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Hi, I know some of you like me self harm or have done so in the past. I know its a bad coping mechanism but i can't break the cycle, not now at any rate. My biggest problem with it is that I'm supposed to be a teacher and got to be a role model for the teens. Which I can't be showing cuts and scars, so I need to hide them some how. Most days I where long sleeves which is fine now that it is winter but what to do when spring comes with the higher temperature? would it be okay to always ware long sleeves for the rest of my life. Bracelets sort of work some times but with the risk of them showing some when it shifts position.

Any ideas?
Hugs       

My first inclination given the fact your a teacher and especially  dealing with an  age group that is prone to be sensitive to suicide ideation is to see professional help

Quote from: stephaniec on December 19, 2016, 03:13:52 PM
My first inclination given the fact your a teacher and especially  dealing with an  age group that is prone to be sensitive to suicide ideation is to see professional help

You are right of course, I'm talking to my therapist about it but the sessions is so far apart that it doesn't give me the umph to quit.   

I'd go to the nearest emergency room and show them your arms. You are totally right in worrying about your students if not yourself

Wearing lite loose long sleve fabrics help in summer and dont rub against the skin, ( or you could blame it on the cat like other S/H's do or like one of my toxicology docs tried to convince me of her child did )
If you feel your therapy sessions are to long apart maybe see another one where you are able to talk more often as I found that was the best help along with keeping a diary of whats happened....

Cheers Tracy

Thanks stephaniec and Floritine, I will go see if i can find a secondary therapist after the holidays and thanks for the other  advice as well

Quote from: Floritine on December 19, 2016, 05:07:23 PM
Wearing lite loose long sleve fabrics help in summer and dont rub against the skin, ( or you could blame it on the cat like other S/H's do or like one of my toxicology docs tried to convince me of her child did )
If you feel your therapy sessions are to long apart maybe see another one where you are able to talk more often as I found that was the best help along with keeping a diary of whats happened....

Cheers Tracy

Cat's doesn't do as regular and as many cuts I'm afraid :/

I am so glad to hear that you are getting help for this. I have never been here as pain is a part of my daily living and I try to avoid it.  I know this is a real problem and lots of people face it.  Do not feel like you are alone.  I'm sure one of us will always be here to talk.  Have you tried foundation.  I know it might hurt but it could conceal it until your ready to talk about it.  Continue seeking professional help and know you are not alone. When you are ready don't conceal it but use it as a talking point to students to be a support line for them. 
We often find that healing hurts, the scars of the past never totally go away but that we can use them to mold us and make us stronger for ourselves and others.  The scars hidden and seen are reminders of where we have come from and how strong we really are!   Keep your chin-up head held high and do not be afraid to be strong but remember even the load bearing beam needs a couple of supports, so never be afraid to ask for help or give it.  Be yourself and as you accept yourself others will too!   


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Quote from: Jasmine777 on December 20, 2016, 02:16:06 AM
I am so glad to hear that you are getting help for this. I have never been here as pain is a part of my daily living and I try to avoid it.  I know this is a real problem and lots of people face it.  Do not feel like you are alone.  I'm sure one of us will always be here to talk.  Have you tried foundation.  I know it might hurt but it could conceal it until your ready to talk about it.  Continue seeking professional help and know you are not alone. When you are ready don't conceal it but use it as a talking point to students to be a support line for them. 
We often find that healing hurts, the scars of the past never totally go away but that we can use them to mold us and make us stronger for ourselves and others.  The scars hidden and seen are reminders of where we have come from and how strong we really are!   Keep your chin-up head held high and do not be afraid to be strong but remember even the load bearing beam needs a couple of supports, so never be afraid to ask for help or give it.  Be yourself and as you accept yourself others will too!   


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Thank you for your support, it's so wonderful to get some support some time, I thank you all.     
The cuts and scars is for me only, I don't want to show them to anyone, that would only make me feel more shame.  At least for now.  I will try with some foundation and maby concealer, will have to see how that would work over a full day though.

Thanks once again <3

Another long term option is once your S/H is under control and they have fully healed is covering them with some nice tatoo work....

Cheers Tracy

Quote from: stephaniec on December 19, 2016, 04:53:46 PM
I'd go to the nearest emergency room and show them your arms. You are totally right in worrying about your students if not yourself

Self harm is not generally given much attention unless it is life threatening. ED's do this because it can add to the risk/reward behavior. Which is where self harm falls in as well. It not suicidal ideation. Few cutters have no intent to die. The brain processes involved are very similar to the risk/reward process with gambling and drug addiction and other "bad habits." Simply telling or pleading with a cutter to stop is as likely to produce results as telling someone to curb other compulsive behavors.

The tough part is that this needs serious therapy and there are good standards out there to deal with it (DBT and CBT) but they take lots of time. .. not as much as rehab but the work is as hard.

