Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Edit: Really appreciated the insightful remarks! It's a mistake to have "looks" as your main focus. At the end this is mostly an identity question and getting to be who you are so your appearance, while important, should only play second fiddle. Will definitely seek a gender therapist and talk about this further.

Welcome to Susan's.

You are young and look very good. If your nose is an issue it can be addressed later. See a good gender therapist and if HRT is right for you then do not let your nose stop you.

You might be surprised how things can change over a few years.  Add in the changes from HRT at your age, and that's a whole new you on the other side.  Don't forget that in the longer term it is possible to medically alter anything you are still bothered by, but let time do it's thing first.

You might want to find a good therapist to discuss your feelings, desire for transition, and longer term goals with.  This often helps clarify what we need and what we desire in our minds, and helps us weigh the trade offs in our lives.

By the way, welcome!  This is probably one of the friendliest places on the Web for folks like us, a wonderful community all sharing with and helping each other.

Thank you for the kind words!  :)

I've been trying to get as much information as I could about transition, and also saw plenty of timelines. E surely is a powerful "drug". You are right about having to find a good therapist, but first I need to sort things out with my family, to whom I haven't come out yet. Anyway, since I'm still in college I can't help but make a big deal of possible stigma and social backlash, and if it wouldn't be possible for me to pass unless I get some sort of surgery... now that would pretty much suck  :-\.

My own thought on these things is that it's a mistake to make "passing" the be-all and end-all of transition.  From what I'm hearing from other, long-transitioned trans women, no matter how good other people may say you look, you will always have times when you see yourself as your old sex in the mirror.  If passing is your goal, you will never pass enough.

At some point, you have to say "it's good enough" and make peace with that.  Because ultimately, transitioning (or not) has to be about being able to make peace with who and what you are, as opposed to who and what you wish you were.

Welcome to Susan's Place. I think you may have several things working in you favor. First you are taking the pictures close up with a wide angle lens that turn the picture into a fun house mirror image. Features in the center of your face will be smaller in real life. HRT will move facial fat around and reduce some of the muscle in the face/neck area giving a more feminine appearance. You may have a few extra pounds and if so, losing that weight might help and last, makeup and hair can make a major difference in your appearance.

Voice an mannerism may become the deciding factor in passibility and it is possible through training to feminize those as well. As this point you shouldn't consider surgery until you have worked on the easy and inexpensive thing because surgery may not be needed. Should you consider surgery, doing only your nose would bring the cost way down and it could be done in such a way the nose would fit a male or female face. The nose was the only thing that was altered on my face and the problem I had was an unattractive bump on my nose.

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Do not overthink feminization surgery.  I am 53 years old, and before I started hormones I had a long list of surgeries I thought I was going to need.  However, even after only three months on hormones, I get gendered female when I am out in female dress with minimal makeup.  And sometimes I get funny looks when I am out in male dress.  I am not at the point of "male fail," yet, but I can see it on the distant horizon. 

There were a lot of surgical procedures I was looking into that it turns out I will not need.  The hormones just took care of a lot of things, even at my age.

Focus on therapy and hormones first, and see where the hormones take you.  You are still young.  I've seen folks not much younger than you literally get turned into a girl by the hormones in a matter of months.

There isn't one right answer. When I transitioned 26 years ago, I opted for rhinoplasty and it helped a lot.

If you decide to go forward, HRT, electrolysis, hair and a lot of practice with make-up are going to make a big difference. Whether you feel that it's enough will be a personal decision on how happy you are with the way you look. Take a really good look around at how real cis-women look - not actresses and models, but the women in the grocery store. The majority of them don't look perfect either. Many of them figure out how to accentuate the best and hide the rest. That's what we all do.

Hugs,
Rhonda

I'm far from passing, but I still have people calling me ma'am and miss on occasion.
Let the hormones do their magic and then figure out what you might want to adjust.

Besides, you're HoneyBadger and...
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1.kym-cdn.com%2Fentries%2Ficons%2Ffacebook%2F000%2F005%2F637%2FHoney-Badger-Dont-Care.jpg&hash=9cc163503127983309ab63478b0cc09b2a144e73)

Quote from: Honeybadger on September 05, 2016, 07:54:44 PM
Edit: Really appreciated the insightful remarks! It's a mistake to have "looks" as your main focus. At the end this is mostly an identity question and getting to be who you are so your appearance, while important, should only play second fiddle. Will definitely seek a gender therapist and talk about this further.

I am glad you came to this realization.  :)  Looks will come later.  The first priority, as you know now, is to figure out your own gender identity (often with the help of a gender therapist).  Once you know and understand who you really are, then you can start worrying about appearances.