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Hi All,

I've been on low dose E for probably 5 months now.  My left breast has developed a rather large hard area under the nipple.   I'm guessing my breast is budding.  Even though I love the feeling, my wife isn't too happy and I've decided to tell my doctor that I'm going to cut back my dosage or stop it entirely.   Will this make the bud go away or will this be permanent?

Thanks,
Paige :)

At five months and the fact you say it only started to become a hard lump.
I would say it will disappear!
Do you want to stop is the better question??

You can't stop for other people. Trust me, it is not a good idea. I stopped for my boyfriend, and ended up in a downward spiral.... always put yourself first, and put your happiness first. At the end of the day, the only person that matters and the only person that will always be there, is yourself!!


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If you like the changes I guarantee you will start again. You can NOT just make this go away.


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I'm assuming she knows you are taking E. If not ,it is a pretty good idea to tell her. If she knows than this should not be a surprise to her. I'm on low dose too but so far my band size is 40 and the full breast is 44. It is getting to the point where it is increasingly difficult to walk around like there is nothing on my chest. Even my hair is getting hard to stuff under a hat. But I knew this was going to happen just not as quickly as it has. So did my Wife and kids as I laid it all out for them before I started.  I put it off for so long I just can't see myself discontinuing and since I have been on HRT for over 4 months I am nearing the point of no return. I am prepared to get my own place if she objects too much. But she needs me as much as I need her.

Quote from: ChristineRachel on December 20, 2016, 01:16:25 PM
At five months and the fact you say it only started to become a hard lump.
I would say it will disappear!
Do you want to stop is the better question??

Hi Christine,

No I don't want to stop but I just can't figure a way to go forward.  Thanks for the comment.

Quote from: Pinderxx on December 20, 2016, 03:38:46 PM
You can't stop for other people. Trust me, it is not a good idea. I stopped for my boyfriend, and ended up in a downward spiral.... always put yourself first, and put your happiness first. At the end of the day, the only person that matters and the only person that will always be there, is yourself!!

Hi Pinder,

I just can't see going forward at this point.  If I was younger and not mid-50s, I would probably go for it.  At this point I'm just trying to survive, thus the low dose E. 

As for me being the only person that will always be there, I'm not sure.  I hope not.  I have two great teenage daughters that I just don't want to screw up their lives.

Quote from: JessicaSondelli on December 20, 2016, 05:52:15 PM
If you like the changes I guarantee you will start again. You can NOT just make this go away.

Hi Jessica,

Being in my mid-50s it has haunted me my whole life.  I know it won't go away and I'll be back at it again.  I'm just stalling for time now.

Quote from: DawnOday on December 20, 2016, 06:16:07 PM
I'm assuming she knows you are taking E. If not ,it is a pretty good idea to tell her. If she knows than this should not be a surprise to her. I'm on low dose too but so far my band size is 40 and the full breast is 44. It is getting to the point where it is increasingly difficult to walk around like there is nothing on my chest. Even my hair is getting hard to stuff under a hat. But I knew this was going to happen just not as quickly as it has. So did my Wife and kids as I laid it all out for them before I started.  I put it off for so long I just can't see myself discontinuing and since I have been on HRT for over 4 months I am nearing the point of no return. I am prepared to get my own place if she objects too much. But she needs me as much as I need her.

Hi Dawn,

Yes she knows I'm on E but isn't exactly pleased with that.  The breast bud really doesn't sit well with her.  I didn't expect this to happen this quick, I thought would take a while before I would need to make a decision about whether to fully commit.  I'm hoping that reducing my E will allow me more time to figure things out, although I know more time probably won't help.  At least it may give me a chance to catch my breath.  In a kind world, I would have transition years ago.


Thanks for all the comments everyone,
Paige :)

Dear Paige,

Take a look at this post by Grace.... Her story might sound awfully familiar to you...

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php?topic=217780.0


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Quote from: JessicaSondelli on December 20, 2016, 05:52:15 PM
You can NOT just make this go away.

