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Although, I have just started HRT my family has convinced me that I should get a second and third opinion from another therapist.  I am not happy about this, but it is the only way to stop them from questioning my transition.

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You don't have to stop HRT to get more opinions. 

Furthermore, if you concede to your family now, you'll be establishing a precedent that they have power over you. Because a lot of people really don't like the idea of changing in this way at all.  Which makes it more difficult to establish important boundaries going forward.  So, you can say, "Sure, I'll get other opinions, but I'm not stopping what I just started unless I hear to the contrary from other professionals."  And then make sure you see proper gender therapists, not some crank who opposes the idea from the get-go.

I dunno, it just sounds like they are making an excuse for you to stop, rather than striving to really understand you.

Well to be honest, I was starting to have doubts anyway. I would ask myself what I was doing and why I was doing?

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Quote from: supergirl23 on October 31, 2016, 08:31:01 PM
Well to be honest, I was starting to have doubts anyway. I would ask myself what I was doing and why I was doing?

If you are having doubts , it's important to remember HRT leads to permanent changes. HRT is something you want to be very sure about.

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I tried stopping early on, several times. It didn't go so well.

Quote from: supergirl23 on October 31, 2016, 08:31:01 PM
Well to be honest, I was starting to have doubts anyway. I would ask myself what I was doing and why I was doing?

Ah, well, then it certainly makes sense to slow down and reevaluate everything. 

If the doubts have occurred after starting HRT, you need to discuss this with your therapist. The blockers reduce dysphoria to the point that some think they are "cured" and discontinue the transition. Once they stop  the blockers the dysphoria returns with a vengeance. A therapist will help you avoid the detransition/transition cycle that might happen. Detransitioning if it's not what you truly want tends to result in regret when the transition becomes the only option.

I was just upset when I posted that I had doubts. I really should have said that I would occasionally think that maybe I was alright with being a guy. And that maybe this wasn't a good idea.

My dysphoria was easing as I could finally look at myself in the mirror and not feel ugly. It felt like I was just me.
However, if I saw a pretty girl I would still wish that I could be her, so I guess it wasn't completely gone.
Is there even a reason to get a second opinion? Like I really felt great on HRT. I would only have that occasional thought telling me to stop. And that wasn't very often. I did talk with my first therapist about it and told her that I think the reason I am feeling that way is out of guilt for my family.
I was actually happy this week. Until now.

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I found stopping HRT quite beneficial, even if it was a horrible experience. I know I can't survive without it, I tried, and Ive no doubts I'm trans even when I've very little dysphoria.

The question now is can I manage without transitioning, and I'm still unclear on that one.

Quote from: supergirl23 on November 01, 2016, 01:46:36 AMI think the reason I am feeling that way is out of guilt for my family.

You have nothing to feel guilty for.  You are simply discovering yourself.  Your family is scared, because the media and culture has made all this sound like a very scary thing, but you aren't the cause of their being scared, that's their own deal.  Let it go, supergirl.  You are not responsible for their emotions. Seriously.

:angel:

When I started, I then stopped, and when it all came back, it curb stomped me.   So I restarted.

Then I stopped again, cause I was cured (woot!!)... and when it all came back, it curb stomped me double-good.   

I won't be doing that again.   I may or may not sit at the 200-300 target level for transition on the blood test, but going back to a T dominant system, simply is not an option.

If your friends and family are worried about physical changes,  talk to your doc about sitting at menopause levels, easy and stable with the right patch.   Could buy you some time....

The way I see it, it's only a couple of months. I waited 21 years eight more weeks couldn't hurt. Especially if it puts my family at ease. They are just worried that I rushed into not thinking about if this is what I really wanted. I know I'm trans, but if a second diagnosis is going to help make my transition easier on my family, it will ultimately make it easier for me.

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Its all good; and I'm not saying don't pause.  But... don't toss the pills, especially the AA's.   

Quote from: supergirl23 on November 01, 2016, 01:46:36 AM
I was just upset when I posted that I had doubts. I really should have said that I would occasionally think that maybe I was alright with being a guy. And that maybe this wasn't a good idea.

My dysphoria was easing as I could finally look at myself in the mirror and not feel ugly. It felt like I was just me.
However, if I saw a pretty girl I would still wish that I could be her, so I guess it wasn't completely gone.
Is there even a reason to get a second opinion? Like I really felt great on HRT. I would only have that occasional thought telling me to stop. And that wasn't very often. I did talk with my first therapist about it and told her that I think the reason I am feeling that way is out of guilt for my family.
I was actually happy this week. Until now.

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How you directly feel on HRT--how your brain runs--is the truest guide to whether it's right for you. No medical professional has anything to offer that is better than that. Even if they imaged your brain. The acid test is how you feel when you're on it.

In the early months I went through a lot of "WTF am I Doing ???" meltdowns. Scared of an unknown future, I was feeling better like I've had when on low dose over the centuries. Why continue? Shame, Guilt, Internalized Transphobia. For the most part my TG Support group angels helped me out of the funks. Another big factor if I tried backing off on HRT I only started to feel worse, worser, and then even worserer. It wasn't a good plan.

My wife put it best whenever things seemed going the wrong way between us because of me, I always offered to stop all the nonsense if she needed me to. Her response "We both know you cannot"

Now, back to the op....

Why can't you simply keep up on the HRT regiment AND see another therapist or two? So far you've been having a positive emotional response to it. A few months is likely not going to do much if anything physically.

The big down side is "Who gets to choose?". Finding ANY therapist with even a tiny bit of experience with living TG clients is pretty difficult in many regions. I had to travel 90 miles when I was in WV. Here in NJ in the shadow of NYC it's a lot easier to find. The Psychology Today doc-find is useful but also ripe for abuse. Some providers just click off about everything. When you call to talk to them and dig a bit into real experience.... Seems a lot boils down to I once was in a class where it came up.

Worse yet, if your parents get to choose is they seek out "unfriendlies" to hostile towards TG therapists. Hostile as in you can be fixed.

As always I can only talk about me but my hormones fixed me in a way most people can't really understand but I'll try to explain a little.

Bit like a radio signal full of static where you can hardly hear anything was my brain before but now is like crystal clear super duper surround sound stuff.

Letting T back into my brain would be to take a one way trip back to zombieville.  My recovery so far I consider to be a once in a lifetime fluke so no way in hell I'd do that.

For anyone to ask me to do it I would truly say it would be kinder for them to shoot me in the head. I'd genuinely prefer that to being killed again by T.

As for yourself you have to decide what your hormones mean to you and how far you are prepared to go for them.

A compromise of sorts could be stay on the blocker during more shrink stuff but the important part is it's your call nobody else no matter how pure their intentions can truly understand your position except you so it has to be your call.

Quote from: supergirl23 on October 31, 2016, 08:31:01 PM
Well to be honest, I was starting to have doubts anyway. I would ask myself what I was doing and why I was doing?

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I'm telling you I had those thoughts. Stopped for a while and was miserable started again and have not been happier. I am on full transition doses and it's been about three months since I started again and what I keep thinking is I wish I never stopped. And I do still have days where I think what the heck am I doing. But I remember how miserable I was. And even on full doses with clothes on its hard to tell. This is just me and everybody is different. I am on full dose and I do not plan to have surgery or even dress as my real self right now. It may change in the future but right now. I'm good. All I want right now is permanent hair removal. I know it might not be the right thing to do but I would not stop and let them think I did. Until I got those second opinions. And I would get those referrals from my current therapist. But this is just me and everybody is different.