Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Just wondering, a lot of trans people tend to go by the masculine or feminine version of the name they already have, wanted to know if that was the case for most of you or whatnot

For me it was finding one of a lot of male names, of course I havent changed yet so I havent settled. Ive been going by my nickname: Val, the elongated version now to be Valentine

Names do not need to be said but examples and explanations are fine and appreciated

It is different for everyone. I wanted to run as far away from my birth name as I could because I didn't want to take a chance wit the female version of my birth name. It also didn't feel right to me. I went with a name that like that was on my radar and that felt right along with resonated with me. In others, it fit me.  I almost sometimes feel the name chose me more than I chose name. You need to find what works with you and your comfortable with. Hugs
Mariah

Oh darn...sorry guys I shouldve checked the other threads first, didnt realize I made a duplicate topic, sorry.

Feel free to lock this or let it go...my bad

No worries, It happens. it gets to be so long and then some of the old threads get buried. Hugs
Mariah

Its a fresh new start and new people come into the forum, who can get overwhelmed at the other threads by their massive posts if they have not kept up with it :) I chose my name by the first initials of my male name and I gave it a lot of thought too, trial and error for fit.

Lucia X  8)

I didn't go with a genderbent version of my birth name just because I don't really like the male version either. I kept my initials the same though because i'm an artist and that's how i sign my work >.>

I don't think there's anything wrong with using a nickname as your name, or using a nickname day to day and picking a new name for legal purposes. if you can't decide, you could always make your nickname a middle name too and so it would be part of your legal name but you wouldn't be stuck having to use it for everything

I wanted something original because my birth name was much too common and I didn't like the male versions of it. I also knew something very masculine sounding wouldn't me as I'm just not a very masculine person. I just randomly found my name on the internet and liked it so that was that. I didn't want the hassle of going through a 1000+ plus names in order to find one I felt truly connected too (which i don't think realistically happens for most people when finding a new name). I also didn't bother with middle names; i had two i was born with but seems pointless and it takes longer to sign your name on stuff.

The only thing I knew going into it was that I wanted to keep my initials the same. I sign my name with just initials, and didn't want to change that up too much. Lazy, I know :)

I also didn't want it to be something that really stood out from other people my age (I'm mid-20s), so knowing those two things, I went to a list of popular baby names from my birth year and wrote down every name that started with 'M' up to like, 500. Immediately crossed a few off, played around with a few variations of ones I liked. I go by Max, but it is the short form of a less common longer name that I chose. If you like cheap coffee, my legal name might be familiar to you.

For the middle name, I still wanted to keep my initials the same, but I got a little more creative. I looked through a list of 'A' names from popular culture (books, movies, games). Cross-referenced everything I liked with where it appeared on the popularity list, just to see how outlandish it would look for someone my age. Chopped the list down to a few that I liked, tried them all with the first name I had chosen, and narrowed it down to 2. It was a really hard choice between them, and I honestly think I would've been happy with either. My family thinks what I chose is weird, but they would've found the other one just as strange if not more so. Strangers who hear it think it is very cool. It is the name of a character from an award-winning, very well known 1960s book.

I have always loved the name Heather. To me it sounds soft and lyrical to say.

the 2nd name on my birth certificate is gender neutral especially in my language, so I went for that even if I didn't really like it, so to ease things up, all my family knows my 2nd first name even if I never used it, and official change will probably be easier

Before I was born my mother was convinced she was having a girl so prepared for such.  One of the first things she did was choose a name which I was told about here and there whilst growing up.  So when I started transitioning it just felt natural for me to use the name Tamara.  I just wish she was still around to find out she was right to begin with.

Well, my name's already gender neutral. I'm really not sure whether to keep it or change it to something more overtly masculine. I'm thinking about making life easier in the future, but given I don't know just how masculine or feminine I will continue to appear, who knows if a neutral name might not be safer. I also thought about changing the last name... I was thinking about how different ethnic groups/nationalities can be recognized easily from those and be discriminated against and I'd like to lessen that if possible, but when it comes down to it, neither my first name nor last name are especially "identifiable" that way.

If I could get away with it I'd rather just call myself "X". Lol.

Beverly was my grandmother's maiden name and was the name my parents had picked out for the first girl but never was used.  Girls in my mother's family were not given a middle name so I picked Ann in honor of my very supportive wife because it's her middle name.  I originally tried to come up with something that worked with my initials but I couldn't find anything I liked and most of my friends agree Beverly suits me. 

Freya came from a character from a writing project I was writing during the time I started to accept all this.

Her name, on the other hand, came from the Scandinavian goddess. Having a divine namesake is a nice concept.

I was all set to change my middle name to the feminine version of it, just to kind of give myself a boost.  I had even filled everything out, and was going to take a day off to go to the courthouse.  Then I ended up having to cancel and go in to work that day.  The next week, my wife and I were talking about it, and about pursuing a more complete transition, so we decided to wait and change it then, and just the one time.  I wanted to keep my initials the same, (maybe that's a crazy reason in retrospect), so we toyed with lists of names beginning with "E."  We narrowed it down to two; Elisabeth and Elle.  Both of us preferred "Elle," so that's the plan. 