She's right.  And the very real possibility exists that if you don't take this chance at happiness for yourself and decide to go back, then feelings of resentment could color your relationship with your family going forward.  Especially now that you know what you'll be missing.

Ignore the comments of "don't stop for someone else". Only YOU know what's good for your life. That means, only you know if this person means more to you than the reason you started the meds. However, I also agree that you NEED to be honest with your wife. The point of marriage IS commitment, and there is no commitment without honesty.

Now, for your question itself, the lumps (breast buds), are typically known to stay once formed. However, the fast distribution aside from that would likely redistribute. However, your doctor would still likely know better than some randomly lady's guess on a internet forum.

Quote from: Kadence1 on December 20, 2016, 03:38:46 PM
You can't stop for other people. Trust me, it is not a good idea. I stopped for my boyfriend, and ended up in a downward spiral.... always put yourself first, and put your happiness first. At the end of the day, the only person that matters and the only person that will always be there, is yourself!!

Kadence speaks wisely!

I stopped for exactly the same reason (sorta) and in 2 months I almost lost my wife, my job, my life.  Basically I had a complete melt down.  BE VERY CAREFUL.

Oh - and when I stopped I had what I would consider marble (small grape?) size lump/breast growth.  In 2 months they were almost completely gone (  >:( )  But my Dr told me that once you have breasts, you have breasts.  You can't go back.  So I would say YMMV.

Please consider for whom you are transitioning.

Quote from: JessicaSondelli on December 21, 2016, 07:41:39 AM
Dear Paige,

Take a look at this post by Grace.... Her story might sound awfully familiar to you...

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php?topic=217780.0

Hi Jessica,

Thank you for pointing me at Grace's post.  Yes and no.   There are similarities, but also major differences.  My wife and I have been together for about 30 years. We have two girls in college. Well she didn't know about me when we first moved in together, she soon found out about it, less than a year in.  I've battle with it off and on since then.  For a long time I thought I could beat this with distraction.  I now know better and my wife is starting to slowly understand that this is me and I can't change.  My wife doesn't want me transitioning, she's not a lesbian or bisexual.

In the last two years I've come to understand that I really needed to do something.  My therapist and doctor thought it would be helpful to try HRT.  I started on dutasteride (2+years now), then last year I took spiro for about 6 months and then switched to low dose E.  As I said previously, it's been about 5 months now.

When I look back at this time, I'll probably realize that this was the time I decided to fully transition, but right now I'm really indecisive because of all the family ramifications.

Quote from: Jane Emily on December 21, 2016, 06:16:04 PM
She's right.  And the very real possibility exists that if you don't take this chance at happiness for yourself and decide to go back, then feelings of resentment could color your relationship with your family going forward.  Especially now that you know what you'll be missing.

Hi Jane,

I've said this to my wife numerous times.  I'm really worried I'm going to be bitter and grumpy for the rest of my life if I stop now.

Quote from: Denise on December 22, 2016, 03:57:28 PM
Kadence speaks wisely!

I stopped for exactly the same reason (sorta) and in 2 months I almost lost my wife, my job, my life.  Basically I had a complete melt down.  BE VERY CAREFUL.

Oh - and when I stopped I had what I would consider marble (small grape?) size lump/breast growth.  In 2 months they were almost completely gone (  >:( )  But my Dr told me that once you have breasts, you have breasts.  You can't go back.  So I would say YMMV.

Please consider for whom you are transitioning.

Hi Denise,

I stopped for about a week and it completely drove me crazy and I was feeling physically ill actually.  Weird I had major pain where ovaries would be if I was cis-female.  Anyway I went back on low dose E and this all went away.

Actually my lump is about twice as big as a grape.  I feel like my breasts are probably going to get bigger but I don't dare stop.  In some ways I feel like E is dragging me up this mountain.  I really enjoy what it's doing to my body but I'm scared that it going to blowup my family life.

Thanks everyone for the comments.
Paige :)