Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Hi I'm Torchickens and I'm new to these forums.

I identify as gender questioning leaning towards female, my sex is male, but often feel that I identify as female and would like to go as far as beginning to legally identify as female and transitioning from a male to female body. When I'm in a good mood I think that's what I want to do, other times when I'm not feeling so well (as I have been experiencing depression, thankfully things have been getting a lot better and I feel low a lot less often now) I question if that's really what I want to do. Other times I think about it and remember that you have the right to and it's OK to present yourself in whatever way you like as long as you feel happy about it.

I feel a little out of place here because I don't know if I view myself as experiencing gender dysphoria, although I know I'm not alone. I don't dislike having a male body per se but would just prefer to identify and present myself as female, as when I'm in a positive mood it makes me feel happier to identify in that way.

When I look back it can make me feel a little anxious because in ways I still see myself as Tom (my name currently) as people have known me as that; yet I also see myself identifying and expressing myself as Evie (the name I would like to have). The past two years I painted my nails and tried crossdressing (which I personally view as feminine) and feel comfortable this way, and I feel it has lead to me feeling happier about identifying as female.

I've been referred to a gender identity service to talk about my feelings. The waiting list is long but hopefully will come to a better decision as to where I want to go soon (and I have an inclination that I am Evie).

Nice to meet you.  :)

Hi Evie  :icon_wave:

Welcome to Susan's Place  :)  Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Here are some links to the site rules and stuff that we offer to all new members to help them along

Please be sure to review:

• Site Terms of Service and rules to live by  (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html)
  
• Standard Terms and Definitions (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,54369.0.html)
  
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Hugs

V M

Will do! Thanks for the links V M.  :)

If your therapist is versed in gender dysphoria,they can be very helpful in coming to a decision. I delayed my decision about 40 years due to trying to fit. I became even more angry, more depressed, as time went on I became more and more introverted. To the point of being socially retarded. By my third therapy session the Therapist was asking if I want  to start HRT. I thought about it for thirty seconds to consider. I didn't think it was possible due to medical conditions. In fact I went in to see if I could get my anti depressants changed to something stronger. I have to say the HRT,in two and a half months has made such a change in my ability to cope. No more anger, no more sarchasm, no more putting everyone down. I am more measured in my comments, actually taking into account the other persons feelings. Most noticeably, my wife. No more weight from keeping a secret. Looking for a single word description for how I feel, I decided 'serene' fit the bill. Donald Trump would do well to go on HRT.

Thank you for the advice/support Dawn.

Sorry to hear about your past circumstances and glad to hear that your HRT has helped improve your well-being. :)

Believe me, it is more therapeutic for me to discuss. There is no more anger or blame for her breaking up our marriage by having an affair. The blame is all mine for crossdressing while she was at work. I feel at ease with myself. If I was as diligent as Dena, I would have transitioned in the 80's as well. I think of Dena as a pioneer and wish I wasn't so scared. Now I know these feelings I've had all my life are not perversion as I have been reminded.

Welcome to Susan's Place :) (http://romancecompass.com/video-dating/)

Thanks kathclapp!

Hi,
You seemed worried about being out of place here because you don't have typically body dysphoria. I wouldn't be concerned with that. Many folks here are are a path that might not be considered typical. We all listen, share, try to help each other and somewhere in there get more of a handle on where our place in the world is. If you are happy with the male parts, it isn't anything to be ashamed of here. Believe me that's a lot cheaper than the alternative. Bottom line is you figure out what is right for you. My name is Moni. Glad you are here!

You sound a lot like me, and I've seen a lot of different types of people on here going though very different transitional paths, so I wouldn't worry too much about having 'typical' dysphoria. I started out feeling the same way. After 30 years of hiding myself from everyone, the depth of my gender issues became hidden from me too. As I started acknowledging this side of me, my desire to transition got stronger. It still scares me, but at the same time I'm much happier and more confident in myself. My life feels more authentic now that this stuff is coming out.

I'm glad you have made an appointment to talk with someone about it -- they'll be able to help you sort things and figure out where to go.

Torchickens and everyone else, thank you for sharing.  This helps me feel a little better about my uncertainty of even my own thougts.