Meanwhile, my wife never liked her first name, so she's planning to change hers at the same time, also choosing to retain the same initials.  Fun to follow. 

L

Didnt really want a femmine version of mine didnt like it. So when i was watching something i would hear a name i like and pretty much went with the name i liked most.

My roommate suggested Vallium, I really like it although I think thr majority of the normal population will find it odd as a name. Someone thought the longhand of my nickname was Valiant, and I considered that before, too.

I have time to decide but Valentine, Vallium, and Valiant are all choices

Quote from: WolfNightV4X1 on July 17, 2016, 12:16:18 PM
My roommate suggested Vallium, I really like it although I think thr majority of the normal population will find it odd as a name. Someone thought the longhand of my nickname was Valiant, and I considered that before, too.

I have time to decide but Valentine, Vallium, and Valiant are all choices

I think you might have to put up with people making fun of you if you chose those names. Vallium is the name of a medication so I wouldn't choose this as a name and the othe two are too unusual. Unfortunately we live in a world where if you have a really uncommon name you risk ridicule or being passed on for possible jobs.

I know what name my parents would have chosen, if I would have been AFAB but I could not connect with that name. So I started searching and when I stumbled over the name Theresa I could feel that it is the right name. I can't describe it but I just knew at that moment. Still I consider to take the name my parents would have given me as a middle name.

Another benefit, I don't have to change my signature and I don't have to replace the monogram tags on my large assortment of luggage and bags.  ;D

Quote from: WolfNightV4X1 on July 17, 2016, 12:16:18 PM
I have time to decide but Valentine, Vallium, and Valiant are all choices

I would vote agains Valium because of this (http://spaceballs.wikia.com/wiki/Prince_Valium). The movie was funny but that name will trigger anybodies memory who saw it.

Dena, I didn't had to click on the link, I instantly knew what film you are referring to.
So I think you are totally right!

My birth name is highly unusual, like the only one in the world, and impossible to be regendered in any way.  I guess my parents thought being unique was a good idea.  It wasn't.  Anyway, a long time ago I was thinking about names and this one just felt right.  I didn't really put any more thought into it than that.

My name is not at all similar to my birth name and I'm not entirely sure how I came up with it. I guess I've just always liked the name Oliver and I wanted to be able to have a formal-ish name with a less formal nickname (Ollie). Also I wanted my name to be unique and not too common, but also not one that nobody's ever heard of. Not sure how I feel about the name Oliver becoming so popular like it has been lately, but oh well.

I like Valentine

And if you're concerned about it being too unusual, you could make it a middle name or pick a more common name as a middle name so you can fall back on that if you find Valentine causes too much comment. Personally I don't think Val would be too unusual though

Quote from: Peep on July 17, 2016, 04:43:08 PM
I like Valentine

And if you're concerned about it being too unusual, you could make it a middle name or pick a more common name as a middle name so you can fall back on that if you find Valentine causes too much comment. Personally I don't think Val would be too unusual though

I like Valentine too. And if it helps at all, my step-brother's nickname is Val, shortened from Valentis, which is also unusual.

Interesting discussion! I'm struggling with the name issue too. I want to legally change everything - gender, first/middle/last name. I actually wanted to change my name  when I was about 12/13 - well before I knew I was trans, which is a recent realisation now that I'm pushing 40. But I didn't want to have my dad's last name for various reasons, and I actively disliked my given names. My family called me by my nickname, and I wanted to change it to that. But it wasn't till age 16 when I made everyone call me by my nickname, even in school (even though I still had the same legal name). I haven't liked my name all my life.

Now, I'm trying to figure out my new legal name too--as well as my pen name. In my dream world, I'd love to have them both be the same thing, but I'm trying to decide if I want to be out as trans guy in my writing world. I'd really like to, just nervous, I suppose.  I'm debating to have one of my names be an androgynous version of the female nickname that I liked. I'm actually writing under Hugh plus my new last name that I'd like, and a close friend of mine really liked the name Hugh too. So I think that's a strong contender for first name, and an androgynous middle name. 

If anyone has struggled with pen/stage names, and having different, new legal new names, I'm interested to know more - happy to start a new thread so as not to derail this one if anyone else is interested in the topic. I'm just wondering about implications for my profession, but as a writer and creative I'm happy to be 'out'. My only worry is for jobs and also international travel if I have a public profile as being out as trans.

