Susan's Place Transgender Resources

A close relative of my who is generally supportive and very close to me told me when I said I had to get my hair done because it would make me feel better that it was a "woman thing". I went off on her and it's not like me. It makes me feel very insecure what she said. Millions and probably more men get their hair done and it makes them feel good. Why would there be so many top of line barber's making big money off of men's hair and so many facial hair styles as well if it weren't masculine?

I have another relative that things testosterone won't do anything to me but make me look like a butch woman and that I'll never pass as a man. All the pictures of men who have been on T have unbelievable results and don't even look like the same person. I know transmen that she hasn't met that were once female and no one would ever know.

Would you have been this easily offended by this?

If it was me, yes. But keep in mind I am quite temperamental, and (as much as I hate to admit it) I get pretty "emotional" and "offended" for about two weeks every month :P. And am mentally pretty unstable, so yeah.

As for a hair appointment being a "masculine" or "feminine" thing, I've liked them since I was able to choose what I wanted done with my hair. It gives me a "fresh" feeling. When my mom still dictated what my hair was like as a kid, I hated it. On the other hand, my sister (quite girly, but not the type to wear dresses everywhere) never likes getting her hair cut or hair done up any special way and prefers it just to hang naturally. With my dad it's a 50/50 if he is happy or annoyed, but that has more to do with the hair dresser. If the hair person doesn't suck, he is generally happier afterwards. And my mom is always happy after a hair appointment while my grandma thinks of it more as a nuisance. I think it varies per person, and would probably have been more angry by how sexist that statement was.

And at least from pics I've seen, testosterone won't make you look like a "butch woman" in the end. In the beginning maybe, but most likely not after a few years of use. I think your relative most likely isn't aware of what testosterone can do to a person. Most people aren't going on the internet and looking up "FtM Testosterone Before and After" pictures for example, even if someone close to them is going through this stuff.

Keep in mind I'm pre-everything right now and am not sure if I want to take hormones, so this is just my viewpoint if either of these situations happened to me.

Quote from: alienbodybuilder on July 09, 2016, 10:29:25 PM
A close relative of my who is generally supportive and very close to me told me when I said I had to get my hair done because it would make me feel better that it was a "woman thing". I went off on her and it's not like me. It makes me feel very insecure what she said. Millions and probably more men get their hair done and it makes them feel good. Why would there be so many top of line barber's making big money off of men's hair and so many facial hair styles as well if it weren't masculine?

People often have silly stereotypes burned into their heads. The phrasing "hair done" is often considered feminine as opposed to just "haircut" which is unisex/masculine. The bottom line is that your friend should have known better no matter what words were used. Going off on people is one way to remind them of that!

If it matters to be exact I was talking about dying my own hair at home and saying it would make me feel better to cover my roots. The barber shop is also very important to me.

tbh when people say things like that it's just funny how narrow their world view is, and i start to wonder if they do anything of their own volition or if its entirely because movies and advertising have told them to do it :P

Quote from: alienbodybuilder on July 10, 2016, 12:26:01 AM
If it matters to be exact I was talking about dying my own hair at home and saying it would make me feel better to cover my roots. The barber shop is also very important to me.

For hair dye, I've heard that most people view that as a "feminine" thing as well. :P My dad once said it was different for me if I wanted to dye my hair compared to if he dyed his hair, because he is a guy. I was younger and not "out", but that was his impression. But he still dyes his roots at home and gets his hair dyed on occasion because gray is starting to show through.

Like Peep said, people's views are funny considering most will believe stuff because that is what something or someone told them. I don't think a lot of people like to "think outside of the box" out of their own discomfort. At least that's the case with the people I know who have stereotypical opinions.

Well, women shave their legs mostly because companies producing razors wanted to sell more, so they just marketed razors to women as if that was the done thing - and suddenly everyone thinks needing to have bald legs is something innate to women... A quick look at historical costume tells you what used to be 'womens things' and what used to be 'mens things' -- bearing in mind that this also differs geographically, for example the manly kilt we have here in Scotland, or in Japanese traditions where men's kimono and women's kimono are only slightly different :P

Also bear in mind that younger generations care less about things like colouring hair - there are a lot of cis boys my age who colour their hair and no one thinks anything of it

And then there are all the men in wigs. Oh, toupees... My bad.  :)

Amusingly enough, I am the least hairy person in our household, even though the others are all ciswomen.  Maybe 50 visible dark hairs on me below the neck, outside of the crotch and armpits.  Body shaving for me is a couple minutes a week to touch up the landscaping.  ;)

I know guys like getting a haircut, but what they're probably less likely to do is to say it'll make them feel good. They'll probably just say they need a haircut.

But I wouldn't offend me, after all I've spent half my life listening to assumptions about gender and I've just learned to ignore or laugh at it.

You can see in those commercials how when it comes to "feeling good" about appearance, hair, skin etc. women's products commercials are all about "feeling good". Mens are all about giving you the "closest shave" or whatever nutrients for men's skin etc. etc. I guess we're not supposed to enjoy this stuff, just to buy it because it does a job, lol. Wouldn't take off on your relative though - they seem to have been warning you or letting you know that it was a feminine expression. That can be useful when you're trying to adjust to male mode, to have people who give you a head's up on how the cis think.

I love haircut day. I don't even go to a barber. So no, I don't think it's a "woman thing" to enjoy getting your hair done. It's just nice to feel pampered every now and then.

I think people in general are pretty ignorant to what hormones can do, especially in our case. Transmen are just so less prominent in the media than transwomen. It's pointless to let it get to you, though it can be pretty upsetting.

It's funny to me how much people are willing to believe what they want. I consult for a lot of different businesses, and I stopped into one recently where I hadn't been for a while. One of the lower level workers there did a double take and then promptly told me they knew my sister and they thought it was cool that we worked for the same company. Absolutely flabbergasted when I said I didn't have a sister, and that the person he was thinking of was me. It took a manager of his coming over and verifying that I wasn't playing some strange joke to make him believe it. This isn't the first time something like that has happened to me. For people that never knew me as female, they have no idea.

Testosterone is pretty hardcore. I think your relatives will be surprised how effective it is.

Quote from: T.K.G.W. on July 16, 2016, 04:09:35 PM
I know guys like getting a haircut, but what they're probably less likely to do is to say it'll make them feel good. They'll probably just say they need a haircut.

But I wouldn't offend me, after all I've spent half my life listening to assumptions about gender and I've just learned to ignore or laugh at it.

You can see in those commercials how when it comes to "feeling good" about appearance, hair, skin etc. women's products commercials are all about "feeling good". Mens are all about giving you the "closest shave" or whatever nutrients for men's skin etc. etc. I guess we're not supposed to enjoy this stuff, just to buy it because it does a job, lol. Wouldn't take off on your relative though - they seem to have been warning you or letting you know that it was a feminine expression. That can be useful when you're trying to adjust to male mode, to have people who give you a head's up on how the cis think.

I'm bi polar and was in a bad mood and always reaching for a "coping skill". Because of my bi polar disorder I'm very sensitive to my environment.