terry.  My female name is Terri. Oh, and my middle name is Lee, so that works out quite nicely. :)

~Terri

I'd have to say that worked out pretty well!

I decided on Karen over thirty years ago and have long since forgotten the reasons for choosing Karen. My decision to change my last name was to toss out my old identity and spent about a month on a final decision.

So Payne comes from my students (teaching martial arts), most of the labeled me "the giver of pain", seemed fitting so I elected that for my last name along with it sounded good to me.

I spent an epic 10 minutes to decide my name because I already knew what kind of name I wanted and that reduces the list to about 5 names.  I selected the ones I liked the most and now I had decided on Sarina Naomi from what I refer as my legal but utterly disliked by me name of Oliver James.

                                       Love,  Sarina!

Hey Sarina, you have some lovely legs on you girl!
I am well jealous!

Quote from: lordvalantis on July 03, 2016, 09:00:11 PM
The names I am liking are:

Artesia Claire
Clarissa Dawn
Larissa May
Arya Jade
Yona Anne

None of which were common in my birth year, if ever.  Funny thing, when I typed my list, I put them in the order of preference.  Without trying to.

Those are some very beautiful names I know this one girl with the name Remrie and I think that's a very beautiful name she picked out herself. Go crazy it's your name if you like it keep it and go with it!



For myself..
The first part was dropping my Saint Name given to me by my church which was Achillieus. It's funny how I came to terms with Achillieus in the first place since I wasn't open to religion at the time and converted to Roman-Catholic, which I am still today. However it was the first of many names to removed and switched around. I despised my given first and middle, which were Andrew James. I never liked hearing Andy Jane when my family and friends joked around with me about what I was going with. But I did enjoy hearing more of Andy than Andrew + I liked the letter A, but not J for a middle. I told them at the time I couldn't decide and came up with a pseudo name for some years till I could decide. So I told them to call by JP for awhile. First letter in Middle + first letter from my last name. Wasn't a very masculine name in my OP. And quite frankly there are too many Andrews at my work, much more on the planet we live in. My wife Jessebelle always called me Lunabelle for some awkward reason. She knows I work well at night, loved the moon, loved to stare at it and walk out at late nights for midnight stroll in the breezy winds. So Luna fit perfectly, but belle I guess because she kept referring to me as a Southern Belle instead of a Yank LOL. I'm always nice and respectable to people regardless of hate or micro-aggression's towards me. No matter how much someone pushed me away or I pushed someone away, I was always nice to them and easy to be forgiven. So I eventually fell in love with the name. But I wanted it as a middle name and was looking forward for a name that started with an A, so I went with a sadly popular name as well. Ashley Lunabelle P.. Just fit together nicely so I just went with that. ^^

Quote from: Nicole on July 03, 2016, 10:56:14 PM
Mum choose my name.

I was named after my father who died a few months before I was born, I was named after him and still to this day I'm named after him.

Thats a really nice gesture.

I have been working on picking out a name since it really is all I can do until I gain enough confidence to come out.. But I had this one I really loved picked out, sadly I forgot to write it down.

I was unlucky with names though, my parents knew I was going to be born a boy and never picked out any female names. Both my first and middle names are very masculine.

I also decided to not choose any names that are too similar to the names of anyone I know, which kind of cuts out a lot of choices.

Edit: Ironically, I just googled my middle name, and "Davina" comes up as a possible female version... Interesting since my main name for female characters in video games, and my accounts like this one which aren't directly connected to any of my other accounts are that name, just with the "D" removed, and an extra "I".

Wanted to keep my initials but didn't like ANY female names associated with them enough.

So I've had to move them both, and now have two middle names, with Alexis added on the front. I like it because I just always did, it's totally neutral in its shortened form, it's not ridiculous - I don't stumble across it with discomfort. My mother approved it which was vital to me, and I asked her outright to simply decide and tell me what to do with the letter J from one of my middle names. Only fair - she would've been choosing it at the time, not me.

