Susan's Place Transgender Resources

It took  me 3 years to get over that problem , now I just ignore it

It took me 4 month before hormones losing muscle mass and 3 month on HRt to get enough physical changes to forget about that ... however , the penis I had until last nov 23 always made me remember how much I hated my genitals and also that It wasn't right ( I was still male in a dress )

Quote from: archlord on December 09, 2016, 04:03:39 PM
It took me 4 month before hormones losing muscle mass and 3 month on HRt to get enough physical changes to forget about that ... however , the penis I had until last nov 23 always made me remember how much I hated my genitals and also that It wasn't right ( I was still male in a dress )

congrats you look good

 ???

I don't think of myself as a man even if I look like a man. I feel like I'm impersonating the wrong body like this is a disguise. By assuming I am a man in a dress, means I never was a woman, which I clearly am inside.

Attitude.  If you think you are a MIAD then others will too.

I actually avoid dresses.  Skirts with tops or pants.  Or maybe a sweater dress with leggings but not a full blown dress until the girls come in more.

I've found if you are comfortable, so are those around you. 

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Quote from: Denise on December 09, 2016, 04:37:50 PM
I actually avoid dresses.

Me too. I can't quite pull them off, so why even try. Long skirts work very well for me. And as a plus I get to sidestep the whole Dude in a Dress issue.  It's actually a little know loophole in the contract that I signed when I became an avowed transsexual.

Greatly depends what I wear. For most parts I can pull it off. Was given a dress this week from one of my girlfriends... tried it and totally felt like dude in a dress.. I know she really meant it to be a nice thing but I am not sure about the dress itself...

that happened to me a long time ago when I bought my first dress. It was from  a Hippie shop and kind of like those granny dresses and I felt so distraught

I had that problem on my second therapy session, the first time I ever left the house dressed as myself. I was immensely self-conscious and nervous, frightened really that someone would point at me and shout "Dude in a dress" even though it was a turtleneck and jeans, mid length coat, blue-black reverse bob wig. (OK, bad hair choice. All I had was the old cosplay hair.)  I was frightened to even get out of the car. I did, made it into the office, and promptly got "Ma'am"d by the receptionist. (Well trained...)  That helped immensely.

Next appointment I forced myself to go into a Starbucks right after. No issues.  Appointment after that I bought a couple things in an Old Navy. I slowly started to lose the fear.

Some of this is in my earliest posts here on Susan's Place.

I really don't get that feeling any more when wearing something age and figure appropriate.  If I try on something highly inappropriate, yeah, dude in a dress. It's really just my fashion sense sounding an alarm that the clothing Just Won't Work [emoji849].


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where's the radio button for "still" . I'll let you know when I get past it....if ever.

I never looked at myself as that, but a guy who knew I was trans called me a man in a dress after I rejected him because he had been with 3 other transgenders.

all depends on the person, i dont think i will ever get away from that

but the key to it is who gives a poop be happy and be you, if i was concerned about what people thought of me i would have never transitioned and i would still be an angry man rather then the happy person i am now

Quote from: archlord on December 09, 2016, 04:03:39 PM
It took me 4 month before hormones losing muscle mass and 3 month on HRt to get enough physical changes to forget about that ... however , the penis I had until last nov 23 always made me remember how much I hated my genitals and also that It wasn't right ( I was still male in a dress )

This. ^^

Having a penis in my panties is the worst. Have terrible dysphoria about it.  Thanks WPATH, for the suffering I must endure in order to have insurance cover my SRS.

~Terri

Depending on which point in my Life/Transition you ask about, the answer is either Always, or Never.

Back in my early 20's during both of my utter fail transition 'Experiments' I never could shake the Man In A Dress feeling. So much so I think I exuded it to the point everyone in the universe could sense it.... and make me know they did.  Heck, at 6ft tall and big everything in a world filled with 5'5" women and 5'10" men what chance did I stand? But then that was the early 80's, mainly

About 7 years ago I once again ventured out into the light of day, in a dress. That time I reveled in the joy of being out in the real world as the real me. Still (Almost) 6ft tall, big everything and in a dress. That time, nuttin. No unwanted attention. No unappreciated comments. All in Hillbilly country vs the shadow of NYC as in the past.

Attitude. Helped, nurtured, fostered by the hard work I did to fix myself from the inside. I had shed a lot of the baggage I carried. I worked to turn around my self esteem and to minimize my own internalized transphobia. Something I always need to be vigilant of and to do.

Still that is a small price to pay for the joy of being and feeling me

I think we all suffer from this to different degrees. It's just a side effect of the dysphoria we all face. I am one of the very unfortunate trans women cursed with broad shoulders so knowing that and dressing accordingly is a must. It does suck when you find a dress you really like but know will make you stick out like a sore thumb. Every woman cis or trans has to learn to dress appropriately for their shape. For example I know I have to wear mostly black tops to minimize my shoulders for me learning to dress in a way that brings attention where I want it and distraction where I need it has been like a right of passage for me. I'm always learning new ways to improve and enjoy the challenge. I hope you will find this encouraging and maybe find a more positive outlook towards the challenges of dressing according to what we have instead of what we don't.



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I came out full time months before starting HRT.  Even though i did not think of myself as a man I did understand that I had been masculinized by a lifetime of testosterone and male roles with a typically more masculine face and skeletal structure.  I knew other people could see me that way and actually heard those comments.  I vowed to be free and decide for myself what transition would mean and how far I needed to go.  I fully expected that i did not and likely would not pass as a cisgender woman.  Over a few years I became so much more comfortable as just myself that I often forget or didn't care what someone else thinks of my appearance.  I really love and fully embrace diversity and find life over the rainbow is far more free and interesting.  It took a lifetime to get here. 

The past is a memory, the future unknown and the present a gift to experience right now.

For me, that hat has a LOT to do with my passing. As I started out with HRT, my passing wasn't that good, which resulted in lots of unwanted stares. That definitely made me feel like I didn't belong.

Even after I discovered I had passing privilege, it took time. Took me around three months to realize I had passing privilege on first glance, which gave me the courage to go shopping a lot. I must add, this is also a step I took, to force myself to "try the privilege" while shopping.

Some months of shopping and living the life later, I gradually discovered my privilege was slowly extending itself to passing 24/7, even on second glance or after 2 hour conversations. This was a major impetus for me to start 'living the life' a lot more, and together with that, the feeling of not belonging slowly diminished.

Sure, I'm pre-op and after having been on hormones for just over 13 months, there are still things to be done. I haven't yet mustered up the courage to go in bikini (abdominal fat), and the pre-op thing is a dead giveaway when not tucking. But since SRS is coming up in 8 months, I'm pretty sure that'll fade as well!

:D