Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I was reading somewhere that using the correct restroom is actually a part of transition and should be done be before transition. If I'm in guy mode, do I still use the women's restroom? Or is that only something I should do if I'm part time?


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If I am in guy mode I do not use the womens restroom. To me it just creates issues that hurts our progress.

Heather

You've got to do what's comfortable for you. If you try to use the women's in guy mode there's likely to be conflict unless it's in a setting you're well known in and you have the support of people there. Use the women's when you're comfortable and don't let anyone push you into it. That being said, people's expectations are worth taking into account.

Well in my country womens restrooms have insane lines, So if i ever which is closer to never use a public restroom its the mens because no lines.

Prior to going full time I would never have used the women's if I was in guy mode, chances are I would have been arrested or had complaints made about me. If I was in female mode I certainly wouldn't be using the men's.

The mode your in is the restroom you use. Grace explained it pretty well. I stopped using the men's prior to going to full time but was very near it. The last time I went in there I was sure someone would tell me I was in the wrong bathroom. Hugs
Mariah

I used the mens room until I consistently male failed. A long time ago I was at a restaurant in guy mode and I went to the restroom. A women held the ladies room door open for me. I just smiled and went into the men's room. Another time I was in guy mode in the men's restroom and a guy walked in, looked at me in a startled sort of way, walked out and then walked back in as I made a B-line out of there. Shortly after that I went full time.

Not exactly related but I saw this and thought it did a good job explaining things to others.

http://www.lgbtqnation.com/2016/08/magician-perfectly-explains-transgender-people-bathrooms-kids/

DON'T let me derail this discussion. I don't mean to

Claire (née Dori)

Okay, thanks everyone. Thats about what i thought.

In an odd twist of irony at a recent concert I was in the very long line for the women's room with the other girls (was in super cute girl mode) and some of them said "hey! no line at the men's room" and talked me into running over there with them.

I've seen that done countless times over the years of course at sports events and concerts and honestly the guys could almost care less, dont quite think it works so well the other way around though.

Confidence going into a restroom.  Also pack tampons and pantyliners in your purse.  Hugs Shannon

I think going to the ladies room is very intimidating at first. I was surprised how fast it becomes something very natural. I'm sure I'm not the first to say this, but if you act like you belong there, own it, then problems are way less likely. It's now fun to visit all the restrooms I longed to go into before.
Moni

I am still very much in guy mode. I recently attended a Bruce Springsteen concert in Europe and had to take a bathroom break. The line for the women's room was very long, so many women used the men's room too. In fact I think there were more women in the men's room than there were men. That and I have noticed many public restrooms in Europe, at least in the northern part, are essentially 'unisex' in that the stalls are fully enclosed and fully private. Really highlights how uptight we Americans can be about simple things.

Sorry for the thread creep...

HappyMoni, I am using the men's and find that after the first few times, I am much more comfortable using the men's.  Noone looks at anyone else, everyone is in and out so quickly.  I have never had anyone look at or question me about bing in there.  spx_1112, I do actually still need need tampons so have to bring them with me and get rid of the used one in the trash before I leave.  This requires some carefull planning but has workout fine so far.

Mm,
   In the men's room guys don't look at each other. I think for many it is a transphobic thing. There is a fear that a look could be misinterpreted. This probably is to the advantage of a transman nervous about using the men's room. I do think it is much more likely for women to notice or smile at each other in the ladies room. It takes a bit of getting used to.
Moni