Quote from: WolfNightV4X1 on July 15, 2016, 11:36:09 PM
Just wondering, a lot of trans people tend to go by the masculine or feminine version of the name they already have, wanted to know if that was the case for most of you or whatnot

For me it was finding one of a lot of male names, of course I havent changed yet so I havent settled. Ive been going by my nickname: Val, the elongated version now to be Valentine

Names do not need to be said but examples and explanations are fine and appreciated

my preferred name is "raine" and my older brother is the one who gave me the name... he said that it suits me now that im female. :)

Quote from: Peep on July 17, 2016, 04:43:08 PM
I like Valentine

And if you're concerned about it being too unusual, you could make it a middle name or pick a more common name as a middle name so you can fall back on that if you find Valentine causes too much comment. Personally I don't think Val would be too unusual though

I could simply cut it at Val but that is too simple and I enjoy it as nickname status. Honestly, I already had my middle name figured out as Alexius because 1) When I was a kid I always wished my first name was gender neutral like Alex or Taylor
And 2) Because the men in my immediate families have middle names starting with A, females have C. My middle name is just the name of a state, I wouldnt need to change it but in the spirit of transition and ties with tradition I'd like to change it more masculinely

In the end if my name ends up being too 'unusual', I always go by Val. So Val remains.

Quote from: Hughie on July 17, 2016, 07:02:22 PM
I want to legally change everything - gender, first/middle/last name. I actually wanted to change my name  when I was about 12/13 - well before I knew I was trans,

Aye, me too. I never liked my legal name at all. Hated it. It never fit me well.

And thanks for the tipoff on your stepbrother's name! Its nice to know Val is a very male name already, I knew there was a reason I liked it more. Valentis sounds awesome I might consider it...
Theres Val Kilmer, an actor with that name

Quote from: WolfNightV4X1 on July 17, 2016, 11:27:28 PM
Aye, me too. I never liked my legal name at all. Hated it. It never fit me well.

And thanks for the tipoff on your stepbrother's name! Its nice to know Val is a very male name already, I knew there was a reason I liked it more. Valentis sounds awesome I might consider it...
Theres Val Kilmer, an actor with that name

Yes, Val is a very male name! If you saw my step-bro, you'd agree, lol. Plus he's very handsome. Can I say that about my step-brother? We loved the name in my family, for sure. Really suits him. And yes, Val Kilmer. Let's not forget about him either. :)  So there's precedent, absolutely. And there are Valentino's and even Valeri Bure, the hockey player. Options to ponder...

I had pretty much decided what name to go for as soon as I realized that was a decision I needed to make.  I've loved the name Amanda ever since I was about 11 or 12.  My mom was telling me that the doctor thought I would be a girl.  I made her tell me what my name would have been, and that's what it was.  And as for my middle name, I'm fortunate that my born middle name is gender neutral.

I'm still trying to figure this one out for myself as well.  Amongst other things.  A fresh thread will sometimes get you some new incite, and going back and seeing what has come before can help as well.

Will join the chorus on the no Valium bit, as I also didn't need to click the link to said clip of said movie.

My forum name is derived from my birth names, mostly because I couldn't think of anything better at the time.  My wife keeps coming up with suggestions for names (Her favourite at the moment is "Loula".  Mrrrp!  Don't think so.) but I havent heard or thought of one that I like better. 

The more I use Kathy Lauren the more I like it.  It is starting to feel like my name.  So I may go with that in the long run, or maybe I'll come up with something else.

Quote from: WolfNightV4X1 on July 15, 2016, 11:36:09 PM
Just wondering, a lot of trans people tend to go by the masculine or feminine version of the name they already have, wanted to know if that was the case for most of you or whatnot

For me it was finding one of a lot of male names, of course I havent changed yet so I havent settled. Ive been going by my nickname: Val, the elongated version now to be Valentine

Names do not need to be said but examples and explanations are fine and appreciated

Just leave it Val as in Val Kilmer. I've gone from Don to Dawn and the Oday business is just something to crow about. erererer roooo which is what happens at the crack o Dawn of a new day.

I was just going to feminize my given name, but it's never felt right. Lately I've had another one in mind that I think I like better, but I don't know. I'm a bit of a perfectionist, I'm not sure I'll ever be completely pleased with my name. Or perhaps it's just a matter of fully growing into it. We'll see!

Val or Valentine is a pretty awesome name though!

I've always hated my very common first and middle name and have gone by my initials for years. However, I have a speech impediment that means almost everyone misunderstands the letter both my first and middle name start with, and those names even though they're common, so I knew I couldn't choose new names that start with that letter. I was named for my grandmother that died before I was born though, so I've decided to change my last name to her maiden name as a way of still honoring her. It helps that my immediate family is very transphobic, so I want to distance myself as much from them as possible anyway.

I chose Alexander for a first name because I liked the meaning and the many shortened versions of it. I'm having trouble deciding on a middle name though and still haven't found one that I feel 100% sure that I want to choose.

Quote from: IdontEven on July 25, 2016, 06:24:07 PM
I was just going to feminize my given name, but it's never felt right. Lately I've had another one in mind that I think I like better, but I don't know. I'm a bit of a perfectionist, I'm not sure I'll ever be completely pleased with my name. Or perhaps it's just a matter of fully growing into it. We'll see!

Val or Valentine is a pretty awesome name though!

Aye, have you considered since youre indecisive and all, having someone you care about and supports your transition name you, after all most of us are given our names rather than being named, it might help if someone chose for you just as your parents have

...just a thought.

