Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Okay, I might not have anyone answer this. I just am desperate for help. I'm 13, (wow so young) anyway, I live in Kansas and no not Kansas City, I mean Kansas where they all talk with southern accents, and about weather and church all day. I came out as ftm 6 months ago after holding it in for a year. I gave them a note, a long one. After they read it they came and said.. Um riggghht. They had many things to say like, "why does gender matter you are you so it doesn't matter you are just you, a girl." My dad just ignores and does not defend it. My sister? Says she is ok with it but upset and won't use name or pronouns. Okay 1 month after telling I thought changes would happen (this was stupid and wrong change takes time) so,, I end up crying for 3 days straight (so drama) ya no lie k. I told my mom and dad I was actually considering suicide. I had been and I just thought up nothing would ever change. They said "Stop threatening us" so ok. It made it worse. Ok so month 3, I had big talks where all I did was cry and they screamed. All I could think about is what pills could kill me quickly. (Bit dramatic but sums it up there) so month 5. I got hope after watching this 1 youtuber who is very small, named imzeev, him and his friend Oliver had 4 videos together and all I could think about was how happy they were. They are cute little feminine tranz boys ya I know, sounds like im saying "OMG I ONLY LOVE THE, COZ FEM TRANZ OMGOMGOMG" ya no hunny. They were happy and smiled so brightly and only if they had 4-5 video I would watch them to remind myself I can be happy. Tho they live in Vancouver Canada so ->-bleeped-<-. Month 6. They say I need to wait till I'm 18 and I can't. They refuse to watch information on the web like 100% refuse. They won't call me my name MUCH MUCH MUCH LESS PRONOUNS. I can't wait and I know things take time but I feel if I don't act on it now or soon I won't have anytime left and I'll fall into "THY HOLE OF DEATH" (as in more anxiety and not thinking well as in not having much hope as in yikes) so ya. That's it. Help.

Update: I am not a trendy wannabe emo btw guys
Update: am normal brown haired boy just thought I'd add this VERY necessary information

Hi OliverReid

Great to see you found us. From what you describe you are living under your parents roof? This can make things very hard for you and them. I am not an expert on what you are going through but I do know that therapy was a great help. Would you consider this as a possible approach to helping with your parents. Maybe for a start just ask if you can speak to someone professional. The therapist you choose to help you may well be a great ally for you. They may be able to help with any difficulties you are having with your parents. I can only wish you all the best and encourage you to keep talking and keeping the lines of communication open

I hope you enjoy your time at Susan's

Regards Liz

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Relax. Be calm. You are 13. It's a process. Please be patient and allow yourself to grow. For some, it may take a few years to be able to openly explore themselves. So, please be patient, you will always have support here. BTW, nice to meet you ... **hugs** You will find love and support here, just be patient, these things take time, don't rush, walk.

Welcome to Susan's Place. Unfortunately when this happens it means there is going to be a long battle but there are things that that might help. You need to see a gender therapist as that type of doctor will help explain this to your family. It's possible that your school system has a program for transgender children but you will have to ask the school nurse or possibly in the principles office.

Early treatment would be ideal as your estrogen levels would be suppressed with medication and you would gain additional height. Depression is a serious issue and if a gender therapist is not available, possibly a regular therapist might be able to help deal with it.

At this point you need to understand as much as possible about yourself and your feelings so you can take advantage of any opportunities that come up. The FTM section will be were you can have more discussions with people going your direction but the rest of us are willing to help as well.

I have a comming out letter (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,190312.0.html) that was designed for hard cases and you might want to look at it. Feel free to alter it or use it for a learning tool. If you have any questions I can answer, feel free to post them on this thread and I will answer them when I am able to.

Quote from: Sinclair on October 08, 2016, 10:16:47 PM
Relax. Be calm. You are 13. It's a process. Please be patient and allow yourself to grow. For some, it may take a few years to be able to openly explore themselves. So, please be patient, you will always have support here. BTW, nice to meet you ... **hugs** You will find love and support here, just be patient, these things take time, don't rush, walk.

(Pretty sure "quote" means reply I hope) Ty for the lovely hug first off, and thanks for handing out some helpero to ol me. :)

Quote from: ElizabethK on October 08, 2016, 10:12:13 PM
Hi OliverReid

Great to see you found us. From what you describe you are living under your parents roof? This can make things very hard for you and them. I am not an expert on what you are going through but I do know that therapy was a great help. Would you consider this as a possible approach to helping with your parents. Maybe for a start just ask if you can speak to someone professional. The therapist you choose to help you may well be a great ally for you. They may be able to help with any difficulties you are having with your parents. I can only wish you all the best and encourage you to keep talking and keeping the lines of communication open


I hope you enjoy your time at Susan's

Regards Liz

Please review  the following links for site rules, helpful tips and other info we give to all new members...

Things that you should read

• Site Terms of Service and rules to live by  (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html)
  
• Standard Terms and Definitions (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,54369.0.html)
  
• Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar) (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,114.0.html.)
  
• Reputation rules (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,18960.0.html)
  
• News posting & quoting guidelines (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,174951.0.html)
  
• Photo, avatars, and signature images policy (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,59974.msg383866.html#msg383866)
  

Thank you :)  so I'm gonna ask me mum if I could see a therapist (an lgbt+ friendly one preferably), thank you for recommending that idea to me, and for the other helperoo!

Quote from: Dena on October 08, 2016, 10:18:27 PM
Welcome to Susan's Place. Unfortunately when this happens it means there is going to be a long battle but there are things that that might help. You need to see a gender therapist as that type of doctor will help explain this to your family. It's possible that your school system has a program for transgender children but you will have to ask the school nurse or possibly in the principles office.

Early treatment would be ideal as your estrogen levels would be suppressed with medication and you would gain additional height. Depression is a serious issue and if a gender therapist is not available, possibly a regular therapist might be able to help deal with it.

At this point you need to understand as much as possible about yourself and your feelings so you can take advantage of any opportunities that come up. The FTM section will be were you can have more discussions with people going your direction but the rest of us are willing to help as well.

I have a comming out letter (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,190312.0.html) that was designed for hard cases and you might want to look at it. Feel free to alter it or use it for a learning tool. If you have any questions I can answer, feel free to post them on this thread and I will answer them when I am able to.

Thanks Dena!! :-)

Hi Oliver, welcome Susan's. Sorry that they are not respecting your pronouns. I know some of my relatives still don't either so I know how that feels to have family respect our identities. One thing that I did that may help you in time is I really had to stand up for myself in regards to my gender and how others. Sometimes it really takes persistence with some people because the only way they are going to change is if we give them little other choice to or lose us. Some part of me feels they handle it they way they do because they feel it is a choice and not a need. So showing it is a need and not a choice might be your best recourse. Anyways good luck and Hugs
Mariah

Maybe you can talk to someone at school if there's a teacher or specific person to talk to if you have problems.

Quote from: Mariah on October 08, 2016, 11:20:22 PM
Hi Oliver, welcome Susan's. Sorry that they are not respecting your pronouns. I know some of my relatives still don't either so I know how that feels to have family respect our identities. One thing that I did that may help you in time is I really had to stand up for myself in regards to my gender and how others. Sometimes it really takes persistence with some people because the only way they are going to change is if we give them little other choice to or lose us. Some part of me feels they handle it they way they do because they feel it is a choice and not a need. So showing it is a need and not a choice might be your best recourse. Anyways good luck and Hugs
Mariah

Thank you so much Mariah, I'll remember this! (Ty for the hug my friend) :)