Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Hello, I'm 31 years old and just beginning to discover myself. I've been having these thoughts a lot for about 4 Years or so and now I'm able to figure myself out. My question is what items should I begin with to start discovering myself? (Clothes, makeup and such). Also, how do I figure out sizing?

Sorry if this is in the wrong forum. Thanks.

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Hugs

V M

Congratulations!

You've probably done the hardest part by just knowing what you want!

This forum is filled with advice and helpful members.

Here is a link to an online transition channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfO3B57E6NpIn-KsVjvmLLw

I'm partial transmale, mostly non-binary, who usually buys men's clothing which I pass off as women's clothing.

One cheap suggestion; you could go to a Goodwill store and try on a lot of clothes to get a feel for what looks good on you, which sizes work for your figure, etc and soon you'll be able to just look at something and know if it fits. Many of the clothes in these second-hand stores are brand new, with tags still on them, or only worn once.

I should know..I used to buy stuff get it home, then think "meh!" and take it to Goodwill. Or wear it once, then decide it wasn't comfortable and donate it. In fact, many people seldom or never pay retail when the second-hand market is such a money saver, filled with stylish clothes.

My daughter and I used to shop at yard sales also, picking up almost new leather jackets, long leather coats, ski suits, wool sweaters, snow boots, even skis! But I'm the same way..once I see a newer model, I dump the ones I have.

Goodwill was where I started.  Once you are comfortable with that you can try TJMaxx, Marshalls, H&M, Burlington.  They typically have great prices and tons of clearance items.

As for what to buy.  Ladies panties at places like Target or Walmart or even online.  All online stores have sizing charts.  Get a cloth tape measure (you can probably get them at Target or Walmart) measure yourself, there are YouTube tutorials to show you how.

I started wearing ladies undies and knee/boot socks first.  They're easy to "hide" and may make you feel better.  I recommend that you do not start with bras.  Too easy to spot by others.

One thing that we all agree on is go see a therapist to help you understand what's going on and how to navigate a transition.

Other simple thing, shave your legs and the rest of your body hair.  It is an odd feeling that may make you feel better or could totally freak yourself out.

Good luck.  BTW you have come to the right place for help and guidance.

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Quote from: Denise on January 05, 2017, 06:32:12 AM
Goodwill was where I started.  Once you are comfortable with that you can try TJMaxx, Marshalls, H&M, Burlington.  They typically have great prices and tons of clearance items.

As for what to buy.  Ladies panties at places like Target or Walmart or even online.  All online stores have sizing charts.  Get a cloth tape measure (you can probably get them at Target or Walmart) measure yourself, there are YouTube tutorials to show you how.

I started wearing ladies undies and knee/boot socks first.  They're easy to "hide" and may make you feel better.  I recommend that you do not start with bras.  Too easy to spot by others.

One thing that we all agree on is go see a therapist to help you understand what's going on and how to navigate a transition.

Other simple thing, shave your legs and the rest of your body hair.  It is an odd feeling that may make you feel better or could totally freak yourself out.

Good luck.  BTW you have come to the right place for help and guidance.

Sent from my LG-H820 using Tapatalk

Thank you for the reply. I have been shaving actually and it's been enjoyable for me. As far as what I'm doing for dressing will be strictly at home for now to get a feel for what I want and if these feelings are something I want to pursue. I have come out to one person and she has been very supportive and helpful, said she would be willing to do nails and makeup for me if I decide to.

If she is willing to educate you in make up, DO IT!

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Congratulations on taking your first steps.  Here are a couple of other things you may want to try:

Womens' jeans - They are WAY more comfortable with the stretchier fabric.  You may find it hard to go back to your old ones. 

Toenail polish - Getting pedicures is a really nice way to practice self-care and have fun too.  People will likely not see them, and even if they do, you can tell them that's it's cheaper (it usually is) to get them colored than to pay extra for a shiny buff finish. 


Good luck and have fun! 

Erin

Welcome to the site.

All very good suggestions so far.

Only other thing I would add is to ask if you are seeing therapist yet? A gender therapist can help you make sense and safely guide you through the confusing maze  of a trans life.

Good luck, have fun and be safe.