Quote from: DawnOday on July 25, 2016, 05:11:50 PM
Just leave it Val as in Val Kilmer. I've gone from Don to Dawn and the Oday business is just something to crow about. erererer roooo which is what happens at the crack o Dawn of a new day.

Oooo, I do rather like your name, its quite clever

Quote from: WolfNightV4X1 on July 28, 2016, 01:10:37 PM
Aye, have you considered since youre indecisive and all, having someone you care about and supports your transition name you, after all most of us are given our names rather than being named, it might help if someone chose for you just as your parents have

...just a thought.

It's not a bad thought, and if there were anyone whose taste and sense of style I admired I'd totally let them. But...

My mother named me

Quote from: yayo on July 29, 2016, 11:54:20 AM
My mother named me

Ditto for me.
Guess I was very lucky in that respect.

Do you want attention surrounding your name or do you want no questioning of it in public situations? Some of the names you mentioned  will bring with it the need to explain or talk about it. (With the "Val" theme, I knew a man we called Uncle Valley or Vallie or Uncle Val.) With my name Monica or "Moni," I like the flexibility. With strangers I say Monica. No questions because everyone is familiar with the name. Moni was good during pretransition because it was non gender specific enough if someone heard it. I give people the choice, but I prefer Moni. It is cool because it is a very uncommon name. I have liked the name since I had a crush on a girl when I was 9 years old.
Moni

You could scan the baby name lists for ideas, maybe look for some old time names that are not quite common now.

Back in the day the kids all started calling me "Jin" I had a habit of popping up unexpectedly and disappearing quickly. And something about rubbing me to get wishes granted. I think they were referring to the mythical "Djinn" of Alladin's Lamp fame but were a bunch of semi-literate rednecks who couldn't spell. Anyhow, it stuck and works well when I am in either gender. (I tend to switch back and forth a lot. On any given day I never know which I will be until I step out of the shower and see what clothes my wife has laid out for me).

My first name and middle name are easy enough to feminise and are pretty much gender neutral so that's what I always use.

My father loved a band named Bread and they have a song called Aubrey... It took me much longer to settle on a middle name but I ended up going with "Kay" which was my mother's middle name.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-N900A using Tapatalk

I literally had to write a name on a card at a transgender support meeting and I just wrote four loops which looked like a cursive e l l e.  ;D

@WolfNightV4X1 You mentioned Valentine but wouldn't Valentino be the male version of that name? I think Valentino would be a great version of Val.

I don't really use a female name as I don't venture out in girl mode and if I did it would be some time before I needed to use a name but I've thought about it. I could feminise my male name to the name of the tall blond female warrior in game of thrones.  I quite like that even though I'd look like tyrian if I stood next to her.

Hugs
B

Val is a pretty name

I just go by the shortened version of my birth name, I like it and that version is also the shortened version of the male form of my name. And I started to pick it just because abroad people where having problem with my (easy, I swear! ;D ) full name.

I haven't changed anything but if I do, I intend to use the masculine version of my name. I grew into the name and made it my own... so it fits me as a person.

Sent from my SM-G870W using Tapatalk

I asked my mother when I was very young what name she had picked out (while she was pregnant with me) for if she had a female child. I never forgot it, and that's what my name is now. :)

Well, I'm pre-everything but couple of years ago I began to feel a need to have a female name to present my inner self.  At the time when I joined Susan's the choise was Sofia, but lately I have been thinking some other options too.

I think a name is just something that feels right and suits your personality. I like names that are both international and national in a way, I don't prefer too exotic names or versions of my male (hey, male name belongs to some guy who I'm really not...)

I had always loved the name Cassandra Renae, it flowed, it clicked.  When my girlfriend (now wife) learned of all this, on our second date, her first comment was "Pretty name, but I ain't calling you Cassie".  Her sister is named Cathy and they grew up in Europe where cassie was how her sisters name sounded spoken by the locals.   So I go by Renae.  A safe compromise :)

I don't really like the genderbent versions of my birth name, so I didn't even consider them as a possibility. Trent just kind of, fit. I've liked the name since I was younger, it wasn't one that I just thought was the best name ever, but it was good. So when I started thinking of a more masculine name for myself, my mind went straight to Trent and it stuck.

Chelsea or Ellie, those would be the names I pick if I were to transition (I haven't yet seen a therapist, so I didn't quite figure out my gender yet). I might be open to more options, but I pick these two choices arbitrarily and they seem to click now for some reason, despite that they are detached from my birth name.

Sylvia... well.  Sylvia Plath, whose writing I don't adore but I can relate to the suicidal ideation, as I see this as a way of killing myself without needing to die.  Sylvia Kristel who, upon accidentally seeing her in Emmanuelle 4 when I was quite young, awakened a strange mix of intense attraction and deep, aching sadness that took quite a few years to fully understand.  Sylvia Rivera, a big name in trans activism, who fought against her own establishment when they started to suck up to The Man.
Sylvia is not just who I am, but what I am.  It is the metaphorical death of something my mind has been trying to reject since I first understood the life I felt condemned to.  It is the liberation of myself, in the face of all that has been demanded of me, and a constant reminder not to compromise my truth.  It is the mourning of a life I missed, the celebration of the life I have chosen, and the foundation upon which I will build the life ahead of me.

