Susan's Place Transgender Resources

So on my tinder profile I put Transitioning MTF and Genderfluid.  So I "matched" with this girl,  and she messages me "you know you cant be Transitioning MTF and Genderfluid". I asked her why not,  she told me it jist doesnt make sence.
So I told her well sometimes I feel male and sometimes im female and i want more of a female body,  then she says then your profile should be genderfluid and sergery.
I told her I was taking hormones then she said "still anyways i dont care for your 56 genders have a nice day. " So i was like ok...
I means shes not really wrong its either im mtf or gender fluid.   But I do want to be more female and look for female,  but cuz of gender dysphoria I need to presnt myself as a male at times. 
I dont like lables,  but how can I identify myself as?  Would it just ne easier if i tell people im trans?

Cis people are often preoccupied with labels. While I don't find labels particularly useful, I would try to make it as simple for them as possible within the boundaries of what you find acceptable.

It would probably be easiest if instead of using labels, you explain how you identify in your profile if it is not immediately clear. "Sometimes male, sometimes female but leaning toward a female body" is fairly easy to understand. It won't win you any fans with folks who feel the same way this girl does, but it removes a lot of basic questions from the equation that would stop them from matching with you in the first place.

Labels have their uses, but sometimes they get in the way.  I'm a fully transitioned MTF, but early on I was not sure what to call myself.  Today, I prefer to call myself 'a woman'.  Transition is as much a journey of self-discovery as of changing gender.  I would de-emphasize labeling yourself for now.  Tomorrow you may well feel different anyway.  This is not the time to make a firm decision on where you fit on the gender spectrum.  You can always choose 'Other', and follow FTMax's advice to simply describe how you see yourself now.

Quote from: FTMax on December 01, 2016, 01:35:31 PM
Cis people are often preoccupied with labels. While I don't find labels particularly useful, I would try to make it as simple for them as possible within the boundaries of what you find acceptable.

It would probably be easiest if instead of using labels, you explain how you identify in your profile if it is not immediately clear. "Sometimes male, sometimes female but leaning toward a female body" is fairly easy to understand. It won't win you any fans with folks who feel the same way this girl does, but it removes a lot of basic questions from the equation that would stop them from matching with you in the first place.

I changed it to "I am genderfluid and trying to achieve more of a female body." Hopefully that helps and thats how i feel.

My therapist told me not to get hung up on labels. I say sometimes it helps.

Sometimes people take a "Label" as religious dogma. When you are dealing with something as broad as TG that has within in something like "Non-Binary" yet you yourself may have an ideal that is contrary to that label, which do you run with? Well with whatever "Might" fit best knowing there is no "Best Fit", only an approximation.

I recently settled upon "Non-Binary" ONLY because it fits my currently reality of life situation. It sure does not change the fact that I LOVE Girlie-Girl while at the same time can out "wrench" most motor heads. (OK jocks will always win the "Manly-Man" contests. God bless them, someone needs to willing to get the crap beat out of them)

On Tinder I make it plain that I am a  post op female,  Its my choice.

  do not see anything wrong with you saying you are mtf and gender fluid. the conversation looked to me she is excepting of both. but put this together, it is weird or impossible? she seems very rude to me.

  i came out to a gay guy once in my "gay phase" he said i was weird because i did not look like a woman. in my town i think we had the "macho gay guys". this hurt and i cried a few days but now, i think back and he wanted to put his penis inside me the "weirdo" but i am the weird one. LMAO!!!

Quote from: Mikka55 on December 01, 2016, 01:01:12 PM
"still anyways i dont care for your 56 genders have a nice day. "

as larry the cable guy said:
  "i don't care who you are that's funny right there"

Well maybe i'm lieing to myself to make others feel more comfortable. I do want to and am transition.  Maybe im just keeping my male self just so people dont ask too many questions.  Family friends.  Thats also why i put gender fluid so i can shift when ever i want. But then again its not about others its how i feel. Genderfluid (Agender<->female)

I hope you won't take this the wrong way but as another nb person I found you using the term mtf confusing bcos it's means male to female. As in you're female. Wht you changed it too sounds more accurate.

For me I keep my agender side to myself and just go with people assuming I feel completely male. I don't feel like I'm lying (maybe a bit) bcos people shouldn't assume other people's gender.

Quote from: Mikka55 on December 01, 2016, 01:01:12 PM
So on my tinder profile I put Transitioning MTF and Genderfluid.  So I "matched" with this girl,  and she messages me "you know you cant be Transitioning MTF and Genderfluid". I asked her why not,  she told me it jist doesnt make sence....
then she said "still anyways i dont care for your 56 genders have a nice day. "

Is this how she gets off or something?  If she doesn't care for who you say you are, why is she wasting your time?  A simple "not interested" right at the begining would suffice.  It's Tinder, after all, not an arranged marriage or anything.

Oh, and don't you just love people who are more of an expert on who you are than you are?

BTW, I identify as no gender, but I am transitioning MTF and presenting female.  Nobody has to like it; it is, as they say, "a free country," but I'm not going to waste my time arguing with them.  Life's too short.

I too don't see anything contradictory about saying you're MtF and genderfluid. Looks like this woman was just spoiling for a fight and ready to gender police you. Not the sort of girl I'd like to be dating.
If it's relevant, I often say my body is transitioning a certain way, but that does not mean I am. I am genderqueer, but in order to be comfortable, I must undertake certain elements of both gender transitions. Perhaps you could phrase it "physically MtF, identify genderfluid."