Hang in there Vinya, and please get help!

I recommend wearing long sleeves no matter the weather.... bracelets won't work because of the off chance they show the scars.

Bad profession for those kind of arms to be honest.

Quote from: Floritine on December 22, 2016, 01:38:22 AM
Another long term option is once your S/H is under control and they have fully healed is covering them with some nice tatoo work....

Cheers Tracy

That will probably be my long term solution once I'm rid of this behaviour

Quote from: Wild Flower on December 22, 2016, 04:22:50 AM
Bad profession for those kind of arms to be honest.

You are right ofc and I may just stick to the system engineering rout that I deviated from to become a teacher. 

Another option could be a skin graph. While it still would show scars where it is attached.  It could be a lot less scaring


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Are you working as a male?  If so, just wear long-sleeved dress shirts, like I do to avoid questions about the hair-removal on my arms...

Quote from: stephaniec on December 19, 2016, 03:13:52 PMage group that is prone to be sensitive to suicide ideation

I'm 90% sure this is a myth.  Please show a study which says teens are made more suicidal due to these sorts of mild suggestions of self-harm...

DBT and CBT is can be great and usually requries you see a therapist that trained in it in conjuntion with group threapy, but as Ive found out having the right therapist is the key from the start be it a councilor or psych and the group is a commitment that does 4 different moduals and there is a book by Marsha Linehan on DBT which is a great read and what most groups are based on.......

Cheers Tracy

Quote from: PrincessCrystal on December 24, 2016, 12:35:15 AM
Are you working as a male?  If so, just wear long-sleeved dress shirts, like I do to avoid questions about the hair-removal on my arms...
I'm 90% sure this is a myth.  Please show a study which says teens are made more suicidal due to these sorts of mild suggestions of self-harm...

From my S/H over the years and in and out of hospital I find the younger ones can be worse but they already had other problems and some turn it into a game who is better at harming, where as older mature people are less likely to play who is better at it....
But 90% is a myth, most people (kids / teens / adults ) have underlying issues before they resort to S/H ,,,,,,,,,,

Cheers Tracy

I too have issues with cutting and also bad tattoos from my "try hard" period and on boy mode I always wore long sleeves to hide my numerous scars and cheap, horrid tattoos. Slowly I am now building my feminine wardrobe and finding great long sleeve pieces to wear. I'd say it would be okay to always wear long sleeves for you.  Keen to this issue, I have looked around at other women and even in the depths of the hot mid-Atlantic USA summer I have seen quite a few wearing long sleeves. Not most people, but enough to where you wouldn't draw attention. Of course it can limit your clothing choices, but if it's the summer months I do not believe you'll necessarily look out of place or anything. Rock those long sleeves, be confident and you'll be okay.

Quote from: PrincessCrystal on December 24, 2016, 12:35:15 AM
Are you working as a male?  If so, just wear long-sleeved dress shirts, like I do to avoid questions about the hair-removal on my arms...

I'm full time sins alittle over a year. Long sleeves seem to be the best option even as a woman.

Quote from: Floritine on December 24, 2016, 12:55:01 AM
From my S/H over the years and in and out of hospital I find the younger ones can be worse but they already had other problems and some turn it into a game who is better at harming, where as older mature people are less likely to play who is better at it....
But 90% is a myth, most people (kids / teens / adults ) have underlying issues before they resort to S/H ,,,,,,,,,,

Cheers Tracy

I would tend to agree with the notion that there always is a underlying problem that result in SI/SH not the other way around.

Quote from: Petti on December 24, 2016, 01:14:57 AM
I too have issues with cutting and also bad tattoos from my "try hard" period and on boy mode I always wore long sleeves to hide my numerous scars and cheap, horrid tattoos. Slowly I am now building my feminine wardrobe and finding great long sleeve pieces to wear. I'd say it would be okay to always wear long sleeves for you.  Keen to this issue, I have looked around at other women and even in the depths of the hot mid-Atlantic USA summer I have seen quite a few wearing long sleeves. Not most people, but enough to where you wouldn't draw attention. Of course it can limit your clothing choices, but if it's the summer months I do not believe you'll necessarily look out of place or anything. Rock those long sleeves, be confident and you'll be okay.

Thank you, that observation did give me some hope :)

Thanks for all the support ladies, it really helped, have been worried over this for quite some time.

So to summarise, It is okay to were long sleeves year around, Avoid bracelets becaus the of chanse of cuts/scars showing, Try make-up and consider a long term solution like tattoo and/or skin graft.

I will take all these tips and work on a long-term plan for recovery and concealment.

Thanks again all, hugs <3
 

Quote from: Vinya on December 24, 2016, 01:39:42 AM
Thank you, that observation did give me some hope :)

You're welcome. Happy Holidays to you.