Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I am out to all my immediate family and all my friends in Australia. I am not out to my old Friends or extended family in New Zealand. I have written before about the difficulties I have had with my family. Last week I skyped with my father only to have him tell me he will never use anything but my born name and pronouns that match and the same goes for my mother...he went on to say he didn't think I needed to "come out" to the extended family and wanted me to justify my position of wanting to tell my Aunties, Uncles and cousins. He started off talking to me but by the time he had finished he was laying down the law...problem is, I am 52, all he did was insult me by "demanding" what he did.

Some time ago I said I would take it easy on them due to their age. But age does not excuse ignorance. I am not entirely sure that he realised how he sounded but aside from that I have had enough contact with him to know how he was thinking. I therefore decided I would come out to everyone via Facebook and was going through a number of articles posting the odd one here and there to my wife and two Daughters asking for their opinion, if I were to use them to head up a new Trans status for my Facebook.

I actually included my cousin in one of these more topical posts  and it was pure accident that I realised what I had done. So I contacted her and asked for an e-mail address. I emailed her this afternoon and she wrote back to me very quickly... the email was addressed in the following way, Dear Liz...as soon as I saw this I knew things were going to be Ok. She went on to say that she was 100% supportive and that she had a very close trans friend/colleague who has been transitioning for a number of years and happily married as well. She also told me that she was happy to tell the rest of my extended family when she encountered them if it would help. She felt any perceived difficulties with either my parents or the wider family "says more about them than you" and signed off the letter saying she was so happy for me and to enjoy being me...I cried for quite awhile after receiving that.

I also came out to my closest and oldest friend today and he was amazing about it. He will be emailing me tonight as he is working night shift...after my initial e-mail he came back to me and told me I was a very special friend and he wished me only happiness. He didn't have a lot of time and would email me tonight while he was at work.

My parents had the opportunity to have input into how their brothers and sisters were told I was Trans. Because of their recent attitude I did not include or take into account any of their wishes and have simply stated to my cousin that she can tell any of my other New Zealand cousins (over 100 of them) as she see's fit. There is very little chance I will see any others except at a wedding or funeral neither of which place is appropriate to make that kind of announcement. I expect it to take a few months for the information to filter through the family and should be able to start using my name and correct pronouns very shortly despite what my Father and Mother (God bless'em) may say.

So the cat is now out of the bag. What are the chances, that the person I out myself to, is pro Trans with a close Trans friend and colleague. Got to be happy with that result considering how it could have gone.
Luck? or providence?

Hugs
Liz

Quote from: ElizabethK on August 06, 2016, 06:04:08 PMWhat are the chances, that the person I out myself to, is pro Trans with a close Trans friend and colleague. Got to be happy with that result considering how it could have gone.
Luck? or providence?

It's got to be good karma, I'd say.  I am so glad for you that that part of it went so well!

Congratulations - I was really concerned when I read the title.

How does it feel not to have to lie anymore? I am envious

Take care
Steff

Facebook has been surprisingly a nice place to come out to my friends and colleagues.
People are so much flexible and open-minded than I initially assumed.

One drawback was my posting of bikini photos last year. Most people seemed to be shocked at them and a lot of fuss unfolded.

But this year, people seem to be well adapted to my bikini photos. No fuss yet.

barbie~~

Quote from: dazedAndConfused01 on August 08, 2016, 02:42:38 AM
Congratulations - I was really concerned when I read the title.

How does it feel not to have to lie anymore? I am envious

Take care
Steff

Hi Steff

Feels great with the slight exception that as the information filters back through the extended family which would have to be nearly 200 including 1st cousins and their grown kids the chances of someone picking up the phone and calling my elderly parents grows. Hopefully people will speak to me directly and not involve my parents although I know how families go and especially ours...some won't be able to contain themselves...but that is only a couple of people the rest I suspect will be fine. So long as they are not getting calls about it then I am happy...one of the things my father was adamant about, is that there would be no one in the family with any knowledge or ability to support me...I guess he was wrong. ;D

Hugs

Liz

Quote from: barbie on August 08, 2016, 04:08:35 AM
Facebook has been surprisingly a nice place to come out to my friends and colleagues.
People are so much flexible and open-minded than I initially assumed.

One drawback was my posting of bikini photos last year. Most people seemed to be shocked at them and a lot of fuss unfolded.

But this year, people seem to be well adapted to my bikini photos. No fuss yet.

barbie~~

At my age and level of testosterone poisoning, Bikini's are well out of the picture for me as they are for many cis women especially of my age. If you got it, you got it...good on you. Maybe if I was 20 years younger I might think about it  ;) :)

Liz

Absolutely fantastic news Liz. So pleased you have had a great result.


Cheers Sue.