Whew... waxing rhapsodical!

I don't remember where I picked it up but ever since I was very little I always knew I'd eventually be Wanda. Most people ask if I'm just going to go with Roberta. You do the math. I am still working on a middle name. My current one is not gonna work. I'm thinking of Ruth or Mary for my mother and grandmother respectively. I'm open to suggestions, though, if anyone comes up with something catchy to go with Wanda.

@surge98b

Try Jane or Rei and see how that sounds with it to your ears.  To me it flows well.

I kept my name and just changed it to the female version, Christine, and Rachel is the name I would have been called had I been a girlat birth, its my mothers Grannys name. I would have called myself Rachel other than I don't want to throw away the name my father gave me, it may be all I have left when I come out to him :/

My parents gave me a gender neutral name.  I've tried a bunch of other names, including the three my mother had in mind if I'd been born a girl.  But really, nothing is sticking mentally.

I haven't 100% decided, but I'm leaning towards either keeping my gender neutral name, or changing the spelling to make it the female form.

Quote from: Artesia on September 07, 2016, 04:23:40 AM
@surge98b

Try Jane or Rei and see how that sounds with it to your ears.  To me it flows well.

I love Wanda Jane! My aunt is Jane and it has other family history. Thanks!

Quote from: surge98b on September 07, 2016, 09:04:13 AM
I love Wanda Jane! My aunt is Jane and it has other family history. Thanks!

Glad I could Help!

I wanted something that kept the same initial, so my email address could stay the same.  Something that was not a feminized version of my old name, something that wasn't the same name as any friends/family/coworkers, and that sounded nice.   Then I went to lists of names and picked one that fit.  I get comments about it, since it's somewhat unusual - River.  It seems to fit well so far, been using it for about a year now.

Quote from: rtg on September 13, 2016, 10:22:27 AM
I wanted something that kept the same initial, so my email address could stay the same.  Something that was not a feminized version of my old name, something that wasn't the same name as any friends/family/coworkers, and that sounded nice.   Then I went to lists of names and picked one that fit.  I get comments about it, since it's somewhat unusual - River.  It seems to fit well so far, been using it for about a year now.

Interrupting the thread just for a moment to welcome rtg to our site.

I also want to share some links with you. They are mostly welcome information and the rules that govern the site. If you have not had a chance to look through them, please take a moment:

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Once again, welcome to Susan's. Look around, ask questions and join in.

With warmth,

Joanna

I was going to use the name Samantha but then relised it can be shortened to Sam which can also be a boys name,
I am stuck between Kelly and Tara...???

Long story shorter; when I first revealed my true nature to my girlfriends in the early 80's, it was decided I needed a girls name as I am a girl.  We searched and combed and such for a while as a group, but none that we found really fit me.  Finally, I was thinking back on some of my earliest memories and came across the name of a family friend...Katie.  When I said it out loud, everyone in the group said "that's it!!!" and it has been my name since...Kaity.  From there, I was able to find it is short for Katherine and so that is me.

I have heard so many different ways that we finally settle on our names and all are cool!  What an awesome thing that a majority of folk on this spinning ball will never get to do...pick a fitting name for themselves.

I was working on a project and one of the street names seemed good. It fits ok, but for me I just needed a name that I didn't associate with others. Masculinizing my old name would have reminded me of this guy who is very transphobic.

Hi,
I first started thinking about a feminised version of my given name, but considered it as a potential gender signifier and wondered if that on "bad or marginal passing days" it could be counterproductive....i.e. Reinforcing the doubt in another's mind...for example, "Oh Christine is your name ..(them thinking at the same time, umm...you were most likely born Christopher then).

I think if you pass really well, it would be OK, but perhaps a fully feminine name may be better as it may help to dilute or snuff out any doubt in another's mind.

Then I ended up checking the popularity of names for my age group until I got one that just felt right and luckily matches my existing signature.

It might sound a bit pragmatic but I ended up with a name I am really fond of.

Also, If you get on with your immediate family too, choosing the name that you my have had had you been born in the right body could be a useful "please accept me" aid. Just thinking out loud a bit there.

Ultimately though it's all about you. What makes you feel most like you. I think that is the right name whatever it is.

Dawn

I was actually gonna keep my original name. But decided to go by my childhood nickname Ed. (Used to be my initials until my mom remarried) my work got me a new name tag with that. I ended up figuring out my name when a customer asked me what Ed was short for and I had to stop and think about it. Edwin was one of the names I thought of and I couldn't get it out of my head. And so here we are!