With warmth,

Joanna

What are you experimenting with crossdressing? transitioning? My suggestion is to seek out a gender therapist. A good electrologist as they will be needed. I am lucky to have two wonderful ladies in Tacoma working on me. One has pcos and the other is married to a mtf transgender person. Speech training is another thing. I like to read the University of Iowa voice academy information. https://uiowa.edu/voice-academy/nurses-office Downloading "Da Tuner" from the app store will help you learn to stay in pitch.  YouTube is a very good source for makeup lessons. I find Wayne Goss most informative. Crossdressing more or less just making yourself feel good. Transitioning is a commitment that can not be taken lightly. That is why I recommend a "gender therapist". There are some on line who practice via Skype. Review Susan's Place wiki. There are tons of information there. If you are transitioning read the WPATH information as it is the guideline for gender reassignment care. http://www.wpath.org/   Last suggestion. Find a support group. This may require some driving but the more I meet people like me the less I feel intimidated. The more I feel this is the way it was always supposed to be. Good luck.

Dawn

When I started questioning, I did a few things...got my ears pierced (because I couldn't find out which side represented gay I got both done, "to keep others guessing". Fyi, there is no side that indicates orientation), started doing my fingernails, got professional waxing done to remove body hair, and got my eyebrows "threaded" (similar effect of waxing).

The best thing that happened though, was when a friend (cross dresser, RIP) gave me a set of silicon breast forms and said, "These will help you find out if you're transgender...if you're not you won't be comfortable wearing them, if you are, you WILL!"

It took me a couple of weeks to put on my then-wife's bra (we're the same band size) and when the forms were put in...OMG I melted! I knew right then I would need HRT, because while the forms were very realistic, I knew I'd need "my own."

Good luck, and remember take the process slow, enjoy the moment, and understand only you can know what is right for you.

*Hugs*

Quote from: DawnOday on January 05, 2017, 10:41:41 AM
What are you experimenting with crossdressing? transitioning? My suggestion is to seek out a gender therapist. A good electrologist as they will be needed. I am lucky to have two wonderful ladies in Tacoma working on me. One has pcos and the other is married to a mtf transgender person. Speech training is another thing. I like to read the University of Iowa voice academy information. https://uiowa.edu/voice-academy/nurses-office Downloading "Da Tuner" from the app store will help you learn to stay in pitch.  YouTube is a very good source for makeup lessons. I find Wayne Goss most informative. Crossdressing more or less just making yourself feel good. Transitioning is a commitment that can not be taken lightly. That is why I recommend a "gender therapist". There are some on line who practice via Skype. Review Susan's Place wiki. There are tons of information there. If you are transitioning read the WPATH information as it is the guideline for gender reassignment care. http://www.wpath.org/   Last suggestion. Find a support group. This may require some driving but the more I meet people like me the less I feel intimidated. The more I feel this is the way it was always supposed to be. Good luck.

Dawn

I have experimented with dressing up a little (a couple of times for very short periods of time) Now that im on my own in my own place I really have wanted to continue to experiment, so I'm not 100% sure if its just enjoying dressing or wanting to transition yet, though most of my feelings and thoughts tend to be wanting to try transitioning (as you can see i've had a first name picked out already lol). I did enjoy dressing up but I do feel I need a bit more time with it to know what I want to do. I do plan on seeing a therapist soon, I just haven't been able to make myself do it yet (it took me like 2 months just to get the courage to make an account here). There is also a support group in town but I haven't gone there yet either.

On another note, are there websites to buy stuff at a decent price? I'm not sure I want to walk into a store or goodwill quite yet.

Thanks everyone.

Personally , when I first started I spent a lot of time just relaxing around in panties (I had found a kind I could tuck easily with) and camisole never liked bras (unless I needed to wear one. lol) and then a nice bubble bath where I would shave my legs while enjoying a nice feminine fragrance in the bath (things I still very enjoy doing today!) I would practice doing my make up and doing my nails! That "personal time" helped me get through the rest of the time that I still had to present male until I could be myself full time! Blessing! [emoji177]Julie


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You might try

Full Beauty carry plus and large/tall sizes. Many prices are high but they are always having sales
http://www.fullbeauty.com/

Certainly use Amazon or similar marketers.

If looking for lingerie Her Room is good and has advice for fit and reviews of male cross dressers and AMAB. Often have decent sales and are very discrete in shipping.
http://www.herroom.com/

The only sites I am aware of catering to cross dressers seem to be kind of pricey.

