Site News and Information => Introductions => Topic started by: MimidaeJamie on August 22, 2016, 03:00:44 PM Return to Full Version
Title: Hello World
Post by: MimidaeJamie on August 22, 2016, 03:00:44 PM
Post by: MimidaeJamie on August 22, 2016, 03:00:44 PM
Hi everyone. I just wanted to introduce myself since I've been reading through these forums off and on for a couple years, and give a little background.
When I was about 5 or 6 years old, I thought I was a girl. I even told people in school I was a girl. That was quickly stopped by my parents, especially by my father, who told me in anger that I was not a girl. I always liked girl things, and found myself enjoying hanging out with the few girls that would have me around rather than with boys. I even used to make clothes for my stuffed animals. ;D
When I began puberty I often thought to myself that I wished I had been a girl instead, and understood then that life would have been so much easier, and I would have been much more socially accepted all throughout childhood and life in general. At the time I was just about the same size as my mother, so I tried on some of her clothes while she was at work, bra and all. :D It was a massive secret...I never told anyone.
I've always been a loner, mainly because my feminine nature had always been so shunned and it became difficult to be social without people just disregarding me, and often as a man I'm always misunderstood in my mannerisms...taken as being angry when not, told to calm down when I'm calm, and basically just being treated like crap. So I stayed hidden as much as possible. I would rarely speak in any social settings, and people just thought I was weird, creepy, and boring. The only time I wasn't so hidden is when I would sing. I learned in my teens that I can sing very, very well, and I happen to be able to emulate the voices of numerous singers, male and female, almost identically. So I would sing, get positive attention, feel good, then go crawl back in my private little hole.
It wasn't until a couple years ago that the secret was no longer tolerable. I remember reading an article about an androgynous young man who modeled women's clothing having chosen to transition...and I became overwhelmed with jealousy. I never felt I had the ability or support from anyone I knew. But the secret could no longer be kept.
I looked for local transgender therapists, and found one that is incredible. I was in tears and shaking when I left her the initial voicemail to call me and discuss becoming a patient. It was the best thing I could have ever done, and to this day I cannot imagine that I would still be alive if I hadn't called her.
I am now 38 years old, and look exceptionally young for my age. I am often mistaken for a 22-25 year old, and treated as such by people my age. I usually dress "male" but with effeminate touch, but have always found myself wishing that I could get away with wearing female attire. There are so many cute outfits I wish I could wear. :'(
I have made the decision after two years of deliberation, experimenting, and arguing with myself that I am going to transition. It is now or never. I will be seeing the doctor very soon to get started with HRT, and I'm both anxious, excited, and somewhat scared about what lies ahead socially as I transition. I was gifted with an androgynous voice...in that I mean I have a very, very deep voice that I've been speaking in for all of my life, simply because if I spoke in the voice I want to speak in, it wouldn't match my mostly masculine face. But I am very capable of speaking in a woman's voice, and doing so is easier and less energy-sucking than speaking with my male voice. Also instead of sounding dull and drab, my female voice is happier-sounding.
It's time to make my outside match my inside. :)
Anyway that's me in a nutshell. I plan to do a video blog as I transition and hope to have another success story to add to the world.
When I was about 5 or 6 years old, I thought I was a girl. I even told people in school I was a girl. That was quickly stopped by my parents, especially by my father, who told me in anger that I was not a girl. I always liked girl things, and found myself enjoying hanging out with the few girls that would have me around rather than with boys. I even used to make clothes for my stuffed animals. ;D
When I began puberty I often thought to myself that I wished I had been a girl instead, and understood then that life would have been so much easier, and I would have been much more socially accepted all throughout childhood and life in general. At the time I was just about the same size as my mother, so I tried on some of her clothes while she was at work, bra and all. :D It was a massive secret...I never told anyone.
I've always been a loner, mainly because my feminine nature had always been so shunned and it became difficult to be social without people just disregarding me, and often as a man I'm always misunderstood in my mannerisms...taken as being angry when not, told to calm down when I'm calm, and basically just being treated like crap. So I stayed hidden as much as possible. I would rarely speak in any social settings, and people just thought I was weird, creepy, and boring. The only time I wasn't so hidden is when I would sing. I learned in my teens that I can sing very, very well, and I happen to be able to emulate the voices of numerous singers, male and female, almost identically. So I would sing, get positive attention, feel good, then go crawl back in my private little hole.
It wasn't until a couple years ago that the secret was no longer tolerable. I remember reading an article about an androgynous young man who modeled women's clothing having chosen to transition...and I became overwhelmed with jealousy. I never felt I had the ability or support from anyone I knew. But the secret could no longer be kept.
I looked for local transgender therapists, and found one that is incredible. I was in tears and shaking when I left her the initial voicemail to call me and discuss becoming a patient. It was the best thing I could have ever done, and to this day I cannot imagine that I would still be alive if I hadn't called her.
I am now 38 years old, and look exceptionally young for my age. I am often mistaken for a 22-25 year old, and treated as such by people my age. I usually dress "male" but with effeminate touch, but have always found myself wishing that I could get away with wearing female attire. There are so many cute outfits I wish I could wear. :'(
I have made the decision after two years of deliberation, experimenting, and arguing with myself that I am going to transition. It is now or never. I will be seeing the doctor very soon to get started with HRT, and I'm both anxious, excited, and somewhat scared about what lies ahead socially as I transition. I was gifted with an androgynous voice...in that I mean I have a very, very deep voice that I've been speaking in for all of my life, simply because if I spoke in the voice I want to speak in, it wouldn't match my mostly masculine face. But I am very capable of speaking in a woman's voice, and doing so is easier and less energy-sucking than speaking with my male voice. Also instead of sounding dull and drab, my female voice is happier-sounding.
It's time to make my outside match my inside. :)
Anyway that's me in a nutshell. I plan to do a video blog as I transition and hope to have another success story to add to the world.
Title: Re: Hello World
Post by: Sno on August 22, 2016, 05:05:10 PM
Post by: Sno on August 22, 2016, 05:05:10 PM
Welcome MimidaeJamie,
I'm sure the mods will be along soon with a welcome pack, but I thought I'd drop by, and say hi.
Take care and see you out on the boards :)
Sno
I'm sure the mods will be along soon with a welcome pack, but I thought I'd drop by, and say hi.
Take care and see you out on the boards :)
Sno
Title: Re: Hello World
Post by: V M on August 22, 2016, 07:19:37 PM
Post by: V M on August 22, 2016, 07:19:37 PM
Hi MimidaeJamie :icon_wave:
Welcome to Susan's :) Glad to have you here, join on in the fun
Here's a few quick links to help you along
Please be sure to review
Hugs
V M
Welcome to Susan's :) Glad to have you here, join on in the fun
Here's a few quick links to help you along
Please be sure to review
Things that you should read
Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By (http://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html) | Standard Terms & Definitions (http://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,54369.0.html) | Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar) (http://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,114.0.html.) |
Reputation rules (http://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,18960.0.html) | News posting & quoting guidelines (http://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,174951.0.html) | Photo, avatars, & signature images policy (http://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,59974.msg383866.html#msg383866) |
Hugs
V M
Title: Re: Hello World
Post by: tgirlamg on August 23, 2016, 09:36:11 AM
Post by: tgirlamg on August 23, 2016, 09:36:11 AM
Welcome Mimidae.... Your story bears many of the common themes many of us here have experienced... There are amazing things ahead for you!!!... Sometimes the challenges can be hard but all hurdles ahead can be cleared... Let us know how we can help as you navigate your path!!!
Take Care,
Ashley :)
Take Care,
Ashley :)