Community Conversation => Transitioning => Coming out of the closet => Topic started by: April_Girl on December 23, 2016, 05:07:58 AM Return to Full Version
Title: I came out to my wife last night
Post by: April_Girl on December 23, 2016, 05:07:58 AM
Post by: April_Girl on December 23, 2016, 05:07:58 AM
My epi9 came yesterday and the wife looked worried as she is asian and has no hair growth on the body at all she knew it was not a xmas present for her.
Later on we both got pretty drunk and in a heart to heart she asked me what was going on as I have not been the best person to be around these last 6 months.
I let it all out and told her everything, she was more releaved as she was thinking I had someone else or wanted to split up.
She wants us to stay together but everything has to come in baby steps, she is more than happy for me to start HRT but slowly and not full speed, and that we stay together and look after our daughter is her main priority.
I'm pretty happy today that the person I love is now involved, coming to terms with all this and making progress has been a great relief and I have not been this happy or self confident in years.
Later on we both got pretty drunk and in a heart to heart she asked me what was going on as I have not been the best person to be around these last 6 months.
I let it all out and told her everything, she was more releaved as she was thinking I had someone else or wanted to split up.
She wants us to stay together but everything has to come in baby steps, she is more than happy for me to start HRT but slowly and not full speed, and that we stay together and look after our daughter is her main priority.
I'm pretty happy today that the person I love is now involved, coming to terms with all this and making progress has been a great relief and I have not been this happy or self confident in years.
Title: Re: I came out to my wife last night
Post by: Cindy on December 23, 2016, 05:20:45 AM
Post by: Cindy on December 23, 2016, 05:20:45 AM
Sounds as if you where lucky this time!
Your wife is accepting and has ignored or forgiven the issue that you were hiding. Maybe make sure you are very open and understanding to her needs and questions from now on?
Your wife is accepting and has ignored or forgiven the issue that you were hiding. Maybe make sure you are very open and understanding to her needs and questions from now on?
Title: Re: I came out to my wife last night
Post by: Artesia on December 23, 2016, 05:26:53 AM
Post by: Artesia on December 23, 2016, 05:26:53 AM
Watch the bad habits built up over time. I still occasionally don't mention the shoe or clothes browsing, or purchases as I should, spent to much time hiding it.
Title: Re: I came out to my wife last night
Post by: Raell on December 23, 2016, 06:15:36 AM
Post by: Raell on December 23, 2016, 06:15:36 AM
Your wife being Asian may be a factor with her acceptance.
Here in Thailand, a high percentage of people are bisexual, and side lovers for either husband or wife of either or both genders are seemingly accepted with many married couples. In fact, many married people don't even live together, just visit occasionally.
One Thai woman friend complained to me that she might have to divorce her husband because he was talking about coming home and living with her. She said she didn't think she could take having him around underfoot.
They see all people as made up of female and male energy, yin and yang, and with Thai Buddhism, a Third Gender is allowed.
Here, trans people work jobs in mainstream society, most without even trying to pass.
Here in Thailand, a high percentage of people are bisexual, and side lovers for either husband or wife of either or both genders are seemingly accepted with many married couples. In fact, many married people don't even live together, just visit occasionally.
One Thai woman friend complained to me that she might have to divorce her husband because he was talking about coming home and living with her. She said she didn't think she could take having him around underfoot.
They see all people as made up of female and male energy, yin and yang, and with Thai Buddhism, a Third Gender is allowed.
Here, trans people work jobs in mainstream society, most without even trying to pass.
Title: Re: I came out to my wife last night
Post by: Deborah on December 23, 2016, 07:33:17 AM
Post by: Deborah on December 23, 2016, 07:33:17 AM
My wife is Asian too, NE Asian. When she thought all this was about cheating on her she was insanely angry all the time. When I finally broke down a while back and told her what was going on she took that very well. I might not go so far as to say she was happy about it but her anger disappeared nearly instantly.
It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.
André Gide, Autumn Leaves
It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.
André Gide, Autumn Leaves
Title: Re: I came out to my wife last night
Post by: Denise on December 23, 2016, 07:38:26 AM
Post by: Denise on December 23, 2016, 07:38:26 AM
Congratulations on a huge step.
One thing I've learned (learning) is that you think about this 100% of the time and maybe even want to talk about it 100% of the time. Your wife may also be thinking about it all the time but, at least in my case, she didn't want to talk about it all the time.
Going slowly means just that.
One thing I've learned (learning) is that you think about this 100% of the time and maybe even want to talk about it 100% of the time. Your wife may also be thinking about it all the time but, at least in my case, she didn't want to talk about it all the time.
Going slowly means just that.
Title: Re: I came out to my wife last night
Post by: April_Girl on December 23, 2016, 07:53:37 AM
Post by: April_Girl on December 23, 2016, 07:53:37 AM
Thank you all for the reply's, I will take it slow and let it build overtime as I have a long wait for the GIC but I am now full of hope for the future.
Title: Re: I came out to my wife last night
Post by: Megan. on December 23, 2016, 08:24:30 AM
Post by: Megan. on December 23, 2016, 08:24:30 AM
The GIC process is sloooow, but I found it gave me the time to figure out alot of things and how far I needed to go. All the GIC can help you with is the medical/physical stuff, but I feel the mental changes I have been through the last 2 years and that are still continuing are both greater and more important to me and my wellbeing that any of the physical stuff.