Community Conversation => Transgender talk => Topic started by: Michelle_P on August 27, 2016, 11:54:17 AM Return to Full Version
Title: Pronouns at the hospital
Post by: Michelle_P on August 27, 2016, 11:54:17 AM
Post by: Michelle_P on August 27, 2016, 11:54:17 AM
Well, I'm out of the hospital after my scheduled surgery for a bladder outlet obstruction, back home, with a hose hanging out of me for the next week. Overall, it was a pretty smooth procedure, went well, with the only surprise being how long it took the spinal anesthesia to wear off (6 hours!). For the technically inclined, the procedure was a transurethral incision of the prostate, with modified resection to trim an obstructing bit. I had a full transurethral resection of the prostate done 6 years back, but, as the urologist phrased it, "You grew!" (Pesky testosterone. We know how to fix THAT!)
Unfortunately, because this was a hospital surgery session, my presentation naturally was horrible. No hair, cosmetics, or anything else. Normally, that wouldn't be a big deal, but...
My medical record clearly indicates my nature, preferred name and such. Heck, just the medications list makes it obvious what's up. So, what happens?
The nurse reviewing my records and meds in the pre-op area has my records out. She's going through everything from date of birth and phone number to the last time I took my spiro, and where my estradiol patch is located. "And where is the patch, SIR?" "MISTER P, when did you last take..." "SIR, is this your current address?"
Gah. Excuse me, but could you please stop saying SIR? I prefer Michelle or "Ma'am".
"Of course, sir... Ma'am. I'll just make a note of that. Now, when was the last time you took aspirin, sir?"
One of the other nurses did pick up on all of this, and apologized when I was being rolled out of the hospital later. We had a little discussion on the topic, an educational opportunity for him, I hope. I think I was up against seriously ingrained force of habit, as this is a big hospital, and the staff might have had 30 different people in pre-op at the same time, maybe 100 people a day coming through. The big outside world is sort of new at this whole "Be nice to the transgender person" thing.
It still really grated on me.
Unfortunately, because this was a hospital surgery session, my presentation naturally was horrible. No hair, cosmetics, or anything else. Normally, that wouldn't be a big deal, but...
My medical record clearly indicates my nature, preferred name and such. Heck, just the medications list makes it obvious what's up. So, what happens?
The nurse reviewing my records and meds in the pre-op area has my records out. She's going through everything from date of birth and phone number to the last time I took my spiro, and where my estradiol patch is located. "And where is the patch, SIR?" "MISTER P, when did you last take..." "SIR, is this your current address?"
Gah. Excuse me, but could you please stop saying SIR? I prefer Michelle or "Ma'am".
"Of course, sir... Ma'am. I'll just make a note of that. Now, when was the last time you took aspirin, sir?"
One of the other nurses did pick up on all of this, and apologized when I was being rolled out of the hospital later. We had a little discussion on the topic, an educational opportunity for him, I hope. I think I was up against seriously ingrained force of habit, as this is a big hospital, and the staff might have had 30 different people in pre-op at the same time, maybe 100 people a day coming through. The big outside world is sort of new at this whole "Be nice to the transgender person" thing.
It still really grated on me.
Title: Re: Pronouns at the hospital
Post by: Devlyn on August 27, 2016, 12:17:11 PM
Post by: Devlyn on August 27, 2016, 12:17:11 PM
Big hug! Sometimes it doesn't take much to let the wind out of our sails. Do you receive some sort of "Please rate your last visit" questionnaire from them? That might be a good way to bring it up.
Hugs, Devlyn
Hugs, Devlyn
Title: Re: Pronouns at the hospital
Post by: stephaniec on August 28, 2016, 11:14:59 AM
Post by: stephaniec on August 28, 2016, 11:14:59 AM
I've been very lucky with my hospital stays. My charts indicate That I'm a transgender because I still haven't changed my legal documents. The doctors and nurses are usually pretty nice about pronouns. I think sometimes one might run into a Neanderthal hold out though.
Title: Re: Pronouns at the hospital
Post by: Michelle_P on August 28, 2016, 11:42:58 AM
Post by: Michelle_P on August 28, 2016, 11:42:58 AM
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on August 27, 2016, 12:17:11 PM
Big hug! Sometimes it doesn't take much to let the wind out of our sails. Do you receive some sort of "Please rate your last visit" questionnaire from them? That might be a good way to bring it up.
Hugs, Devlyn
Thanks, Devlyn. It normally doesn't bother me that much, as I'm constantly misgendered by family (another issue...), but this time each SIR or MISTER felt like a hammer blow. Getting 40 or 50 of those in 10 minutes was really irritating.
Like Stephanie says, I might have run into a Neanderthal who was doing this intentionally. Like, yeah, no kidding, I didn't remember I had male bits down there. Thank you ever so much for the reminder.
Title: Re: Pronouns at the hospital
Post by: Rachel on August 28, 2016, 01:38:18 PM
Post by: Rachel on August 28, 2016, 01:38:18 PM
I a sorry that happened to you.
Before I changed my name I got a sir at my PCP once ( I was expressing too :( ), they treat thousands of trans. I was really taken back. There of all places. Since I changed my name that issue is gone.
I agree he was doing it on purpose and needs to get reported.
Before I changed my name I got a sir at my PCP once ( I was expressing too :( ), they treat thousands of trans. I was really taken back. There of all places. Since I changed my name that issue is gone.
I agree he was doing it on purpose and needs to get reported.