Sophia means wisdom. I feel like a lot of us gain immeasurable amounts of wisdom during transition! Plus, it's a pretty name! ;D

Quote from: WolfNightV4X1 on July 15, 2016, 11:36:09 PM
Just wondering, a lot of trans people tend to go by the masculine or feminine version of the name they already have, wanted to know if that was the case for most of you or whatnot

For me it was finding one of a lot of male names, of course I havent changed yet so I havent settled. Ive been going by my nickname: Val, the elongated version now to be Valentine

Names do not need to be said but examples and explanations are fine and appreciated

I've used a couple usernames also being my name i wanted to use names starting with S because it went of my birth name but it didn't work out and i didn't like the names i and others found, so i moved on outside of that idea.
And soon enough i found a name called Tristan and ever sense I've been using that name without a problem around close trans friends only though. And probably won't go back but i won't lie i don't know how i'll brake it to my parents that i'm changing my birth name so i may keep it (just legally shorten it so its male) for them and use Tristan with trans friends i haven't decided. I picked Tristan while i was frustrated with names one night that same night i remembered a song i loved and a story i loved and then i remembered the name Tristan i always loved and decided to give it a shot so far it hasn't been like other names it's stuck with me.

I've always known my "if you were a girl" name, so I figured why not pick that? Most people don't get to choose the name they carry through life, and it's a nice name anyway :)

I already go by a few different names, artist pseudonyms, nicknames, online SNs that people I met up with continue to use sometimes... choosing another didn't feel like a big deal. Some people are going to continue using my birth name no matter what.

So in the end I just went with something I liked and had positive feelings about, and also added a middle name, since my parents never bothered giving me one of those.

Robert became Robin.

I jumbled up the letters in my middle name (which oddly enough everyone in my family goes by their middle name predominantly) added a few more, and it became Angela. (Also a delightful irony that I'm far from being an angel by any measure.)

If I were to approach my mother about it, 'Marie' is a given name to literally all of the women in her family, and likely would have been mine also..

I don't like Marie..

For me it was a high school crush and it's not certain. I also like Diane.

Hugs,
   Jeanette

This took some doing...I had names I liked and my wife would nix them left and right because she knew some girl with that name and had a negative perception associated with it. lol  Fortunately, she never knew anyone named ainsley because that was just about the only one she did not scratch right off the bat.  It was one of my top few, anyway, so that worked out.

The female version of my deadname doesn't exist.  I kept my male middle name because my sister (cis) has a male middle name, too (both family names). :)  My dad was soooo happy when he heard I kept it.

I have always RPd online using the masc version of my name and the nickname is very gender nuetral. I prefer the full version, but the nick of Pat at least works.

My mother picked out the name "Penelope." She was sure she was having a girl. She even had a big bottle filled with pennies for Penny.
She was so surprised that I wasn't a girl that she never picked a boy's name! Lol. So my older brother named me.
The other name I have been using since the 80s is "Raven Moon" which is my witch name. Then I was using Raven Nevermore, which was like a stage name. But I settled on Penelope. [emoji4]


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First two letters of my girl and boy name start with Lu, so it was a shoe in, what I would pick. The name came to me after several years of pondering about it, it was a process. I guess my subconscious really had to work at it. I guess nobody wanted a girl in my prior life.

Please its kind of a sexy Italian and Spanish name.

Lucia :)

I chose Amber because it felt right.  The very first time fully crossdressed I looked in the mirror and was reminded of a girl I went to elementary school with named Amber.  Also, I have generally liked every Amber I've met.  It allows me to keep my initials the same too.

However,I've been getting a little flack from a few friends who are in relationships with girls named Amber.  I have to point out to them that nobody has a unique claim to the name, it was a common girl's name from the period I was born, and screw you I like it. 

Quote from: Koroside on February 27, 2017, 09:24:52 AM
I've always known my "if you were a girl" name, so I figured why not pick that? Most people don't get to choose the name they carry through life, and it's a nice name anyway :)

It's kinda funny because Paula is what I remember being my "if you were a girl name" but when my wife saw me for the first time a couple weeks ago the first thing she thought was Kate.  She has never liked Paula or the feminine version of my male name...I may be a Kate.  She simply does not like the name that ends with "i" so we shall see.

Quote from: PaulaLee on February 28, 2017, 08:53:07 AM
It's kinda funny because Paula is what I remember being my "if you error a girl name" but when my wife saw me for the first time a couple weeks ago the first thing she thought was Kate.  She has never liked Paula or the feminine version of my male name...I may be a Kate.  She simply does not like the name that ends with "i" so we shall see.

You might want to trust your wife's instinct, you just may be a "Kate."

I came out to the (cis)lady I loved fairly early in our dating and introduced myself to her using a feminized version of my old middle name. (I thought I was "only" CD at the time...) The introduction went well but she let it slip that she detested the name; I also disliked the possible adaptations of my given name.
As we sat and chatted for a while, she popped up with Susan saying that I reminded her of my cousin Suzanne, whom she had met, and used it for the remainder of the evening. At first I wasn't too sure but as it rambled and wove through my thoughts for the next week or so it seemed to fit.
A week later, Susan met her after work and she added Marie as a middle name (common to both families). A name was born!
We later found out mom had been expecting a girl and my light for over 30 years had used the chosen name. 

