Community Conversation => Transitioning => Coming out of the closet => Topic started by: arijames on December 08, 2016, 12:12:00 PM Return to Full Version

Title: coming out to my doctor before anyone else?
Post by: arijames on December 08, 2016, 12:12:00 PM
I have a doctor's appointment scheduled soon, and I really want to talk to him about the dysphoria that I've been feeling lately, but I'm also incredibly nervous. I live in a very religious, bigoted, small town and there is only one out trans person that's managed to stay here. I don't really know what to expect from the appointment - what he'll say, if he'll believe me, if he'll suggest I go see a therapist before he prescribes me anything.

I'm also not sure if I should come out and start presenting more masculine before I speak to the doctor about physical transition, or if I should talk to him about it so that I have a more practical understanding of what my transition will be like. Any advice?
Title: Re: coming out to my doctor before anyone else?
Post by: Denise on December 08, 2016, 01:46:20 PM
Seeing a therapist is very important.  They will be able to guide you and help you in more ways than meets the eye.  Just as someone to talk to to help you figure all this out.  Please find a therapist and if you can find one who specializes in gender issues, all the better.
Title: Re: coming out to my doctor before anyone else?
Post by: DawnOday on December 08, 2016, 03:12:41 PM
A gender therapist would be my first stop. Finding an ally is most helpful. Here are some resources for online gender therapists. If you live in too rural of an area and don't have access to a large city, you can try one of these.  https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php?topic=121007.0
Title: Re: coming out to my doctor before anyone else?
Post by: Dena on December 08, 2016, 04:03:35 PM
Welcome to Susan's Place. Something you need to remember when talking to your doctor(s) is they are the hired help. If a doctor treated you improperly, fire their back side. There are plenty of other doctors out there and the current doctors are given training in LGBT behavior. I had one in the emergency room who made the mistake of misgendering me but before I could object, he corrected himself. If you like the doctor, you can attempt to educate them but never stay with a doctor who mistreats you.

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Title: Re: coming out to my doctor before anyone else?
Post by: Mariah on December 08, 2016, 04:43:20 PM
it depends on you and what your comfortable doing. I wasn't fully dressed feminine when I saw mine at the time, but I was dressed though that he got the message and with what I told him it was enough to forward me on to another doctor who could help me jump through the necessary hoops. In the end, it comes down to what your comfortable doing at that moment. Between now and then, you could flip on your decision a few times so don't sweat it. You will get there when you are ready. Hugs
Mariah
Title: Re: coming out to my doctor before anyone else?
Post by: April_Girl on December 15, 2016, 02:04:58 PM
I did this yesterday, in the UK you need a referral to the gender clinic from a doctor, I did not use our usual male family doctor but picked a female doctor who specialises in women's health at our local surgery, I have to say she was understanding, compassionate and pretty amazing, she is now arranging my referral and blood tests for the new year.

It felt really good talking this over with her and I'm looking forward to further chats and therapy.

She was the first person I have talked to face to face and come out to about this so far.