Importantly, it's not out of place for my generation, or (maybe even more crucially for an Englishwoman) for my social background. One or either of those things being off key seems like a neon siren light flashing.

And yet it's just off key enough to have a slightly tacky ring to it which I like - I checked, and Alexis Carrington was introduced as a Dynasty character in 1981, so it's entirely plausible to anyone who makes the link with the pop culture of the 80's that it came from that. A friend of mine is called Charlene, and her mother named her after Charlene Tilton - prominently displayed for much of the decade in the credits of Dallas, so kind of the same idea.

I toyed with 'Annabelle' because I love it, but it really doesn't suit me, despite being both generation and background congruent, and likewise for a couple of others.

There were certain names I had thought I'd like to use if I had a daughter, which I ran through but realized were completely off limits - I'm still annoyed with my sister for using one of the names on my list of top boys names as a middle name for my nephew.

Quote from: Avinia on July 06, 2016, 04:04:09 PM
I have been working on picking out a name since it really is all I can do until I gain enough confidence to come out.. But I had this one I really loved picked out, sadly I forgot to write it down.

I was unlucky with names though, my parents knew I was going to be born a boy and never picked out any female names. Both my first and middle names are very masculine.

I also decided to not choose any names that are too similar to the names of anyone I know, which kind of cuts out a lot of choices.

Edit: Ironically, I just googled my middle name, and "Davina" comes up as a possible female version... Interesting since my main name for female characters in video games, and my accounts like this one which aren't directly connected to any of my other accounts are that name, just with the "D" removed, and an extra "I".

Avinia is a really nice name. 

Kathy and Lauren are derived from my boy names.  Kathy is age-appropriate for my generation.  I don't know if that is my final answer, but it is growing on me. 

When I was around 14, oh God how I hated my puberty years.. in the granny flat crying myself to sleep most nights and wishing for the impossible (and not knowing of any way to change it).  I remember waking on a Saturday morning and knew without a doubt my name wasn't Derek but Veronica Mandy (no surname tho, don't know which one I will use.. I know I won't keep my current one, as I fear my Dad (dont get me wrong, i love my Dad, and he will always be my Dad. mom and dad both have set prejudices and well he cant stand gay/T people...they both do..)and don't want to be easily found, but feel strongly on my ancestral ties, so it may be a derivative.) and My name Veronica rang like a bell thru my whole being down thru to the core of my soul. It was the greatest day for the whole day. my fondest day, even tho no one knew the name till now. I have no expectation on my sis using that till I am ready and well on my way to full time.. heck don't want to confuse kids and I am not ready for it to be used regularly now anyway, it avoids the chances of slip ups. and I don't mind the nicknames and buddy is my family nickname go   .. I love nicknames they show endearment 

here is a meaning "Meaning of Veronica: "she who brings victory; true image" from nameberry.com and checked on other sites.

I guess my soul new then, what i accept now.. ;) :icon_chick:

Quote from: V on July 06, 2016, 06:05:11 AM
Hey Sarina, you have some lovely legs on you girl!
I am well jealous!

Thank you, V!

                                       Love,  Sarina!

Don't mind stating my full name, but it's Christian King.

Was going to keep my last name as my moms, making my dads last name my new middle name to show respect to both sides (dads last name is King as they never married).

However my moms side decided to hate me after coming out and gave me an intense amount of crap. My dads side aren't 100% but are coming around to it and think it's kind of funny cause now, with T getting into my system, I'm looking less like my dads child and more like his brother :D.

So with that I dropped my moms last name, kept the middle name as I couldn't find the imagination to change it (and that would have been way too much work) and took on my dads last name as my own. I've always loved the name Christian, however. Christian and Micheal (not Michael, that's spelled weird to me). I'm not religious, however, so my atheist friends give me crap. It's all in good fun but they like to joke and say things like "Are you the king of Christians now?" and then tell me I betrayed them lol. Otherwise I just go by Chris mostly.

My first name came to me in dreams. I selected my last name from a phone book. I despised the last name of my adoptive parents, so I got rid of it. My ex chose my middle name. I kept the middle name he offered me, because it sounds so nice, and because it ain't worth the court costs to change it anyways.

