Susan's Place Transgender Resources

What does "feeling like a woman" mean to you, in your opinion what is it to "feel like a woman"?

Being comfortable.  Whether it's thinking to myself that whatever I'm doing is feminine, or having others treat me like a woman; it just brings a sense of rest and relief that is never there when I'm trying to act male.


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This is a great question, one that I have enjoyed and played with for a couple of years. I have no idea what it feels like to be a cis woman and I believe that there are so many variances between different women, even in just one cultural group, that very few cis women could realistically understand what it is like to be a different woman. What I do know is what I feel when Anne is out and about living her life (which for now is virtually full time). It just feels right, complete, full and comfortable being me. And I think that we all understand the feeling when it is wrong and can easily differentiate feeling wrong from when it just feels really right. As intangible as it is, feeling completely Anne is a feeling that I hope to never lose and one that I will never tire of. - Anne

I'm not sure there's vocabulary for this, but I'll try.

"Feelings like a woman" to me means that I'm no longer buried, suppressing the expression of my emotions behind a protective male facade.  I am finally able to emote, move, and gesture the way I want to, rather than being forced to fit the social male role. It's not being a stoic, or an unemotional zombie.

I HAVE feelings, particularly empathy towards others, a sense of shared joy and sorrow, which I (male) wasn't supposed to have in this culture.   Now I can express these.

Quote from: Anne Blake on December 02, 2016, 01:42:55 PM
This is a great question, one that I have enjoyed and played with for a couple of years. I have no idea what it feels like to be a cis woman and I believe that there are so many variances between different women, even in just one cultural group, that very few cis women could realistically understand what it is like to be a different woman.

Good question and I share the feelings behind your answer Anne.  I sure know what it feels like to be "acting like a man" and guarding against any tell tale mannerisms, or more, that might have given me away in the past.  After a few years of transition i do know what it feels like to be my kind of woman.  For me it is precisely that lack of pretense, artifice and trying to be anything but myself.  I feel free to evolve and comfortable in any clothes because I know my self now and far less afraid to be real.  Early transition found me trying overtime to embody my own stereotypes.  I would only wear skirts and dresses and was determined to rid myself of anything man-ish.  That was fruitless for me as a lifetime of living as a man was not erasable and in the end, not necessary either.  Accepting the totality of my existence on this planet feels much better. 

Feeling like a woman means a lifetime of suppressed girlhood has been set free to hopefully achieve some maturity.  OK, someday but right now i am finishing up on a much delayed puberty ;D ;D ;D

And Michelle reminds me of the far greater wealth and depth of our emotional life and companionability with other women I now find so valuable.  I am no longer seen as a potentially threatening guy.

If you ask a CIS Woman what it feels like, they will look at you like you have two heads and green skin.  It doesn't feel like anything to them.  It just is.

But you didn't ask CIS Women, you asked us. ;)  Since I'm no where near there (yet?) I would word associate with words like:  comfort, calm, relaxing, natural.

I don't know.  I know what it feels like to pretend to be a man.  I am not at the point yet of "being" a woman.  And I'll never be a cis woman, so I'll never know that.  Ask me again whan I've been on HRT for a few months.

Well...I'm not sure, but it doesn't feel like insanity or crippling depression. That's what whatever I was doing before HRT felt like. So although I can't quantify to you what it does feel like, I certainly can tell you what it doesn't feel like. ???

You can't put it into words. You just feel you are one, deep within. The problem is social, cultural, family influences often cloud your sense of self and distance you from your truth. Feel rather than think. ;)

For me it simply means not feeling dysphoria, depressed, and angry.


It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.
André Gide, Autumn Leaves

Having the right parts. All of the right parts. It's doable too, and just a few more years till it's actually legal.

A little song called "Genie in a Bottle"....


I feel like I've been locked up tight     **being a woman who can't show her true self**
For a century of lonely nights                *self explanatory*
Waiting for someone to release me            *just waiting... to be free*
I'm a genie in a bottle                       **the bottle being our bodies***

The music's fading and the lights down low           **the music is a metaphor for our youth**
Just one more dance and then we're good to go          **just need a chance, knowing that time is ending**
Waiting for someone                                       **for true love, for wholeness***
Who needs me
Hormones racing at the speed of light                       **transforming**


Ooohhh, my body's sayin' let's go                  **her chance**
Ooohhh, but my heart is sayin' no                   **she doesn't really love the man, but she given up out of desperation**


I can make your wish come true         *desperation, and the hormones, and the timing causes her to be that woman who will fulfill the lover's wishes**

Just come and set me free baby
And I'll be with you 

**If the man makes her feel like a woman, then she will be with him even if she doesn't love him**

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OyIaq-7Wlzs

Also watch the video pretending that Christina Aguilera is a born man (who hasn't transition), and the beautiful blonde woman is her true self.

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffiles.ampya.com%2Fartwork%2Fposterframes%2F00076%2F0007644%2Fv0007644_posterframe.jpg&hash=00c5005b83e0c2fddc39e89a4b22bf2fd24bc36f)

the interesting thing, to me at least, is there's no sense or logic to be made of it. This thing has a life of its own. I sit and try to logically ascertain why I'm doing what I'm doing (transition) and can in no way make it all add up in my mind. I am simply compelled to continue following the path. All in spite of my critical thought processes telling me it's all insane. The fact is for me, there is no stopping this train once it left the station. Regardless of all the logic and hard reality I throw at it, it just rolls on and I roll with it.  This is antithetical to everything I've ever done in my life, by the way. For the first time, my emotions are taking the drivers seat and leaving "him", tied up and screaming in the back seat. My hope is to eventually move him to the trunk so I can quit hearing him whine. ::)  After all, I have places to be and he's annoying me and slowing me down.  L.O.L.

I wouldn't say it's something I feel so much as something I react to.

Freedom!  :) That one word encapsulates my experience.

Much like others have said its just the ability to be myself. Just simple things.

I can talk with my hands without feeling judged. I naturally use hand motions a lot when talking. I have had to train myself over the years to keep my hands at my sides or in my pockets because yes I have had guys look at me funny when I talk with my hands.
I can let my emotions flow. It's tiring surpressing my feelings. Being the stoic man character is depressing. I actually feel happiness now.
Connected to the last two is letting my emotions be expressed in my speech. It really makes communication more fun. I can also get involved in conversations that have real meaning to me. For instance chatting with a few of the moms from my kids school about our kids. These kinds of interactions leave me feeling good.

Just feeling like I'm close to being what has been in my head my whole life. Not pretending, not needing to calculate if a particular movement will appear feminine to others, not hiding all the time, just living. ;D


Jentay, I agree that there is no logic to it. After all logically why would someone put themselves through all the social upheaval? I've tried to explain the feeling of needing the change to happen and why it feels so important to be started as quickly as possible. I have found no logic just that I need it to happen. For me that's enough. For others, that's just going to have to do as I have no other answer.