Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I'm on the plane right looking at my old letters. I can't help but to laugh at myself. those who know, last year I was on HRT for a little bit. Once I had stop I fell apart but, looking back now, I felt so stupid on the pipe dream of transitioning. I fell into despair this I left and even now sometimes I get depressed, I just remind myself its a pipe dream, something that can only exist in my dreams. Its like trying to catch the full moon in a mirrored lake.

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Having been in the same place myself I can relate. That said...never say never! :)

never is never. although I do not care for human life, I'm not heartless not soulless. There are to many people who know me as me. When you realize something is impossible: impossible being you have the option and nothing is standing against you, your fully committed however its impossible to obtain, you fall into despair. once you fall into despair, you'll experience things of your darkest nightmares, you'll start crawling in agony, clawing at the ground to make the pain stop. you may even attempt to end your life. if you manage to survive, you'll be left with a massive hole and from this you'll realize the truth. people are different. some its easier, some its a harder and others its just absolutely impossible. why is this? its not fate nor is it destiny, its just something that can't be changed. you can try and change it but you're guaranteed to fail if your in fact one of those that suffer this unfortunate fate. for me its easy, but its just impossible. I can say never because never truly means never. anyways, what's the point on even trying now. with what's going on, I'm going to turn my back on the community once the fighting starts because of my lack of remorse and because its non of my business. sure I did say I will stay and help but I will not go easy, sugarcoat anything nor show empathy because I'm just not a warm hearted and nice person.

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