Susan (Marie)

I loved the name Carrie as a small child. Then in college I lived with a gorgeous girl named Carrie.
However that spelling was already in use as a user name here. So I had to improvise with Karrie.
Boy how I long to be the Carrie outside as I feel on the inside.
But age and life circumstances preclude me from making a transition.
So Carrie (Karrie) it is.

Karrie

I've always liked the name Danielle, but it also is the feminized version of my male name. It'll take a lot less coaching to get people to call me Dani since they call me Danny already sometimes anyway.

I've pretty much settled on a name if I ever decide to pull the trigger and start my transition, not really sure how I picked it, just kind of popped into my head and thought it fits.

Plus it starts with the same letter as my male name hence 'J to J' as my forum username haha.

It's Jessica if anyone was interested, kind of feel odd typing that. :-\

Quote from: J2J on March 11, 2017, 09:18:02 PM
It's Jessica if anyone was interested, kind of feel odd typing that. :-\

Hi, Jessica.

My support group has an introduction exercise where we introduce ourselves by the name we want to use, and everyone says Hi back to us:

Me: "Hi, my name is Kathy, and my pronouns are 'she' and 'her'."
Everyone in unison: "Hi, Kathy!"

The puspose is not only as an introduction, but to get use used to speaking our new names and to hearing them said back to us.

I just got my paperwork through for the name change, which is kind of a weight off my mind.

Now for the really fun part, getting other people to acknowledge it.

Quote from: KathyLauren on March 12, 2017, 07:17:12 AM
Hi, Jessica.

My support group has an introduction exercise where we introduce ourselves by the name we want to use, and everyone says Hi back to us:

Me: "Hi, my name is Kathy, and my pronouns are 'she' and 'her'."
Everyone in unison: "Hi, Kathy!"

The puspose is not only as an introduction, but to get use used to speaking our new names and to hearing them said back to us.

Thanks Kathy, you made me smile. :)

While I never had any problems with my first name, it was my middle and last name that I detest. My middle name just because I hate it, and my last name because its the last name my father had.

Despite having "her" strongly locked away in me my entire life, I have never named her.

I'm kind of leaning toward Ashley, or Alex... Names I've seen used by both men and women.

i started going by a short version of my birth name years ago because it was at least gender-neutral, but i knew it wasn't a full name and i didn't actually like it that much anyway.  i thought about the names it could be short for, but there weren't many to choose from.  for a while i thought i had settled on one, but it didn't really suit me.  sounded too fancy, if i kept the spelling it would end up being pronounced like a different-language version, and had rings of a religion i don't follow.  i didn't want anything foreign or flowery, and i really didn't want "the boy version of my birth name", either.  but for the longest time, i just kept drawing a blank and it was giving me hella anxiety over anything name-related.
i started just using my other nickname, even so that one wasn't a "real name" at all, because i no longer wanted anything to do with the birth name and the nickname at least had a meaning behind it that suited me.  i started thinking i would end up stuck with an unusual name because i couldn't think of anything that suited me better that sounded more normal to put on my paperwork.  not that i have the opportunity now to get a name change, but in the past i could have made the effort to get it done and i didn't while i had the chance because i just wasn't comfortable with my options.
then one day out of the blue it smacked me in the face.  there was a name that had parallels with my given name (this was sort of important to me because my first name and last name sound similar and have similar spelling, which was something i've always liked, even though i hated the actual first name).  it wasn't actually related to my birth name at all, sounded more like my last name than my birth name or any variant of it, and best of all suited my personality and background perfectly.  i had been using that name for a story character of mine for years, and that character had long been sort of based on aspects of myself, my family, and my life that were important to me.  i realized i had had a name all along, and i've been sticking with it ever since. 
i still haven't picked a middle name, though.  that one just needs to be totally replaced.  i've strongly considered using two of them to represent my father and grandfather, but i'm honestly not sure about the whole "two middle names" thing or, to a lesser degree, using surnames as middle names.

My birth name was Ray, but everyone called me Randy to distinguish me from my Dad. I was always a bit uneasy with what seemed vaguely like a childish or feminine name, and even tried to go back to Ray when I entered college (failed in about 3 days lol).

One place I worked had 3 Randy/Randi's within 4 cubicles, two men and one woman.

So for now, I'm just sticking with Randy either way. I know women usually don't spell it that way, but what the heck. Finally it seems fitting for my feminine self.

Now I'm all tangled up with my passport, driver's license, voter registration and TSA Precheck having variants of these names. I have to remember to bring my passport for ID when I fly :( Maybe this will become an excuse to get an official name change...

Hi Ray.
I chose my name, Raelynn, because I liked it. I had dated a Raelynn and a Raelene years ago and always liked the nick name Rae. My given name is also gender neural, but out of respect of my father and son who both share it, I changed it.
I personally feel it's a good thing to change one's name to express your change into the new person you're becoming.

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Quote from: meatwagon on March 13, 2017, 10:11:35 PMnot sure about the whole "two middle names" thing or, to a lesser degree, using surnames as middle names.