Good luck

With warmth,

Joanna

All are available on line. JC penny is one of the few large retailers that have Tall fashion. At reasonable prices.  What size are you. If you can fit common sizes up to size 18 the sky is the limit. One cheap place for fashionable clothes to size 18 is Venus.com I love this place. Even though I am probably too old. But what I do in my own room is my business. "Shoes of Prey" is a good place to get custom shoes up to size 15 and the quality is outstanding. Part of Nordstroms. A bit pricey but if you like comfortable feet well worth it. I got 6 bras and panty sets at Amazon. I have a long frame and the bras do really nicely. Don't have too much up top but they were more than I could continue to ignore. Goodwill I hear is a good place to find things. I am too big for most of their clothes. Cosmetics? Sephora and Ulta have mail service as does Walgreens, CVS/Target and Walmart. One last place, if you are hard to fit. "Make your own jeans" makes jeans to your measurements. They cost $65 but they fit and really $65 is not that much. Nice jeans and a fashionable top and you are set to go. But don't ignore the therapy because take my word for it. Crossdressing will not bring that much satisfaction. I did it for 60 years starting at 5 years old. I finally opened up to my therapist and have been on HRT  4 1/2 months. So far it seems my body accepts the Estradiol as if it were a long lost friend. l can honestly say I have not felt better in 39 years.

I have gone a bit mad this month to my wife's dismay and should probably calm down a bit as she has a lot on atm with bad family.

I bought a large make up box and filled it with eye shadow & applicators, eye liner, mascara, brush set, eye brow set, lipstick pack x12, nail varnish x12 and foundation with a few other things and all not expensive branded lines, but reasonably priced off amazon and I figured I should practice with the cheap stuff first.

A few pairs of tights(Panty Hose) and a pair of legging's along with a nice pair of heeled chelsea boots.

The big purchase was a braun epil 9 and I have been using that all over, except the face but I am booked in next week for the first electrolysis consultation and patch test.

A smaller list for next pay day will be a wig, bra, panties and forms, may be a dress or blouse, That will be it then apart from any bits of cheap clothing I can find.

Being a size uk9 leaves me just on the edge for shoes and new look have some great deals, for everything else its been Amazon for now.

Quote from: DawnOday on January 06, 2017, 10:31:48 AM
All are available on line. JC penny is one of the few large retailers that have Tall fashion. At reasonable prices.  What size are you. If you can fit common sizes up to size 18 the sky is the limit. One cheap place for fashionable clothes to size 18 is Venus.com I love this place. Even though I am probably too old. But what I do in my own room is my business. "Shoes of Prey" is a good place to get custom shoes up to size 15 and the quality is outstanding. Part of Nordstroms. A bit pricey but if you like comfortable feet well worth it. I got 6 bras and panty sets at Amazon. I have a long frame and the bras do really nicely. Don't have too much up top but they were more than I could continue to ignore. Goodwill I hear is a good place to find things. I am too big for most of their clothes. Cosmetics? Sephora and Ulta have mail service as does Walgreens, CVS/Target and Walmart. One last place, if you are hard to fit. "Make your own jeans" makes jeans to your measurements. They cost $65 but they fit and really $65 is not that much. Nice jeans and a fashionable top and you are set to go. But don't ignore the therapy because take my word for it. Crossdressing will not bring that much satisfaction. I did it for 60 years starting at 5 years old. I finally opened up to my therapist and have been on HRT  4 1/2 months. So far it seems my body accepts the Estradiol as if it were a long lost friend. l can honestly say I have not felt better in 39 years.

My size is a 34 to 36 in men's pants, and I generally wear large in shirts. I'm guessing finding things shouldn't be a huge issue.

Quote from: dbzfanemily32 on January 06, 2017, 05:51:26 PM
My size is a 34 to 36 in men's pants, and I generally wear large in shirts. I'm guessing finding things shouldn't be a huge issue.

That would be around size 16. Now ladies pants take into account your hips also. Also ladies waists are about 3" higher. Bend over from the side and where your side where the indent is is where your waist is. Not like the old days where your waist started at your butt crack. ???   Sorry that's an old plumbers joke.

Quote from: DawnOday on January 06, 2017, 06:03:37 PM
That would be around size 16. Now ladies pants take into account your hips also. Also ladies waists are about 3" higher. Bend over from the side and where your side where the indent is is where your waist is. Not like the old days where your waist started at your butt crack. ???   Sorry that's an old plumbers joke.

The great thing about HRT(if and when you want to start) is that it changes things alot around the waist and size of hips and butt!  So that clothes fit better so you might want to keep that in consideration?
hehe! plumber's crack! I never understood the hip hop thing about guys wearing their jeans so low where your seeing half their underwear! lol

Well I just made my first purchase from Walmart online. A bra, panties, and 2 outfits to try things out.