Really interesting topic! I started out with Richenda which was very close to my natal name Richard. As time has passed I've felt it's too close and doesn't mark sufficiently the transition (for me). So recently I added Rachel as my first name, which I've always loved and which suits me I think and now Richenda is my middle name. I might get around to changing my forum profile at some point.

I'm a writer and I also wanted to be pretentious with 'R R' initials :)

x

Its the name of a character in a anime that i like. I liked the name so i chose that one.
Have considerd other names but eventually went with this one

I looked up the most common baby names from the year I was born and found one I liked. I think this one was ranked number 80. Who knew it would become so popular lol.

Quote from: Sena on July 13, 2016, 04:40:29 PM
Its the name of a character in a anime that i like. I liked the name so i chose that one.
Have considerd other names but eventually went with this one

It's a beautiful name x

Quote from: Sena on July 13, 2016, 04:40:29 PM
Its the name of a character in a anime that i like. I liked the name so i chose that one.
Have considerd other names but eventually went with this one

From Bleach?

Quote from: Raye on July 13, 2016, 11:30:16 PM
From Bleach?

Its from "Boku wa Tomodachi ga Sukunai" (Haganai). Name of the character is "Sena Kashiwazaki".
Also want to change my last name but havent chosen one yet. I am also thinking about a middle name dont have one now but there is one that i like.

Quote from: Sena on July 14, 2016, 07:59:25 AM
Its from "Boku wa Tomodachi ga Sukunai" (Haganai). Name of the character is "Sena Kashiwazaki".

Ahh I guess so! xD

If I were to choose a Japanese name for myself, it would probably be Megumi.

birth name was Dylan, I changed it to Rosa Rivian. I just liked rose only reason

My first name and my middle name are really easy to feminise and pretty much gender neutral so that's what I always use.

I have always loved the name Heather. It sounds lyrical to me and I love the way it sounds when spoken. No other reason.

Thanks to the responses here and in the other thread, I think I am going to use Artesia Claire, Tessa for short.  It just sounds so good, and has been on the top of my list of names that I would want for a while.

If anyone knows how to change the forum name, please let me know, as I would rather use Tessa or Artesia for my forum name rather than what I am currently using.

That name sounds awesome! I'm a bit jealous  :D.

Hopefully someone can assist you there. I'd like to know myself.

Congrats on the new name!

I've been trying to figure out names too. I want Hugh as a first name... it started that I 'borrowed' the name from a fiction character of mine to publish a short story under a different pen name. I've really liked it though. And a gender neutral middle name of my current female name. I'd like that in there for historical reasons and for transition. And a third name because otherwise my first initials are H.R. and who wants that? ;)  Thinking the third name will start with C.

Talking through some of this stuff with my therapist, really interesting stuff so far. I was thinking to get people to call me by the neutral R name during transition and then Hugh. My counsellor thinks I should be called what I want be called, across the board, pen names, legal names, etc. So his vote's for Hugh, lol.

I used Lordvalantis, because it was a character I liked in a game I used to play.  Seeing Artesia on the side near my posts is.......relaxing, that's not right....It feels good, I can't explain it.  I like it, it feels more like me now.

Thank you Dena!

My wife picked the name Brenda. she said I look and act like a Brenda, whatever that means! I always liked the name Connie, but Brenda is ok too.

I did think of a name. Unfortunately it's the name of my "in-laws" dog as well as other people. Or was. I heard he just died. I don't have an issue but it'd probably be weird conjuring memories of their dog every time they talk to me.

It's not far off the sound of my original name, so it doesn't feel that weird. I do feel in two minds still as to if I should change name. I think I probably will, just because why not. People who know me don't have to call me it, I've already got several monikers used IRL by people who met me online and then for real, some of them want to keep using online handles because they're just used to it or whatever. Like nicknames. I might just change it because I feel like something needs to mark my change. Don't want to make a big deal really, but something personal to mark it does feel appropriate and a name change is pretty personal.