Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Post operative life => Topic started by: lilredneckgirl on December 27, 2016, 07:55:30 PM Return to Full Version

Title: Getting read
Post by: lilredneckgirl on December 27, 2016, 07:55:30 PM
I transitioned  way  back,  2003,  and  met  my  husband  a  year later,  married,    just  kinda  forgot  about  the  drama  of  getting  read.  Im  in  a  small  town,  so  everyone  knows  me  and  my  history,  no  big  deal  anymore. 
  so  anyways,  my husband  is  out  of  town  for  a  few  weeks,  and  Sunday  I drive  up  to  see  him  for  a  few  hours.    Non  eventful,  a  good  visit,    the  people  he  is  with  are  nice,  chatting  ,  etc. 
  tonight  i  call  him  and  he tells  me hes  getting  grief  from them   as  someone realized  I  had  transitioned. 
  He says  hes  ok,  and  its  no  big  deal,  and  I  am  thinking  if  its  not  a big  deal,  why did  you  mention  it? 
  we  have  been  married  coming  on  13  years.  never  had  that  issue  brought  up  by  him  before.  and  I  am  sure he  has  heard  his share  of  questions  and  comments. 
  I  honestly  don't  know  what  im  asking  or  expecting  by  posting  this  here. I  just  really  felt  the  need  to  put  it  out there,  and  see  what  kind  of  feed  back  I  get  from  it.
Thoughts? 
   
Title: Re: Getting read
Post by: Dena on December 27, 2016, 08:23:57 PM
Remember this "Life is too short not to be yourself."? I suspect that it's the same motto  that your husband lives by. He was aware when he married you that this subject would come up from time to time but he picked you over others who might give him trouble from time to time. I suspect the only reason he mentioned it to you was so you would be aware if it should you visit there again but I don't think he isn't concerned over it.
Title: Re: Getting read
Post by: Ms Grace on December 27, 2016, 08:46:59 PM
All I can say is that it is unbelievably rude of them to be giving him "grief" (whatever that might be) over something that is totally not their business. Maybe have another chat with hubby about it to see where you both are in this.
Title: Re: Getting read
Post by: HappyMoni on December 27, 2016, 10:18:46 PM
 If he didn't tell you, wouldn't that be weird. I have a no secrets policy with my wife. It means good or bad, I tell her and she tells me. Then we take time and talk it out. Works pretty well.  If your partner got grief and held it to himself, I would be more worried.
Monica
Title: Re: Getting read
Post by: Tessa James on December 27, 2016, 10:34:15 PM
Hey Red,

I also live in a small town rural area where everybody pretty much knows.  Still new folks come in to the community and I am sorry to suggest that there is increasing awareness of us socially.  We are the new media darling.   Seems everyone knows someone who is gay or lesbian and maybe they are even part of the family but fewer people are familiar with transgender people.  Gossip about us can spread far and fast. 

I feel sorry for those people who think its all about our body parts when loving your husband, wife or kids is all about whats in our hearts.  Yes, I too would feel better to hear about what my partner experiences and be there to support them.  I will be betting on your solid 13 years together meaning more than a rude rubbernecker.
Title: Re: Getting read
Post by: lilredneckgirl on December 28, 2016, 01:58:20 PM
 Thank  you  all  for the  replies.
We  talked  last  evening,  and  its not  an  issue  for  my  husband.  .    he  was  just  relating  to  me  how  shocked  he  was  at  the  difference  in  how  they  treated  him  after  finding  out. It  was  so  noticeable,  that  those  in  charge,      actually  called  a  meeting  ,  and  apparently  the  head  of  the  group  stood  strong,  and  told  anyone  that  had  issues,  to  find  the  door  and  let  themselves  out. 
  just  sad  in  this  day  and  age  that  we  still  face that  kind  of  stuff.