Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Post operative life => Topic started by: lilredneckgirl on December 27, 2016, 07:55:30 PM Return to Full Version
Title: Getting read
Post by: lilredneckgirl on December 27, 2016, 07:55:30 PM
Post by: lilredneckgirl on December 27, 2016, 07:55:30 PM
I transitioned way back, 2003, and met my husband a year later, married, just kinda forgot about the drama of getting read. Im in a small town, so everyone knows me and my history, no big deal anymore.
so anyways, my husband is out of town for a few weeks, and Sunday I drive up to see him for a few hours. Non eventful, a good visit, the people he is with are nice, chatting , etc.
tonight i call him and he tells me hes getting grief from them as someone realized I had transitioned.
He says hes ok, and its no big deal, and I am thinking if its not a big deal, why did you mention it?
we have been married coming on 13 years. never had that issue brought up by him before. and I am sure he has heard his share of questions and comments.
I honestly don't know what im asking or expecting by posting this here. I just really felt the need to put it out there, and see what kind of feed back I get from it.
Thoughts?
so anyways, my husband is out of town for a few weeks, and Sunday I drive up to see him for a few hours. Non eventful, a good visit, the people he is with are nice, chatting , etc.
tonight i call him and he tells me hes getting grief from them as someone realized I had transitioned.
He says hes ok, and its no big deal, and I am thinking if its not a big deal, why did you mention it?
we have been married coming on 13 years. never had that issue brought up by him before. and I am sure he has heard his share of questions and comments.
I honestly don't know what im asking or expecting by posting this here. I just really felt the need to put it out there, and see what kind of feed back I get from it.
Thoughts?
Title: Re: Getting read
Post by: Dena on December 27, 2016, 08:23:57 PM
Post by: Dena on December 27, 2016, 08:23:57 PM
Remember this "Life is too short not to be yourself."? I suspect that it's the same motto that your husband lives by. He was aware when he married you that this subject would come up from time to time but he picked you over others who might give him trouble from time to time. I suspect the only reason he mentioned it to you was so you would be aware if it should you visit there again but I don't think he isn't concerned over it.
Title: Re: Getting read
Post by: Ms Grace on December 27, 2016, 08:46:59 PM
Post by: Ms Grace on December 27, 2016, 08:46:59 PM
All I can say is that it is unbelievably rude of them to be giving him "grief" (whatever that might be) over something that is totally not their business. Maybe have another chat with hubby about it to see where you both are in this.
Title: Re: Getting read
Post by: HappyMoni on December 27, 2016, 10:18:46 PM
Post by: HappyMoni on December 27, 2016, 10:18:46 PM
If he didn't tell you, wouldn't that be weird. I have a no secrets policy with my wife. It means good or bad, I tell her and she tells me. Then we take time and talk it out. Works pretty well. If your partner got grief and held it to himself, I would be more worried.
Monica
Monica
Title: Re: Getting read
Post by: Tessa James on December 27, 2016, 10:34:15 PM
Post by: Tessa James on December 27, 2016, 10:34:15 PM
Hey Red,
I also live in a small town rural area where everybody pretty much knows. Still new folks come in to the community and I am sorry to suggest that there is increasing awareness of us socially. We are the new media darling. Seems everyone knows someone who is gay or lesbian and maybe they are even part of the family but fewer people are familiar with transgender people. Gossip about us can spread far and fast.
I feel sorry for those people who think its all about our body parts when loving your husband, wife or kids is all about whats in our hearts. Yes, I too would feel better to hear about what my partner experiences and be there to support them. I will be betting on your solid 13 years together meaning more than a rude rubbernecker.
I also live in a small town rural area where everybody pretty much knows. Still new folks come in to the community and I am sorry to suggest that there is increasing awareness of us socially. We are the new media darling. Seems everyone knows someone who is gay or lesbian and maybe they are even part of the family but fewer people are familiar with transgender people. Gossip about us can spread far and fast.
I feel sorry for those people who think its all about our body parts when loving your husband, wife or kids is all about whats in our hearts. Yes, I too would feel better to hear about what my partner experiences and be there to support them. I will be betting on your solid 13 years together meaning more than a rude rubbernecker.
Title: Re: Getting read
Post by: lilredneckgirl on December 28, 2016, 01:58:20 PM
Post by: lilredneckgirl on December 28, 2016, 01:58:20 PM
Thank you all for the replies.
We talked last evening, and its not an issue for my husband. . he was just relating to me how shocked he was at the difference in how they treated him after finding out. It was so noticeable, that those in charge, actually called a meeting , and apparently the head of the group stood strong, and told anyone that had issues, to find the door and let themselves out.
just sad in this day and age that we still face that kind of stuff.
We talked last evening, and its not an issue for my husband. . he was just relating to me how shocked he was at the difference in how they treated him after finding out. It was so noticeable, that those in charge, actually called a meeting , and apparently the head of the group stood strong, and told anyone that had issues, to find the door and let themselves out.
just sad in this day and age that we still face that kind of stuff.