I considered this as well but decided against 2 because apparently in some places/situations these days there's paperwork difficulties with more than one middle name. I'm not sure if that's true but I'd rather not have extra hassle because some people out there don't consider two mid names common enough to cater for. But it's common in some countries for difficulties if you don't cater to the generic name structure. Like in some where almost everyone has three parts to the name or a name of fours characters it can throw their system off or make more work for you if you don't. I can't see how it'd be a major problem in most English speaking countries at least.

Well, my first name, Nicholas/Nick, actually comes from two of my favourite video game characters, Nick from Left 4 Dead 2, and Nick Valentine from Fallout 4, and I really liked the name, and I felt like it suited me reall well. I originally had 2 middle names, and I felt like keeping it that way, since it's kind of interesting. Skylar and Ashton I think I just found on a name website and I thought they sounded really cool. None of my names are even vaguely like my original name, except for a shared initial.

I stole my ex girlfriends Haha I loved her name Dominique and she preferred Nikki so I introduce myself as dominique and tell people they can call me Nikki and everyone I have met says Nikki is a fitting name for me!

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Quote from: Kylo on March 14, 2017, 07:16:27 AM
I considered this as well but decided against 2 because apparently in some places/situations these days there's paperwork difficulties with more than one middle name. I'm not sure if that's true but I'd rather not have extra hassle because some people out there don't consider two mid names common enough to cater for. But it's common in some countries for difficulties if you don't cater to the generic name structure. Like in some where almost everyone has three parts to the name or a name of fours characters it can throw their system off or make more work for you if you don't. I can't see how it'd be a major problem in most English speaking countries at least.

after doing a little searching on other people who have multiple middle names, i'm less worried about it; i've heard of some having only the first of the two used/acknowledged in certain cases, but that wasn't a problem in itself.   i'm sure there will be some situations where it could be a minor obstacle, but it's common enough around here.
still undecided overall, but i've got time to figure it out.

Quote from: meatwagon on March 13, 2017, 10:11:35 PM
i started going by a short version of my birth name years ago because it was at least gender-neutral, but i knew it wasn't a full name and i didn't actually like it that much anyway. 

I'm doing this for the last year or so... I like that it's gender neutral but it doesn't feel quite right either. I may end up keeping this name as a middle name and just using my pen name for my real name when I do the paperwork.

I did actually consider using the name my mum told me that she was going to use if I was born female but we gave it to our dog and I now I feel weird about it haha.

It was shortly after I realized I felt like a boy, when I was 8, that I then went "well, what about a name if I was a boy?" Vincent was the first one to pop in to my head and it sounded and felt right. Even to this day it feels perfect still.

I haven't actually settled on a name yet, although I'm pretty sure I know what it will be.  Lisa, by the way, is not the name I'll be using.  It's an old name I used for anonymity on the internet for many years but harkens back to a time and place when I thought I had a crossdressing fetish.  So it's something I need to shed.

Anyway the story of how I came to the name I'm likely going to adopt as my own going forward is kind of bizarre.  I was in New York City on business and as often is the case, having to spend three days in my male costume meeting with clients had really amp'ed up the dysphoria. While in an Uber on my way to the airport to go home, I was dwelling on the dysphoria and some depression over my wife's struggles with this situation.  I started to have some pretty depressive thoughts and the tears were starting to run from my eyes. I silently was praying that the pain would just go away.

It was at this point that we stopped next to a long fence that had been hit by taggers.  Normally I don't find much value in graffiti art, but this work initially caught my eye as being particularly well done and beautiful. As I looked over I saw that it was a name, Alyssa, with hearts, flowers and lace adorning it. I though to myself how much I like that name and I started to feel a little better.

I've since researched the etymology of that name and found it refers to a plant that was once believed to prevent insanity.  I liken that to how becoming Alyssa will prevent my own insanity (or even death).  So that gives it additional meaning.  I believe going forward my name will be Alyssa Jean. It means a lot to me and allows me to keep my birth initials. I haven't "officially" decided on it but I really like the name, it's age appropriate, and I've already used it to test it out in a few environments.

For me it involved going to the book store and buying a 5.97x10^47 of the greatest baby names ever book.  Since my girlfriend and I both went we had an awkward "OOOOH CONGRATULATIONS!" followed by "Uhh, yeah thanks!" conversation with the cashier lady.  (we had a good laugh about that later)

That book taught me one thing: there are some editors convinced that some of the most screwed up names imaginable are acceptable baby names.   Anyway...

We dug through the book and started writing ones down that sounded good (she's a nurse and I'm a science type, so we like lists)  I ditched the ones with an S in them since I have a lisp and hate showcasing it, Estelle being in that group.  Then we scratched off the ones that sounded a bit pretentious or a little too exotic, Colette was one of those.  We got down to Karina, Colleen, Claire, and Jade.  I decide that I didn't want to be named after a rock, so Jade was out.  After that we just started trying names out in conversation over the course of a few days and Colleen won out.